Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Any bachelorettes that are interested in being part of the series should email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Its going to be outrageous and so much fun......
Turns out my insurance expired last year. And not in December. Last April.
Emm....And he is mad that i just drive the car and not check the papers and stuff.
I guess i shouldnt also tell him that my car started doing something weird last week and when i got to the office and someone looked under my hood and emm...apparently, there wasnt one drop of water in my radiator.
Its just not easy....
Luther Vandross - Here and Now
I cried when Luther died. I have virtually every cd he has ever made and there are no words to describe how much i adore his music. Ah Ah.
Luther makes me fall in love with love over and over again. Its so hard to pick my favorite Luther song but this one is a classic, its very popular in weddings and i think its such a beautiful song. Enjoy!
*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
"We're diligently working on getting those funds available from outside sources," said Phaedra Parks, an attorney in Atlanta where Brown currently lives. Parks doubted Brown would get out of jail before Tuesday morning.
Parks said the rhythm and blues singer has been struggling to meet monthly payments to Kim Ward, of Stoughton, the mother of two of his children.
"Although this agreement was put in place when he was Bobby Brown the star, this agreement is being enforced when he is not always able to find work," Parks told The Associated Press. "He hasn't made an album in quite some years."
A judge in Norfolk Probate and Family Court ordered Brown held in the county jail in Dedham on Monday, one day after private constables arrested the singer while he was watching his daughter's cheerleading competition at Attleboro High School.
Authorities said Brown was served with an arrest warrant for failing to appear at a child support hearing in October. In October, Brown paid $11,000 in delinquent child support after being threatened with arrest if he stepped back into Massachusetts. He owed more than two months' worth of payments to Ward.
Loomis said Brown was cooperative at the high school arrest, and borrowed a cell phone to arrange to get out of jail. Brown currently owes child support payments from January, plus late penalties, Ward's attorney fees and constable fees, Parks said.
Brown, a Boston native best known for a solo hit "Don't Be Cruel," has a history of legal troubles. In June 2004, he was sentenced to 90 days in prison for missing three months of payments. That sentence was immediately suspended after Brown paid about $15,000.
Last March, Brown was nabbed for minor motor vehicle violations dating back 14 years when he arrived to watch his daughter at a cheering competition at Bartlett High School. Brown was allowed to drive to the police station after the competition, police said.
Brown and pop diva Whitney Houston are divorcing after a 14-year marriage.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Oh the beauty of this song. Peabo Bryson has faded into oblivion now but i still love his music. He unashamedly caters to us grown folks and i especially love this song. Enjoy!
*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*
Sunday, February 25, 2007
After the movie, i initially had plans to stay and see another movie but i just wanted to get home before it got dark. So i dashed to order my mom's pizza and there was this mother and daughter. The daughter had to be maybe 9 -10 years old. And her mom was telling her she couldnt have soda. The little girl asked why. Her mom said the soda had calories. The girl said no. Her mom raised her voice slightly and said sugar has calories - you need to lose weight. Mother then turns to her friend standing next to her and begins to talk about how her daughter needs to lose weight. As we walked away, i again turned to Daddy's Girl and said i could not believe that. What the hell? This child is young and had just a little bit of puppy fat in her cheeks and tummy region. I thought she was cute. If your child's weight concerns you, surely it can be managed behind the scenes without doing this? I sometimes have self image issues and my parents never ever made me feel that my weight was an issue. Never. Imagine if i had grown up with my mom pointing out the caloric content of food, i would be a hot mess right now. Manage the food that comes out of the kitchen. Flavored water instead of soda. Anything. I imagine that being a mom means a lot of creativity to get your kids to do the things you want them to. That little incident just bothered me sooo much.
I drove so defensively on the way home and drove way too fast. I just wanted to park my car. I told my parents about it and a friend that came over and i got the soothing words i needed. I had a bad dream that sort of replayed the whole incident - the man with the metal object hitting my window and trying to smash my windscreen while screaming that he had acid in a clear bottle he was holding.
Just for myself, i got up before everyone else and drove for like 20 minutes and then i came home. I dont know why i did that but i just felt that i had to.
Hope you all had a good weekend.
Friday, February 23, 2007
I cant explain what changed. Actually i would be lying there. I know exactly when my heart shut to him. I know the exact moment, the specific conversation, the exact moment and what he said that just gave me my "ah ha" moment.
And that's it. This time is different from the other times too when i let him go. Of course, i am glad i had those feelings for him, at least i know i am still capable of feeling big, explosive things but no more. I used to get so excited when i heard his voice, or saw him or received an email from him but now - nothing.
After i switched off him, i spoke with him and it was almost like i wasnt there. I was doing other things at the same time which was never the case. In the past, i would stop everything so i could really talk and listen to him. Now i am not sure i even remember anything that we said.
It feels good. I know that we could have been amazing together but i know now that it just wasnt meant to be.
Oh and the very confident part of me cant help thinking: You poor guy. What a shame you wont get a chance to experience what being in love with me is like. Pity that.....
Anyway, i found this article by a lady called Malena Amusa on hair matters which i find very interesting:
This past winter, I noticed something very unsettling while I was visiting my family in St. Louis.
Almost all the black women I encountered were sporting lavishly long hair weaves, fake locks that can add length and volume after being sewed or glued to the scalp. Weaves come in straight, curly and kinky textures. But most black women with weaves wear them to extend and straighten the appearance of their naturally coiled and nappy hair.
Everywhere I turned, from the church to the mall, black women suited up in this straight-hair uniform. Was I missing something? I thought. Would my close-cut Afro set me too far apart from other black women?
Natural, kinky hair--which is most associated with blackness--has also been tied to inferiority in the United States. We can thank entrepreneur Madam C.J. Walker, the late 19th century inventor of the hot pressing comb--literally a comb-shaped iron--for the subsequent years of black women burning their disobedient hair into submission. Still today among African Americans, there exists a strata between those with "bad hair" and "good hair," the latter being hair that is most in sync with the dominant culture.
Walk into any pharmacy and you'll see a deluge of harsh chemical products that promise black women unnappy hair. Many believe this is a demonstration of self-loathing.
The January 2007 copy of Essence magazine I picked up didn't help. "Look Beautiful in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s . . . Real Women and Celebs Share Beauty and Health Secrets," the cover read. Featured were three celebrities with flowing, bouncy weaves and another woman whose silver hair was visibly straightened to suppress the real curl underneath.
Essence had made it clear: There was no way to be nappy-haired and beautiful at any age.
Myopic Beauty Image
This perplexed me because around St. Louis, so many everyday women who have no celebrity stakes to claim were subscribing to this myopic image of beauty wrapped around these hair weaves that, by the way, can take hours to glue onto the scalp and cost hundreds of dollars.
I wanted to walk in their shoes and understand them, so I decided to get a long, straight wig. Without the labor-intensive process, I achieved the luscious locks of a weave so I could learn what the non-celebrity woman had to gain from emulating the straight hair of non-African woman.
After several days of wearing the wig and interviewing black women, I found that the straight-hair phenomenon has little to do with a need to fit into mainstream social settings. Rather, these long weaves may reflect our desire to try on a different feminine persona that has historically been appropriated for white women.
Throughout time, weaves and wigs have served as costumes for black women to put on when they want to look sexy, such as in the 2006 movie "Dream Girls" that's loosely based on the 1960s rise of the Supremes, a Motown sensation.
In the opening scene of the movie, before the Dreams enter their first big show, they shift their poofy, European-hair wigs around. Finding a perfect fit, they then put on a killer show. As the Dreams become more successful and switch from mostly black to mostly white audiences, their hair get-ups become longer and bigger. The Dreams begin to look like white women in black face. And when one of the members gets kicked out of the band because of her hefty appearance, she quickly reverts to wearing an Afro.
Buying a Wig
I knew my hair was being mistaken for my femininity upon entering the Asian-owned beauty-supply store in my predominantly black neighborhood where I went to buy my wig. Perhaps because the elderly Asian sales lady kept saying: "Oh you pretty . . . with the wig."
It became even clearer once I returned home with the long, black, straight wig in hand and saw the label name Nikita. Even the manufacturers figured that by wearing this wig, I was to transform myself into another woman.
A few weeks later, I moved to New York and met an actress and professor of aesthetic studies at the University of Texas-Dallas. Venus Opal Reese has interviewed hundreds of black women in researching this hair transformation.
During the opening night of her one-woman play "Split Ends," which takes an in-depth look at black women and their historical tangle with hair, Reese bombarded a small stage wearing a skimpy dress and a Tina Turner wig just as wild as her flailing arms. Seconds later, the wig flew off and fell to the floor. As the crowd yelped with laughter, Reese hurried to pick it up, and kept waving the hair in her hand as if still attached to her swirling head.
"Being a woman is a performance," she said in the skit. "It's a full-time, thankless job."
Dressing Up in Drag
Her point was to show that by wearing weaves and wigs, black women are dressing up in their own drag, whereby they can become the type of woman they aren't otherwise expected to be. Black women weaving up has so much to do with our need to feel feminine and strong at different points in our lives, Reese argued later in a phone interview.
"Hair is a navigator," she said. "It's a negotiator, it's a deal-breaker."
I'd say. In a world where black women are constantly blunted by racial and sexual discrimination, it makes sense that we'd begin adopting counter-representations of ourselves.
That's what the wig did for me. It gave me the freedom to be aloof, to flirt and to smile without fear of not receiving smiles in return.
I made several outings with the wig. During one trip, I went to a mall. The weave made my confidence soar. Heading there, I drove faster than usual. And every time I reached to pick up my cell phone, I dramatically tossed my hair back and said "Haloh!" roaring and perky like a valley girl. I was ready to explode onto the mall scene and attract all kinds of men.
As I entered the sliding doors, my hair swooshed about my face and I loved it. And after some time, I noticed that I was moving around like a butterfly, flighty and irregular. I couldn't stop giggling like a school girl and tossing my hair lightly back as I rolled my eyes sensuously around while talking.
The wig had changed me; with it, I felt excited to become Nikita, who I assumed was a fun-loving white woman.
I believed I could seduce with my hair without thinking men wouldn't return my vibes because I was too black. Whatever that feeling--call it femininity if you like--I had more of it. And while I hated the persistent itch of the wig and those fluffy bangs scratching my eyes, for the first time, I saw clearly the power of weaves.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
I walked into today's sessions and the man i hugged yesterday told me to sit next to me.
"Ah, Azu (yup. He got my name wrong), i left a seat for you. Come and sit here"
"No thank you sir. I have to seat with members of the PMO"
"Okay. Ah. Fine girl. Very intelligent girl. I hope all those men are not disturbing you oh"
Tell me exactly what the point of this whole conversation is. A hug to avoid germs and unthinkable stuff has led to this nonsense.
A few minutes ago, a note was passed to me from the man in question - what hotel are you staying in?
Like i would really tell him. I guess in a way i caused it...LOL.
Anyway, i leave this session in a few hours, so i will simply sneak away and make my escape. Hopefully by the time i come back, he will have forgotten all about this. He! He! He!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Anyway, he walked straight for me and said hello and held his hand out for me to shake. Yuck! He just came out of the bathroom. I wonder what he had done in there. No way. Ughh. There was no way i was going to touch his hand. At the same time, i couldnt just ignore his hand.
So i simply did what i thought was best - i grabbed him and hugged him. Yes. I grabbed a married, near perfect stranger and hugged him and said hello, smiled, picked up all my luggage and walked away. As i battled to open the door, i turned around and this man was still standing there.
What kind of klutz am i?
I managed to get some rest last night but its more meetings today so cant really blog like i want. Have fun you guys and fill me in on what's going on in blogsville in the comments section. LOL. Its quicker and easier for me. It is now clear to me that i am addicted to blogging.
I blame you all. How the hell did that happen?
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Anyway, the picture i mentioned very briefly is here so let me know what you think.
I am so so busy and i can barely string 2 thoughts together so bear with me. I will be out of town for work till Friday i think and i dont think i will be blogging much. Have a fab week and be safe........
So, a friend of mine who is pregnant flew into the country a few weeks ago and we met up for lunch and a movie. As we ate, she talked about how excited she was and all the changes she was experiencing and the grief she was causing her husband. I was thrilled to see her again and so happy that she was happy with her life. Last week, she called me apologising for not calling or emailing. She revealed that needed some time to herself. I was worried and asked what was wrong. She lost her baby - she had an ectopic pregnancy. I knew about this condition but didnt know the specifics. Information is power so i went on a research mission and i am sharing my findings here.
An ectopic pregnancy is also known as a tubal pregnancy and is a potentially life-threatening form of pregnancy in which implantation of the fertilized egg occurs outside the uterus. About 97% of ectopic pregnancies occur in the fallopian tube. The remainder implant in the abdominal cavity, on the ovary, or within the cervix. Heterotopic pregnancies occur in one of these areas, while there is also a pregnancy in the uterus. Approximately 100,000 ectopic pregnancies occur each year. Approximately 1 in 66 women will experience this type of pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancies can cause massive, rapid bleeding, and even death.
The most likely reason for the occurrence of an ectopic pregnancy is damaged fallopian tubes. This can be due to a number of things:
- history of pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or other sexually transmitted diseases-which accounts for about 30-50% of all ectopic pregnancies (ampulla damage)
- history of pelvic surgery (scar tissue outside the tube may causes constriction on the tube)
- history of tubal surgery
- fertility being restored through the reverse of tubal ligation
- tubal ligation itself
- tumors or cysts in the tubes
- fibroids in the uterus (which block the tube's entrance into the uterus)
- endometriosis of the fallopian tube
- smoking (may damage the ampulla of the fallopian tube)
- assisted reproduction techniques (IVF, GIFT, ZIFT, superovulation)
- history of ectopic pregnancy
- congenital defects in the structure of the tubes (e.g. exposure to diethylstilbestrol (DES) in utero)
- hormonal imbalance (excessive levels of progesterone or estrogen may interfere with the contractions of the fallopian tube)
- there is also a slightly increased risk of a pregnancy being ectopic in the case of a women conceiving while having an intra-uterine contraceptive device (IUD) in place. While there is a higher percentage of ectopic pregnancy in IUD users, the IUD does not cause ectopic pregnancies. Rather, it functions to prevent uterine pregnancies, so that any fertilization that does occur results in an ectopic pregnancy
Ectopic pregnancies are sometimes difficult to diagnose. An ectopic pregnancy is suspected if a woman has symptoms of a late period: irregular vaginal bleeding, or abdominal pain. Shoulder pain and a feeling of rectal pressure is also associated with ectopic pregnancy. However, some women have no symptoms (other than those of pregnancy), making the diagnosis difficult at times.
A sensitive pregnancy test (HCG) can determine whether a pregnancy is "healthy" or not. Women with risk factors for, symptoms of, or previous history of ectopic pregnancy should be closely monitored with HCG blood tests (approximately 12 days after conception and up to 5-6 weeks after conception). In a healthy pregnancy, these levels rise in a definite pattern (doubling about 66% every two days). An ectopic pregnancy may be suspected when levels do not rise appropriately.
A pelvic ultrasound is often used to determine the presence or absence of a pregnancy within the uterine cavity. Approximately 5-6 weeks after the last menstrual period, the use of ultrasound can determine if there is a gestational sac in the uterus. The ultrasound may even detect an enlarged fallopian tube or the presence of a pelvic mass, representing an ectopic pregnancy.
Sadly, at this time, even a viable ectopic fetus cannot be saved. About 25% of all ectopic pregnancies resolve themselves before a pregnancy has even been confirmed. When the diagnosis of an ectopic pregnancy is made, the treatment options need to be considered. In some situations, emergency surgery is required to control internal bleeding. If, however, the diagnosis is made early in the pregnancy and prior to tubal rupture, medical management is an alternative.
My song for today is by a Nigerian artiste that just blows me away. I bought his cd a few weeks ago and i havent been able to get enough. What a voice and what talent:
OJB Jezreel - Searching (Remix)
I heard this song over and over again on the radio but didnt know who it was by. I saw the video and rushed out to get the cd. I adore this song for many reasons. Its simple, this remix has a bit of a reggae thing going on, the words just ring so sincere - like this is real to him. According to the words, he is some kind of gangster and the object of his affections wants "a proper lover". Its a song of yearning and not being able to have what you want. Enjoy!
*If you would like this song, leave an email in the comments section*
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Love isnt easy for a lot of people. Loving people - family, friends, lovers even God with all of your heart can be hard especially if we have 'baggage'. This song puts it so beautifully:
Rachelle Ferrell - Wounds in the way
I love the way she gets into this and just tells it like it is - the first time i heard this song i got it. I mean, there is a lot of talk about being in the past and carrying baggage but all that we have are wounds that stand in the way of our ability to love, live fully and move on in the right way - if there is a right way.
So we have these wounds - some people work on applying the blam to heal the wounds, others stab at the wounds and make it worse while some simply ignore the wounds altogether - maybe on purpose, other times total ignorance.
I wish i could find the lyrics of this song to put up since they can do a better job of explaining this than i ever can but let me try to remember some excerpts of this song:
"Maybe there wouldnt be so many failed relationships
Might even have a ghost of a chance
If we're loving each other body mind & soul"
"Cannot bear to be honest with himself
So what the hell, lie to a woman
There are wounds in the way"
"As time passes by and the years multiply
There are wounds in the way
Some old, some new
Some stifling, debilitating and cruel"
"Some are passed on from elder to you
They dont even belong to you
Wounds in the way"
"As time passes by
They begin to accrue a strange sort of value"
Amazing. By the way Rachelle Ferrelle is one very amazing artist. In my books, she ranks so close to Me'shelle Ndegeocello in terms of intensity, vocal power and sheer wow value.
I know we all have wounds and of course the past cant be changed but i think its important to not be slaves to these wounds. Its hard i know and sometimes, these wounds have become a blanket we wrap ourselves in - like a cocoon and we use this blanket to prevent us from living and taking chances but think about all that's passing by and the chances to let go and be happy and at peace.
Wounds in the way - powerful stuff.
*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentines Day!
I love this day. I just love its significance. I love all the red in the air. I love the anticipation. I love the over the top nature of the day. I love it. I just do.
My song of the day is a bit controversial because i know so many young women that cant stand it:
Destiny's Child - Cater to you
But i adore this song. I am not a Beyonce fan but i am able to put aside my dislike for her to appreciate a good song.
I am a giver and have always been and i see absolutely nothing wrong with catering to my lover. I expect to be catered to as well. To do things for each other that you will bring a smile to the other's face. Making yourself a little uncomfortable for the other person. Of course the part of the song that says "tap me on the shoulder and i'll roll over" is a bit much but the idea behind the song gets to me.
Love is such a wonderful thing. I dont like feet except my own but in love, i will give him a pedicure. I will fly halfway across the world to suprise him just because. All of a sudden in love, there is that extra care that i take to make sure i look cute. Even if i am in joggers and a tee shirt, there will be a little extra care taken in making sure they at least match - LOL. Let's not get started on the letters and text messages. Corny stuff like mixed cds, cards and gifts for no reaso....Ahhhh. The insanity of love.
My point though is to not want to cater to your lover in one way or the other seems a bit odd to me. Love is not a competition, its not about power plays, who is weaker or stronger, its not about feminism or chauvinism. Its just 2 people hooked on each other. And if in the course of the relationship, he decides to paint my toenails or i decide to wear a Manchester United Jersey to bed because he gets some kind of kick out of it, i promise i wont tell anyone. It will just be between us, about us - doing the things that come naturally to us because we are in love.
*If you would like this song, leave an email address in the comments section*
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
3 things i do not want to experience:
- Losing another loved one - i lost a very special friend last year and its a different kind of pain, unlike anything i have ever experienced. Everytime i think about him, i just want to stop and wail. It subsides into a dull ache but the full brunt of the loss washes over me in those moments that i allow myself to really let my guard down and dwell. Its not something i want to experience again
- Failure - I am an overachiever and will run myself ragged in order to achieve anything that i set my mind to. As i get older, i am setting my sights on some pretty big, hairy, audacious goals and there is a part of me that is scared that i will fail in some of them. There are some things that i have set my sights on lately that i have failed to get and it sucks big time.
- Disability - This is something physical that terrifies me. I am so independent and just so me. The thought of going blind, or becoming wheelchair bound, going deaf or having a disability of any kind is frightening. Because this means dependence on other people for the most basic things. And my experience with people - friends and family, shucks even myself doesnt leave me with any warm feelings. Also, i love life. The ability to listen to music, see people's expressions, dance away etc, i thrive on. I imagine it would be harder to have been able to experience these things and then not be able to, than to have never been able to do any of these things at all
3 people who make me laugh
- Moi - i am a klutz, i say the silliest things without thinking and i just generally crack myself up. Last week, my business unit head was standing behind me, i whipped around and said "S, do you want me?". The whole office paused and then cracked up. You would think i would have stopped there. I went on to say "I meant, do you want me to do anything at all for you?". Enough said
- Otisi - this young man is a walking bag of laughs. I laugh and laugh everyday because you never know what he's going to say
- Chandler Bing - I miss Friends. I watch my dvds all the time even if its half an episode. Some of the things this man says have me gasping for breath
- All in all, i am easy. I am very ticklish, i get amused easily so i can burst into laughter at just about anything
3 things i love
- Words - in any order. Novels, poetry, papers, song lyrics....Just bring it on. I am a voracious reader and a very curious person. I believe that information and knowledge is power and i get my power from words.
- Music - Is this really a big suprise? Back in the day, i used to sing. I mean, could have made some money from it. I used to write songs and yearned to be able to play a whole ton of instruments.
- Shoes - I have no idea where and when this obsession began. The taller the heels are the better. I actually get a thrill from a new pair of shoes. Its nothing strange to see me parading around my house in my pyjamas and 3 inch heels for absolutely no reason. My folks just dont say anything
- Jewelery - This stems from my mother's side. My great grandma used to be a famous gold merchant from Ondo State. My grandma while she didnt deal in gold, wore some very serious pieces and still does. Then my mom. Wow. It used to be playful stuff when i was younger, now i have graduated to some serious stuff and there is something about accessorizing with jewelery that does it for me.
3 things i hate
- Cruelty - is it really necessary to kick a dog or beat a person for no reason? Cruelty to women and children...I find that human beings are animals at heart and some people havent managed to tame themselves.
- Stereotypes - All men are dogs; all mexicans are immigrants; nigerian women all like money etc. Stereotypes nauseate me. Take people on a case by case basis
- Creatures - creepy crawlies, rodents, cats, flying bugs. Yuck!
3 things i dont understand
- Atheism - I dont get this. You have to believe in something. A christian God, a muslim God, Hinduism, Bhuddism, Mysticism. Believe in something.
- Some fashion statements - skinny jeans, bubble dresses, over oversized sunglasses, leggings, short shorts etc
- A lot of languages - It would be so much fun to be fluent in like 10 languages. I would just mess with so many people
3 things on my desk
- My handbag
- My phones
- My bottle of diet coke
3 things i am doing right now
- Trying not to be sad
- Listening to Kenny G
- Thinking about the office "village meeting" which will kick off at 4 and is guaranteed to last till like 9pm *sigh*
3 things i want to do before i die
- Visit every single country in the world
- Find my soul mate, fall deliriously in love, have the wedding of my dreams, honeymoon inTahiti or someplace like that, have my 2 babies, and be deliciously happy and constantly basking in the love of my family
- Be on the speed dial list of some of the world's most powerful people
3 things i can do
- Work hard - strategize, meet deadlines, write reports, give presentations - if its work related, bring it on
- Cook - Yes i can throw down. And i love it too
- Be faithful to anyone i care about - friend, lover, family. Almost to a fault
3 things you should listen to
- That voice inside of you
- People that you look up to - older and wiser
- The horns of other cars - might just save your life
3 things you should never listen to
- Bad bad people - it could be envy, jealousy or just really bad advice
- People crying - you hear anyone crying, either ask what's wrong and try to comfort or get up and walk away. Dont just be in the same space with a crying person and do or say nothing
- The other voice in your head - the one that tells you to eat the extra piece of cake, call the married man back, lie to people...That other voice is bad...LOL
3 things i would like to learn
- To play the piano - i see myself in a long elegant black dress with white elbow lenght gloves, hair pinned up, diamond studs in my ear and a baby grand piano. I walk up and lift my train so i can seat on the bench and i begin to play a Concerto. I play beautifully and even begin to tear up. I rise and face the crowd and curtesy and i get a standing ovation. And as the lights come up, i see in the audience: my parents, my siblings, my soul mate, presidents of nations, Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, The 3 tenors..on and on. All on their feet applauding me.
- More languages - Italian, Chinese, Swahili are top of my list at the moment
- To say no
3 beverages i drink regularly
- Diet coke
- Herbal teas
3 shows i watched on NTA as a child
- New Masquerade
- Behind the Clouds
- Tales by Moonlight - until NTA got broke and the animals started having holes in their costumes and stuff
3 books i read as a kid
- Enid Blyton books
- Mallory Towers books
- The famous 5 books
Well back to work i guess.............
- Head - Risk Management & Compliance
- Head - Financial Control
- Head - Performance Management
- Head - Eastern & Southern Region
If anyone is interested or would like to know more, leave me an email address in the comments section and indicate which of the positions is of interest.
After leaving my doctor this morning and driving to work, i was at the end of 3rd mainland bridge and trying to navigate this pothole when i am thrown forward. Yup. Someone ran into me at top speed. Well i brought my car to a halt and came out feeling a little shaken and the culprit? An old man with coke bottle glasses in a jalopy of a red car of no known brand. I checked my bumper and while it was scratched, it was minor. The old man then told me it was all my fault. This is the point where i knew that i am thoroughly fed up with life. My reaction. I didnt cuss, yell or scream. I simply looked him in the face and said "you are an old man and you should know better". Thats all i said. The man actually looked taken aback especially since some passersby had already started to yell at him.
Anyway, i got into my car and drove to work. Not one tear (which is my trademark. I cry about everything), i didnt feel anything. I set up and started my work for today.
So, this isnt a case of needing a vacation. Going somewhere interesting. I just want to check out of life for like 2 days. I remember reading a very long time ago about some spas/resorts that are sleep spas. You check in, get knocked out and wake up a few days later. That's almost like checking out of life right so that looks so tempting right now.
But the thing with life is there are no breaks. You dont get to check out. You cant tell everyone to leave you alone. You cant not go to work. You cant not live. Well some people can but that would mean clinical depression and tons of medication.
You just deal with the hand of cards you have been given and keep at it. Keep going. You deal and you keep at it. Therefore, in the spirit of taking it all like a trooper and living, you compartmentalize the issues you have to deal with and bring them out when you're ready. Some may call it denial. Whatever it is. Life is calling me to fulfill my obligations so here we go:
My song of the day is:
Kenny Lattimore - You
The history of love concert was so great and one of the highlights was meeting the absolutely beautiful Taurean Minx. She is soooo cool. Chante Moore and Kenny Lattimore were amazing. Chante is such a beautiful woman and so luminous. She was glowing. Anyway, this song i have always loved. But i got tired of hearing it at every wedding and being butchered. But when Kenny sang this song, i cried a little and fell in love with the song all over again. It is truly a beautiful song so enjoy.
*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*
Monday, February 12, 2007
Its always about you
The world revolves around you
Your problems are bigger than anyone else's
Your successes mean more than anyone else's
Constantly looking at yourself
Friendships dont work like this
What about me?
I dont need you
Oh hell no
But i want you in my life
Can you spare a thought for me?
How i am feeling
How i am doing
Taking advantage of the way i am
Taking for granted that i will always be there
The world is so much bigger than you think
You dont make the effort for people
Instead people are awed by you
Floored by you
So you rest easy
Your many fans raising you higher than King Solomon
Always so busy with everyone else to spare a thought for me
Can it be that i have been too giving?
Can it be that i have joined the league of your many fans
And forgotten to tell you the truth?
Oh self absorbed
One day it will be too late
For the day will come when you will need to reach out
To the one that knows you better than anyone else
To the one that understands you
And i wont have the time to hold your hand
To say those words that lift you up
I will be too busy with my 2-way relationships
Tit for tat; give and take;
Those tenets that make the difference
Between a relationship and having a doormat
Your reflection and your thoughts will be poor company
Think about it self absorbed
Think about it
I was getting ready to shut down and leave for dinner, i decided to take some stuff to my car. I stepped out, opened the trunk of my car, put some stuff in there and shut it. Suddenly i felt a tap on my shoulder. I figured it was someone i work with when i turned around and actually stepped back. In front of me stood this man. I didnt know who he was at first but his appearance scared me. I had seen him about half an hour before going up the stairs and while i thought his appearance was weird, i figured he had to be here to see someone right?
Anyway, he was dressed in mismatched clothes, had weird hair. Like an afro but not well maintained - sort of tangled really. He was standing so close to me and he was oozing. I mean he stunk. And then his eyes. Manic eyes. I was scared and wondered what the hell this man wanted from me but i couldnt shake the feeling that i he looked familiar. I began to look around for any of the security guards in case i needed to make a run for it.
He then said my name - "Uzoma Amuta. How are you. Long time oh"
He said my full name. Very weird but he had to know me then. So i simply stared at him. Then he mentioned his name and where he had met me many years ago and i almost fell to my knees.
He looked nothing like i remember. I couldnt say anthing. I just stared at him. He then proceeded to tell me what he was doing at my office. How he was related to someone here and how he had it rough the last few years. He said he would look me up and asked if i lived at the same address? I was too stunned. Then some words just came out of my mouth that i should have done a better job of not saying
"You seem very excited. Are you on something?"
I dont know why i said that and i cant believe i said that. His reaction was what threw me. He backed away from me a little and then advanced and then he laughed and said he was a little blazed right now and was it that obvious.
Couldnt he see himself? He then asked about my husband - he said he heard i got married and my parents. I just answered in monosyllables. Then i said i had to go. As i managed to wangle myself away from him without allowing myself to touch any part of his body, he asked if i could spare N2,000 to help him out. I said i didnt have my bag here. You know he said he would wait. I ran in, grabbed some money, gave it to him and went back inside and wrote those lines.
I hate Mondays and i think i have said this so many times on this blog. But i dont hate this Monday as much as the others since i had a wonderful weekend thanks to Chante Moore, Kenny Lattimore etc. I will put up my post on the show sometime today.
I have decided that my song today is going to be about the greatest love of all:
Amazing Grace - Harlem Boys Choir
God is the reason for love. He is the reason for the gift of voice that these wonderful performers have which brought us all so much joy. He gives broken hearts strength to love again as in Chante's case. He gives creativity and energy which made Dbanj's performance amazing. He gives life which allowed me to get up, get to the concert and get home in one piece. His grace and love for us all is beyond words.
This song is one that i am sure most people know. The difference is that this version is a vocal masterpiece. There really are no words to express how beautiful this version is so just listen and enjoy!
*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*
Friday, February 09, 2007
LAHORE, 24 Apr 2006 (IRIN) - Huma, 22, now smiles many times a day. As she does so, she often stares almost in wonder into a mirror, much like a child encountering her reflection for the first time. For two years she had been unable to look at her own image: like dozens of other young women, most based in Pakistan’s southern Punjab, Huma had suffered a disfiguring attack with acid.
The corrosive substance was thrown in her face as she slept outdoors in the courtyard of her home in a village near Multan, a city 350 km south of the capital, Islamabad. "I just remember feeling something hot on my face, and then the searing pain that followed," Huma told IRIN. She is still reluctant to talk about those most terrible moments in her life.
A year ago, a local philanthropist based in Multan (who prefers not to be identified) hearing Huma's story, paid for her to undergo treatment and cosmetic surgery in Islamabad. After several operations spread over many months, her face is beautiful again. The attack on her involved a matrimonial dispute. Huma's family had refused her hand in marriage to Rizwan, 26, who they claim was an intravenous drug user. In rage over the perceived slight, he extracted his terrible revenge.
While precise figures of the number of women who suffer from these crimes are not available due to lack of research, hundreds of cases of acid burns have been recorded annually over the past three or four years in Pakistan. The New York-based rights body, Human Rights Watch (HRW), estimates at least 280 women died and 750 suffered injuries in 2002 alone as a result of acid attacks.
The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan documented 46 attacks in 2004 in the southern Punjab alone. Sameena Afzal, the chief coordinator of the 'Depilex Smile Again' organisation, set up in 2003 to offer medical help to female burn victims, said: "It is very difficult to find definite statistics. But we know the number is high. I have 150 acid and stove burn victims registered with me at the moment for treatment."
The marked increase in reports of acid burns since 2000 has been attributed to two major factors: copycat attacks triggered by several high-profile cases of acid attacks, and an increase in families going public about these incidents as awareness spreads. Afzal also points out: "There is a need for tougher legislation. At the many meetings I've attended people don't even take acid burns as a serious crime. It should be treated like murder, because the victims are like the living dead."
The increase in awareness of the debilitating crime has led to some significant gains. In August 2003, the Punjab provincial assembly passed legislation under which an acid attack would rank as attempted murder. The bill was moved by member of parliament, Humaira Awais Shahid, who has consistently raised issues concerning women in the house. However, no national law exists – and despite a ban on the open sale of corrosive substances, acid of all kinds can be easily purchased throughout Pakistan for less than US $1.
The 'Smile Again' programme notes that women disfigured due to acid attacks are often suicidal, lack trust in anyone and often lose all desire to continue with their lives. One of the cases that brought the issue into the limelight internationally was that of Fakhra Younis. Fakhra was married to Bilal Khar, the son of an influential feudal politician, Mustafa Khar. In 2000, after Fakhra chose to leave her abusive husband, he poured a canister of acid on her. Fakhra sought help at the doorstep of Tehmina Durrani, a woman who had once been married to Khar’s father.
The story of her violent marriage, in her 1994 book, 'My Feudal Lord', made the international best-seller lists, and created a storm within the Pakistani society. Tehmina took up Fakhra's case and helped her escape the country with her young son and received treatment in Italy.The case acted to bring acid burning into focus and in 2003, help for acid burn victims came from an unusual source. Depilex, one of the premier beauty salons in Pakistan, teamed up with Italian charity 'Smile Again' to set up the 'Depilex Smile Again' programme in the country. The charity had already worked with acid-burn victims in Bangladesh, where such crimes are also common.
Since 2003, dozens of women have been operated upon under the programme. Doctors from Italy and France fly in to carry out surgery at hospitals in Lahore and Islamabad, and when required, victims are flown to Italy for the treatment they need. "We want every woman to look beautiful, to be confident and to smile again," Mussarat Misbah, the owner of the Depilex beauty business, said. But even after surgery, many victims remain vulnerable from those who originally perpetrated the crime.
Often the women have no choice but to remain in the circumstances that led to the original abuse. Depilex tries to meet this need by offering vocational training to acid victims, while Sameena has called for "many more shelter houses to be set up for victims." So far, there is little evidence of a decline in the rate of acid attacks on women. Due to inefficiencies in the police system, perpetrators are often able to escape, which encourages others to carry out acts of violence using acid. Across the country, hundreds of victims of such attacks still nurse their scars – both physical and mental.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - Anna Nicole Smith, the curvaceous blonde whose life played out as an extraordinary tabloid tale — Playboy centerfold, jeans model, bride of an octogenarian oil tycoon, reality-show subject, tragic mother — died Thursday after collapsing at a hotel. She was 39.
Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino and was rushed to a hospital. Edwina Johnson, chief investigator for the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office, said the cause of death was under investigation and an autopsy would be done on Friday. Just five months ago, Smith's 20-year-old son, Daniel, died suddenly in the Bahamas in what was believed to be a drug-related death.
Seminole Police Chief Charlie Tiger said a private nurse called 911 after finding Smith unresponsive in her sixth-floor room at the hotel, which is on an Indian reservation. He said Smith's bodyguard administered CPR, but she was declared dead at a hospital. Later Thursday, two sheriff's deputies carried out at least eight brown paper bags sealed with red evidence tape from Smith's hotel room.
Dr. Joshua Perper, the chief Broward County medical examiner who will perform the autopsy, said if her death was from natural causes, the findings would likely be announced quickly. He cautioned, however, that definitive results could take weeks.
I have to say that i am very very proud of my blogfam. The comments shared on my last post were respectful but concise. We agreed/disagreed with each other using valid points that are food for thought. I love that. And my guess is that most of the people that left comments are of my generation which makes me so proud and optimistic.
Anyway: a radical thought. There is a part of me that doesnt think that there will be elections at all. Maybe the Niger Delta crisis will escalate. Maybe the government will stage some incident. Obasanjo will declare a state of emergency and stay on to keep the peace.
So many things can happen between now and April. I just hope that it stay relatively clean and bloodless.
I really think that Marc Anthony is talented and one of the better vocalists out there. There is an honesty in his voice that i really like. This song was then redone by CeCe Winans and i have to admit that i do not like her version at all. One of my blogger pals likes her version - i wonder if she has heard his version.
*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*
Yar'Adua - Obasanjo's pick
Atiku - Current Vice President
Buhari - Former military ruler
Now, i dont think much of any of these guys but i will vote. So who will get me vote?
I follow the news religiously. I live with a political pundit who also knows history. So my dad will give me insight from years back which i enjoy hearing. My brother has joined us at home and with an undergraduate degree in politcal science and international relations, i have very smart, well read men to answer my many questions.
I now state that of the lot, my vote will go to Atiku.
The man has no doubt lined his pockets but then again who hasnt. They have all done it - its just a question of how much. Some have stolen more, some less. Even the people in the private sector have at some point lined their pockets. My dad calls it enlightened self interest. It is human nature though as its done worldwide. We are just not as sophisticated as the West in hiding it.
But the man has something about him which if channelled properly can do this nation some good.
Did you know that Atiku recommended Ms Okonjo-Iweala to the president after looking her up and being impressed with her achievements at the World Bank?
Atiku is is a savvy business man who isnt afraid to hire the best to take care of business.
I am most impressed by his stubborness.
Atiku has given it hard to Obasanjo since this saga began. Let's not forget that Atiku "won" the elections way back and the powers that be including one of my favorite people - IBB decided to put Obasanjo in power. Atiku was not pleased but there was an agreement which led to him being made VP. There is the story of the famous humiliation of OBJ. OBJ had to prostrate for Atiku and this is apparently true.
Anyway, OBJ decided to get rid of his Vice when he thought he was done with him around the time his efforts to get a 3rd term began to pick up steam. Suprise, suprise. Atiku refused to do the "right" thing and resign.
Atiku has exposed some of the sins of our holier than thou president including looted funds, companies used as fronts and even gifts to women (our president seems to LOVE the ladies).
OBJ and his cohorts have tried to declare the seat of the VP vacant but its not working so far. Yesterday, the papers carried the headline: "Atiku......tops EFCC list". This morning, the papers state: "Atiku sues Ribadu". Atiku is one fearless, stubborn man.
He has made some sound statements in the past few weeks. If anyone goes to the CNN website today, Nigeria is THE news for today - in particular, the Niger Delta. Its harrowing. Atiku stated that the current administration was not doing anything about this area. He said the sophisticated weapons used by these young men were being supplied with the knowledge of the administration and the solution to this problem is not being addressed. He quite eloquently said this business of kidnapping and paying ransoms is just the tip of the iceberg. That this seemingly "little" matter of MEND (movement for the emancipation of the Niger Delta) could destablize this whole country.
I agree with him and i think a lot of people following this matter will agree with him. How can the reason for all the greed and corruption - this oil, be coming from an area where the inhabitants live in conditions so deplorable, that there are no words to describe it. Add to that able bodied young people watching the expatriates come and go and there is nothing to show for it. When the traditional rulers and governors are settled by the oil service companies and this windfall doesnt flow down to the people? I went to Bayelsea state - Yenagoa and i couldnt believe it. Its a shame.
Atiku pointed this out again last week when these militants stopped 2 governors from attending the PDP convention in one of the states in that region. These men stood in the middle of the road and stopped the convoys while firing some shots in the air. The governors simply turned back. And the OBJ administration doesnt think this is a serious enough problem? The kidnapping of expats is increasing. I can only thank God that these men are not killing the hostages. A lot of the released hostages say they are treated well and the young men treat the older men with so much respect. That's not the point though. The point is why has this been allowed to degenerate to this level?
Anyway, i guess the point of this post is that at this point, Atiku has my vote. He isnt the best person to run this country and i dont know who is. Definitely not a technocrat and i dont see any politicians now that can run this country. Sure some of them can be given portfolios - Donald Duke should handle tourism, Oby Ekwesili should go back to solid minerals even though she is doing well in education...etc.
Let me be even more radical and go out on a limb and say that i believe that women should be given certain offices to hold. This is not about feminism or gender equality, i am just being realistic. Certain types of women are soooo stubborn, so principled and are willing to take even the old boys to get things done. See what Dora Akinyuli, Ms Okonjo-Iweala, Oby Ekwesili, Ifueko Omoigui have done. These women are a different breed. These women are not the wear jewelery and expensive lace ladies. These are action, focused women who have made a difference in such a short time and i am sure behind the scenes, they face so many obstacles. Imagine what would have been achieved if these women were given free rein?
I will halt here and state again as i have done so many times before that i love my country and this is my home. In my own way, i believe i am making a difference with some of the things that i am doing and what my company is doing. And i know that i will do more as time goes on. Because we have all been exposed to the rest of the world in different ways, we tend to compare this 46 year old nation with ancient civilizations that have been around for centuries. We are not where we should be but we are growing and jumping some growth stages and i really truly believe that when we are a century old, we will be something else. Hmm. Actually, i beleive that in 10 years, Nigeria will be a far cry from where we are today.
Here's to this nation of resilience with a future so bright.....
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
1. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Black suit, grey and white shirt, 4 inch black Aldo pumps and my jewelery of course.
2. WHAT KINDA UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? Bra and boy shorts
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Will Downing - I'll be
4. CAN YOU JUGGLE? I multi task very very well. I am a klutz so me actually juggling physical objects is bound to have very interesting results
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? An apple
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Light blue. Ocean blue. Sky blue. Blue
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Sunny
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Boro
9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Smile.
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Well i didnt get it sent to me. Olawunmi didnt deem it fit to send this to me. However, i have never relied on people at any point in my life so i sent this to myself and i love myself.
11. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Of course. I would be privileged to be friends with me.
12. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Well. I am hanging in there jare
13. FAVOURITE DRINK? Water
14. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? I dont drink but when i decide to imbibe i like mudslides
15. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL? I dont have a favorite lunch meal. I eat lunch when i can and it depends on what i feel like eating. Like today, i am craving singapore noodles. Help anyone?
16. FAVOURITE SPORTS? I like soccer. Manchester United rocks! I love figure skating and gymnastics - though if i am honest, as much as these are beautiful to watch, i derive a lot of sadistic pleasure from watching them fall and mess up. I love track and field stuff.
17. HAIR COLOUR? Black
18. EYE COLOUR? Brown. You should see my eyes when i tear up though. I have been told that my tear filled eyes can bring people to their knees. Now where are the tissues?
20. TATTOOS OR PIERCING? 1 piercing in each ear and an eighth of a tatoo on my ankle
21. STAR SIGN? cancer
22. FAVOURITE MONTH? June (my birthday);
24. FAVOURITE FOOD? Seafood. Unfortunately, a lot of people i know are not crazy about seafood so i have to take that into consideration when i cook for company
25. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Dreamgirls
27. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? June 25th
28. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Yes. I am oozing with bravado but i am really a shy person. Hard to believe i know
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS BETTER? I scare easily and i have an overactive imagination so i dont do scary movies. Happy endings for sure.
30. SUMMER OR WINTER? Well i am back in Nigeria and its always summer here. But i used to love winter. Soft sweaters, boots and stockings. Cups of soup and cocoa. My fireplace. Tons of blankets. N to cuddle up with. Perfection.
31. HUGS OR KISSES? Both. I hug everyone i know. Kisses from my family and long lost friends. Real kisses from that special one can speak volumes.
32. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? At this point, i dont know. Relationships are exhausting and require so much work. One night stands seem convenient but empty. I guess in the long run, it would have to be relationships. Now all i need is for someone to invent a "How to make it easier" kit and i just might be willing to walk down that road again
33. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vanilla. I am not a huge chocolate fan. Weird i know.
34. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? I wish they would even though i am long overdue in replying to some of them. I still love them though
35. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? This is where i was slandered on Olawunmi's blog. But its all good. I say Overwhelmed Naija Babe. She likes Memes too.
36. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Soul. Yup. No amount of compliments, pleas and supplications will make this woman deign to do a meme.
37. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW? Nicholas Evans - The Divide
38. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I use a laptop so no mouse pad. But if i did, it would have something cute on it like puppies, disney character or something like that
39. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble. I am a champion. Dont mess with me. I can do things with the letter Q that will make your mind reel.
40. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Slept
41. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Its time to wake up already?
42. WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE, EVOLUTION OR CREATION? Creation. I was made in His image and that's all there is to it.