The Bachelor asked:
Bachelorettes: We live in an age when women are freer to pursue their desires. There's a man on the fringes of your immediate social circle. He's friends with your friends, and so you see him around when you go out. He's single, and unattached (you checked) andyou really like him. He's good-looking, and from what you have heard, he's quite the catch. You have spoken a couple of times, but you would like to know him better. You have heard that he might be interested in you as well, but he keeps his distance because of the close proximity to your other friends. Would you make a move on him, and if so how would you go about this?
I will most definitely make a move: ask him to coffee. Coffee dates in my opinion are the best, it is early, you can make your deicision quick. It is not awkward OR not as awkward as a movie date or a dinner date. You go in, order coffee, make small talk and if we are both interested, make a date for movie if the sparks continue to fly, we can turn it up a notch with friday dancing at the dome.....
I would find out what his number was and call him. A little random and unexpected but I give good phone. I am able to strike up a conversation with anyone about anything and I am a good listener.
I would say something like - " Hey I got your number from blah blah and decided to call you. I've seen you a few times but we've never really talked so i thought this would be a good opportunity. How are you? How was your day/weekend? What are you doing right now? What do you actually do for a living?" etc. I'd try and find out what his interests are and suggest doing something accordingly e.g. If he's into art, suggest a gallery or exhibition. If we have no common interests, then I'd suggest going to a bar or going for dinner so we can hang out and talk some more.
I would end the conversation once we've set a date, with " Ok let me leave you to ___ (go back to whatever it is he was doing). It's been really interesting talking to you. I had no idea how funny you are! And your voice on the phone .... hmmmm don't make me even start! This is my number _ _ _ . We should definitely talk some more. See you on ____. Bye!"
I like to tell myself that if I see something I want, I'll get it.To be honest with you, although I am outgoing, I can be very shy. If I really like a guy, my friends would be able to tell because I get really quiet and try to make some eye contact to guage his reaction.
In this particular situation, I'll start to include him in conversations, ask questions directed at him and try to look him straight in the eye and probably look down, I can be so shy!
As I get more comfortable, I'll begin to flirt with him - more eye contact and little smiles. Hopefully, he'll respond to this and then I'll turn it up a notch, a little touch here, ask him if I look nice in my outfit, laugh at his jokes, have short conversations with him away from our group of friends, little things like that.
I'd love it if he asks me out at this point but if he doesn't as long as I can tell he's interested, I'll ask him if he wants to hang out sometime, just me and him.
Hmmm, this is a tricky situation. First of all, I'm not too keen on dating a friend of a friend (or friends). This is because there would be too much familiarity, and should the relationship not work out, someone would get booted from the circle of friends, and that someone would more than likely be him. So for me to even consider dating such a man, I would have to be very sure of him. In fact, if I could, I would get a signed statement from God, with Angels being his witness, where God assures me that my relationship with said friend has absolutely no chance of failing. But since I know this will never happen, I will just have to use my intuition the best way I can.
Yes, we live in an age where women are freer to pursue their desires, but I also believe that men and women are different. I believe men love the thrill of the chase, and women love the thrill of being chased. Hence, I'd rather be chased than do the chasing.
That being said, assuming my intuition gives me the feeling that things would work out with me and him, I would give him subtle hints to know that I like him. He will have to be really slow to not know I like him; people usually know when someone likes them and blind to see that I 'm a phenomenal woman. I'm great with my words, so I would verbally flirt with him. I don't mean I would say things like, "do you want to see my red thong?", but I will definitely do my best to let him know how I feel about him. If after all this, he does not 'chase' me, then I would let it go. I'd assume he is just not into me or just gay.