Friday, June 29, 2007

Women's Issue - Body Image & Eating Disorders


I have had this article for about a year and i had to find it to send it to a young lady in my life who i think will be interested in reading this. Its an old article (from the American perspective) but very simply written. Do you agree with the views expressed?
You don't have to go very far to notice that the ideal for women's bodies at present is a thin, fit, radiantly healthy, young, white woman. Just open a magazine, an advertising supplement to the Times, wait for a bus or subway, or merely walk down the street. The message of what we should look like is everywhere. The inescapable presence of these images shape our images of our own bodies, especially as women.

The media images we see of women offers us the "ideal." These women seem middle or upper-class by virtue of their expensive clothes, and are almost always white. Women seen outside the home are typically "attractive" and occupy jobs where they never seem to have to work. There are hardly any pictures of African American, Asian American or Native American women in advertisements aimed at the "general" population although they may be found if advertisers wish to "target" a group in a specific "ethnic area."
The range of actual body types in the past was no different than today. What has changed is what has been set up as the ideal. Studies have shown that while 25 years ago the average model weighed 8% less than the average American woman, today's model weighs 23% below the national average. The exclusion of so many women from representation is a denial of the wide range of bodies and appearances. Instead of marveling at the assortment of body shapes, we continually compare ourselves with each other. We begin to objectify our own and other women's bodies.
Notions of the ideal body are linked with the economy. There are a wealth of businesses that depend upon the American desire for thinness to survive. In order to create a market for their product, they attempt to make women feel inadequate about our own bodies. Their product or exercise equipment will get us on the way to the "real" us, the thinner, better, more popular us. We are given the message that our value depends on our physical appearance. We are told that we must be sexually attractive to be successful and happy. An ideal weight is presented as a requirement for being sexually attractive.
Unfortunately, limits on "desirable" thinness have not been set. The popular notion is that, as long as a woman isn't "badly" anorexic, being thin is not hazardous. Our standard of normal body size has become so thin that average weight people are considered abnormal. What has actually been proven, however, is that people on both extremes of the continuum (excessively thin or over 100 pounds above the norm) have increased health risks. The majority of those who consider themselves "overweight" are not. The height-weight charts we are familiar with were developed by the Metropolitan Insurance company, by a popular notion of ideal weight instead of a basis on an appraisal of specific health risks. In the conservative "Medical world," height-weight charts are being re-evaluated, some increasing "normal" weights by 20 percent.
Real and Ideal
Our ideal of thinness is influenced by many basic American values. This country prizes things like individuality, self-help, hard work, success, and self-control. We are given the message that if we just work hard enough at dieting and exercise, anything can be accomplished. Women especially are told that their efforts in perfecting their bodies will be rewarded by success in both their professional and personal lives. If we fail at achieving the ideal, we are told we must "try harder." A fat person is seen as lazy or greedy or without self-control."Obviously," we think, she wouldn't be fat if she could just control what she ate or "if she bothered to exercise."
As women enter the "male" world of higher education and employment, we are even more pressured toward perfectionism. We must not only achieve but excel. Some 1970's feminist advice tells us to be self- sufficient; that fulfillment comes from what we provide for ourselves.
While women make a few gains toward economic independence in entering the business world
without a fundamental change in its structure, we are forced to become "Superwomen." We are expected to achieve in the competitive business world while also excelling in traditional domestic roles of "wife" and "mother." Because of this dual expectation we are faced with many contradictory messages. Different characteristics are needed for each role and not living up to the ideal in either can cause feelings of failure and self-hate. We have attempted a sort of "masculinized" female form as a tool of upward mobility, and the need to perfect our bodies has intensified the social tendency to equate women's worth with our bodies. The perfect body is our new status symbol. Weight consciousness has become part of our campaign for upward mobility.
Attempting to enter the basic American search for self-control, individuality and thinness has not, however, brought most women more health and happiness. Instead, we often feel as if we have failed and the blame is laid squarely on our shoulders. But the social requirement that we achieve the "ideal weight" is based on the presumption that we can completely control our body size. In fact, the size and shape of our bodies are as genetically determined as skin and eye color.

Monumental Soundbyte - 31


In Deep - Last Night a DJ Saved My Life
Literally. LOL. The traffic last night was staggering. And thankfully it was SS's bday so we boogied down since there was nowhere to go. My time of arrival at home last night? 12.32am....Insane.
Anyway, this song was going to be on this list anyway, i just moved its place up a bit. 1982. Can you believe that? 1982. My baby sister has never heard this song ever. LOL.
"Last night a dj saved my life from a broken heart". How on earth did he do that? I mean did she have a bad breakup and the dj played some nice songs. I love this song but i have to admit, i havent REALLY listened to it. I think i know the chorus and a few words but its the beat and the fact that is soooo danceable that does it for me.
Enjoy!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

So Proud...

In this month's edition of True Love Magazine, there is a profile on female bloggers and all our girls are in there: Adaure, Bimbylads, Aramide (Mona), Bella & of course TMinx...

I am soooooo proud of all these ladies. Everyone at work that knows about my blog kept asking if i knew these ladies and with a sense of pride, i said YES....Tminx, i am taking u out for drinks as soon as u get into town.

So proud

Encounters!

I had an encounter with an okada rider this morning and as is usual, it wasnt a pleasant experience...Today, i am fed up and sick of Lagos

Monumental Soundbyte - 30


D'Banj - Tongolo
Yes. This song is monumental. This song was our introduction to the phenomenon that is D'banj. Mr Onobanjo has not come to play. I mean, not only did he come with the music, he has also added words to the Nigerian lingo and introduced a dance step - Ya'uzi (sp).
"Do you like the koko? How sweet is the koko? Kokolets 1,2, Kokomaster ....Lol
This man is naughty and soooo fun. His songs rock. He is supported by the able Don Jazzy (whose producing skills have my attention) and lately, his opening act is a talented vocalist called Wande Cole who is something else.The remix of Tokolo is hilarious and so cool, Why Me is great, Loke is so cool...and i cant wait for some of his other songs to be released.
Seeing him perform is a treat. His mom sells fabric (lace etc) and he always integrates the most interesting things into his costumes and looks baaaaaaaaad. He isnt afraid to do the purple lace sequined thing and of course, the sunglasses. He has stage presence and his performances are unreal. During the Chante Moore / Kenny Latimore concert, he performed Anaconda which is so naughty but i like. Everyone else performed but it was only when D'Banj got on stage that Kenny & Chante got up to really watch. D'banj brought on the atilogu dancers, tiv dancers and co and just brought it. He looks good always.
At the recent Hip Hop Music Awards, he was co-host and did this skit with him being refused entry into Muson and him sneaking past security and sprinting into the hall. He did this while wearing a 3 piece suit that looked like something that Ozwald Boateng would create. Beige, fitting his slim figure just right. He made his entrance and stood at the top of the stage in this pose with those glasses and it was just mega cool.....LOL
Efizzy is this man's middle name. He has a a nice collection of cars - one of which is a BMW 5 Series with a license plate D KOKO 1. I love it.
I expect bigger things from this young man......
Enjoy!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Take me away.........


I like to torture myself. I have been on the mailing list of this travel company since i went on a cruise with them years ago. Every other day, i get an email with some interesting deals and i simply sigh and say "Oh well". Perhaps i shall share the ones i find interesting from time to time. So i am starting with this one....(The parts of this vacation that just do it for me are in red)
Enjoy the sights and sounds of Central Europe with a scenic and unique cruise along the Danube River. Gate 1 Travel is offering a 6-night special for an outside cabin aboard the deluxe MS Bolero for only $499 per person. That's $300 OFF regular rates!

This special also includes:
All meals on board cruise, including unlimited wine and beer with dinner
English speaking tour guides and tour manager throughout
Select sightseeing tours including a visit to Nuremberg Castle, a concert in Vienna featuring works from Mozart and Strauss, a guided walking tour of medieval Regensburg, and much more
Optional tours also available

This special is valid for departures on November 15 and December 14. The cruise departing on December 14 also includes stops at Europe's popular Christmas Markets, where outdoor markets are decorated in lights and filled with music, along with baked goods, sweets, and crafts

Happy Times


Imagine the following:

You have just made it through your wedding ceremony and step out onto the church steps.

The photographer raises his camera.

Following your family tradition, both of you hold white doves which you will release together.

You and your new husband stand shoulder to shoulder with a dove in your hands as your friends and relatives eagerly wait.

The photographer gives the ready signal and you open your hands toward the sky.

Not a dry eye in the house, the camera flashes; the moment is saved for eternity....

What would you do if you were the bride or groom?

Monumental Soundbyte - 29


Donny Hathaway - A song for you
I declare that i am in the mood for sappy love songs. I also declare that whenever this mood takes over me, Donny Hathaway and Luther Vandross usually rule. Therefore, i think it is only fitting that i use this song today.
For a very long time, i thought Donny Hathaway owned this song - i mean that i thought it was originally done by him. Turns out it was written by someone called Leon Russell. However, it is Donny's delivery that is the post popular, the best sung and is just plain heavenly.
This is a song about deep yearning and Donny just brings it..."I've been so many places in my life and time, I've sung a lot of songs and i've made some bad rhymes. I've acted out my life in stages, with ten thousand people watching. ......Nd my singing this song for you"
Amazing song.
So so many people have tried to do things with this song and some have been forgetable while there are few that i really like:
  • Elliot Yamin's performance of this song on American Idol made me fall in love with this blue eyed curly haired sweetheart and made me buy his debut album which i dig
  • Ray Charles made this mellow and sweet
  • Michael Buble's version made me think of Vegas and performances by people like Tony Bennett
  • Gerald Levert brought this home for me as well

Once again, no-one did this song like Donny and this man was just chuck full of talent. Sadly he suffered from severe depression and committed suicide in the 70's (that's the official cause of death - some people have differing opinions).

Enjoy. Please press play on the thingy to hear this song.....

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Thinking Blogger Award!


Thanks to the fabulous Daddy's Girl, i am now the proud recipient of The Thinking Blogger Award which is such a huge compliment since i am being a goofball a lot of the time.
The way it works - a blogger picks 5 blogs that gets them thinking and those recognised blogs get the award and they in turn have to choose 5 blogs that get them thinking and on and on it goes.
So here goes:
Silent Storms in an Ocean of One: I am sure its no secret that Olawunmi is one of the people that i have known the longest - going on 14 years now. Ever since we met, he has been a teacher of sorts. I mean literally, he helped me out with some tough classes back in the day and as we have grown, that hasnt changed much even though i dont like to hear a lot of what he has to say these days. His blog is really cool and you never know what to expect on any given day. One minute he has you thinking long and hard about the state of Nigeria or the antics of Mugabe, the next its a barely coherent rant about F1 or my glorious Reds, the next he is pulling at heart strings with his words of love/yearning/desire that have many women in blogsville wishing to replace the words "her"and "she" with their names. LOL.
Aijuswanarite: A new favorite of mine. This blogger came to my attention during the Naija Bachelor series on my blog and his comments were just so amazing. I have been a fan ever since. Seeing as he was an English major, it guess its no suprise that he is something of a wordsmith. Even when he is questioning the "Naija Big Offer", i just want to laugh out loud. Its like his words are double edge swords loaded with oodles of sarcasm and humour. So cool
Soul Searching: This is a blog that grew on me. I read it every now and again and since i dont really enjoy reading poetry (I know - so hard to believe), never paid it much mind. Then Ms Soul did a post on blacks and i left a really long comment about it. She took my comment, made it a post and did a rejoinder of sorts and that was the start of that love affair. The woman behind this blog is one of the smartest and funnest people i know and she is pretty cool too. Reading her blog forces me to savour the words there. I am a speed reader so i read so quickly that there is the danger of missing the messages that lie between the lines. She has a way of making a simple post about rain seem like a decadent treat to be enjoyed in private
Life is Beautiful .....or is it?: Daddy's Girl's blog that has me checking if she has updated practically every hour. I love her vignettes and stories. Every now and again, she will whip out some poetry and have me reeling. This woman amazes me. Whenever we hang out and do our thing, i almost cant believe that she is the one behind her posts. She really is quiet and unassuming with a powerful mind. Anyway, she weaves issues from infidelity to class divides into her stories and i really like that....
Light Her Lamp: Jaycee's blog is an inspiration to me. She always has some beautiful christian/gospel music playing on her blog and a lot of her recent selections have been new to me. She takes a simple concept of everyday living and uses the Bible and the Word of God to let me know that there really is nothing, abolsutely nothing that God hasnt thought of. Weird thing about her blog as well is the fact that i feel like every post is just for me.
There are so many other blogs that lift me up, amuse me, get me thinking and just make me happy to be able to read but5 it is....

Monumental Soundbyte - 28


Biz Markie - Just a Friend
"Ooh. You've got what i need. And you say m just a friend. oh baby you"
Seriously - what is there not to love about this song? Its so funny - i mean his off key singing is hilarious. And the video for this song? Unreal. I really like this song a lot. I mean i hear it, and i just smile. Of course Mario covered this song but we all took that version a little more seriously didnt we?
The phrase "Oh Snap" originated in this song and it has become a part of pop culture as we know it..
Such a fun song - Enjoy!
*Press play on the player thingy to hear this song*

Monday, June 25, 2007

Thank You


I am so overwhelmed with all the love i got from you guys yesterday. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I guess i must be doing something right. I had a great day and i really wish everyone could have been there. I got suprises and phone calls and prayers and my heart was just sooo full. Thanks to all the bloggers that called me and sent emails - Ms D woke me up at 12.35am...Mad i tell you in a good way. I also had the pleasure of meeting a particular blogger who i think is even more fun than on blogsville...Wont say who since i am not sure the blogger would like that given the cloak of mystery that surrounds this blogger.


Well, its over now (*sob* I didnt want the day to end) and its back to real life....


Thanks again! Much love...........

Monumental Soundbyte - 27


Tere Bina - From The Guru soundtrack (putting the artist here i think will be redundant since it will mean nothing to most people except Daddy's Girl)
Seeing as its my day today, i think its so fitting that i have a song that embodies my passion - India. Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that i was probably Indian in my former life. I love India - the country, the culture, the food, the music and of course bollywood. I wont go into a full scale rant on what i love about this country but i will say that blogging has introduced me to a beautiful young woman who shares my passion and has quickly become my friend and will be travel companion as we travel to this country later this year.
I urge you all to see this movie if you can. Its based on the life of the MD of Reliance Industries and he Gurukant is played to perfection by Abhishek Bachchan (the son of the godfather of bollywood Amitabh Bachchan). His supportive wife is played by Aiswaraya Rai (former Miss World) and they got married in real life in April.
Okay - this song is amazing. I have shared this song with practically everyone that i know. I fell in love with the song obviously when i saw the movie and i couldnt wait to get my hands on it. Well i found the song and i had to find the lyrics translated. And when i found them, they took my breath away. One of the reasons i love Indian culture is its sensuality. The smells of everything from spices to perfume tease and tantalize the senses, the saris are the sexiest outfits ever - with the hint of skin and regality, the kama sutra and song lyrics like this one are about love. Not all this nonsense on the surface stuff but love that has to be described with phrases like .......i cant even begin to go there....So here are some portions of the translated lyrics of this song and you just might understand what i mean.....
Oh my love, what's the point in living without you
Without you, the moon's golden glow is impure
Without you, gold is brass
*Enjoy. Press play on the player thing to hear this song*

Saturday, June 23, 2007

A Modern Fairytale - Part 1


Once upon a time, in a distant land called Lagoshia, there was born to Otunba Femi Judiimi and Princess Fadekemi Aeisha a beautiful baby girl called Oreoluwa Adoara Mariam.
This princess with the multi-cultural names was destined to live a charmed life. Her parents though not born into royalty had been given their chieftaincy titles by virtue of their contributions to society. Her father until his retirement was a customs officer and her mother - well she looked good all the time and attended every occassion that was guaranteed to be a splash in the very intellectual weekly publications that were sold around town.
Our little princess' arrival was met with relief by her parents - her mom ecstatic that she finally had a child and that all her visits to the many holy men/women had not been in vain and her dad could finally prove to the world that he was virile. Besides, it saved him the cost and hassle of marrying another wife.
In that vein, a gig to end all gigs was planned. The live music was provided by legendary King Sheshe Agagu, the masked one Lariga, the elegant stallion Onyinye Owe and the Koko master - Dayo. The party lasted over 4 days with lots of food and drink for all. Through all this, our princess had her cute little self enrobed and disrobed a total of 25 times. And our little princess slept through most of the proceedings.
So our little princess began her charmed life. She attended the best private schools in town. Sure she couldnt recite her ABC's properly at age 5 but her parents stepped in and she scaled through kindergarten and nursery 1 without a hitch. She couldnt count for shit but her finger paintings were great.
Our little princess also began to develop the necessary social skills for interaction with the world. All her little classmates were either royalty like her or expatriate kids from far off countries like Venezuela and China whose parents worked in the thriving agriculture sector that was a huge foreign exchange earner for Lagoshia.
Fast forward 18 years.............

Monumental Soundbyte - 26



George Michael - Faith

I love, love this song and i am also a huge George Michael fan. We share the same birthday, i think he is so hot even though he seems intent on always getting into trouble but hey - its that bad boy thing i guess.

But back to the song - LOL.

This song is off his debut album also called Faith released in 1987. Cannot believe it has been that long. Anyway, the video for this song was just tooo much for my little self. I mean - with the skinny stone wash jeans, his impeccable coif, the leather jacket, earring, guitar, tapping feet, black and white video...I need to stop.

This song did great things on the UK & US charts and started George's solo career wonderfully.

This is one song that brings out the pretend rocker in me. I sing along and pretend to strum along on my imaginary guitar and my head does this weird bopping thing as if it has a mind of its own.

Monumental song because of its commercial success, the fact that it paved the way for George Michael's solo success, the video spawned so many clones in the 80's and shucks - i just love it. Enjoy!

*Remember the press play on the player thingy to hear this song*

AAAAHHHHH!

As you can probably tell, i am a bit unsure of what to do with myself....Friends cant really visit cos everyone is watching the petrol situation....I shall be back later in the day with a soundbyte post....

Oh------- I've got the blues

My birthday is on monday and the strike might still be on then....*sobbing*. I am not sure i can take anyomore. I am off to find some life and might bow and buy some black market petrol. NLC & Govt: please find some kind of resolution.....

Oh------- I've got the blues

My birthday is on monday and the strike might still be on then....*sobbing*. I am not sure i can take anyomore. I am off to find some life and might bow and buy some black market petrol. NLC & Govt: please find some kind of resolution.....

And the atrocities begin to come out....

* Obasanjo has bought a private jet at N36 million and has flown to Jamaica. The funds came from a company called MRS set up in conjunction with Dangote and Dantata

* Donald Duke is not the saint we all thought. Cross River state is in debt up to its eyeballs, Tinapa is not complete and it is rumoured that it will take another N60 billion to complete. The American companies touted to have taken equity and space appear to be a charade. Duke also left with 4 of the official cars leaving the current governor carless and thoroughly confused. One of the banks that Duke took a loan from disclosed how much it was and it is staggering. Remember this is just from one bank. The arrangement for Cross River state's loan repayment is a direct debit arrangement with a rumoured N700 billion taken from its allocation account directly each month. Donald Duke is in the Uk at the moment and is rumoured to be one of the names on the list of potential ministers....

* Its amazing the things that are beginning to come out.......

* Let me go out on a limb and declare that the Obasanjo administration will probably be the most corrupt we have ever had*

Friday, June 22, 2007

Day 3 of the strike

Oh dear. I am tired of this strike. I know the Nigerian Labor Congress has a point and i even give them kudos for actually going through with this and making the government take notice but...Its so hot. Diesel is being rationed. I am reading and listening to music. Talking on the phone is an option. Nowhere to go since there isnt any petrol. Agggggggggggggggghhhh. Thanks to my blogger friends that have called me...He He He...

The NLC has threatened to cut off electricity and water supply if their demands are not met....Aghhhhhhhhhhh!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

My thought for the day

Mediocrity attacks Excellence

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Day 1 of the strike

Yup. Its day 1 of the NLC strike and my petrol tank is on the quarter line. My parents have me on lockdown because of some perceived danger. But i wouldnt have been able to move even if i wanted to. I woke up this morning feeling like crap. LOL. Oh well. I have some work to do anyway....

Take care....

Monumental Soundbyte - 24


Sugar Hill Gang - Rapper's Delight
A monumental soundbyte that makes my list purely for its commercial success and relevance to a genre and not because i especially like it.
I think the song is alright and i definitely recognise it whenever i hear it but that's it. However, i think that this list wouldnt be complete without it.
I believe that this is the first hip hop song to go gold and a good number of relevant hip hop artists like Slick Rick, KRS 1 etc have cited this song as being a groundbreaking one for the world of hip hop. The hip hop genre is famous for sampling music and this song is no exception. Remember the song 'Good Times'? Well Rapper's Delight borrowed quite heavily from this song.
Any other facts about this song would be appreciated since the extent of my knowledge is up here. Enjoy!
*By pressing play on the player under the soundbyte section of my blog, you can enjoy whatever song is profiled*

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

My thought for today.........

Nothing is expensive. You just cant afford it.....

Happy....

I am ecstatic now 'cos i went to the This Day media store where i get a lot of my books and saw a countdown to the new Harry Potter Book. So i asked the young lady behind the counter and she confirmed it.....The book will be simultaneously released here and i can even pre-order a copy to ensure i get my own copy that day....

London Buki, Noni Moss and Vickii - we shall be reading this together afterall....

Monumental Soundbyte - 23


Craig David - Unbelievable
This is a personal monumental song seeing as it didnt receive as much commercial success as i think it deserved.
Craig David - the young man with the voice like honey and a bit of a cutie to boot has always been a favorite of mine. The first time i heard this song, i literally stopped what i was doing to focus on the music video which was soooo simple but appropriate for the song.
I think this song is absolutely beautiful and just...wow.
I have listened to this song countless times and i am amazed when i meet people that tell me they havent heard this song ever. This is one song that i want to give everyone i know. It will remind the jaded about what it means to love and be loved, make those in love smile at the thought of their loved one, and for those still searching gives hope...
I love, love this song and its monumental to me for another reason....(but its personal...LOL). Enjoy!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Another Meme----- Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!


Finish This Sentence
I am...: wondering if i should go and see a movie or stay in the office and do more work
My ex-boyfriend was...: a real dear (dont i just sound like an old English granny complete with knitting?)
Maybe I should....: remove my jacket....its after hours technically now
I love....: music/shoes/bags/books/dvds/eating paper
I don't understand....: why people always laugh when i talk
I lost my....: phone again (i think i might just have mislaid it..or it might be in my car *sigh*)
My current boyfriend is....: well trying to really be my boyfriend (can you figure that out? LOL....He cant either)
People say I'm...: Always smiling
Love is....: so damn confusing and hectic
Somewhere, someone is....: crying
I will always...: wear heels (i was looking for some flat slippers to wear on saturday to get my hair done and realised i only have 3 pairs of flats that are ugly by the way - need to rectify that problem)
Forever is....: such a very long time to settle for just anything and be unhappy
I never want to...: have regrets
I think the current President is....: in a pickle...LOL
When I wake up in the morning, I....: turn off my alarm, thank God and think how short my night was...LOL
Life is full of...: ups and downs
My past is incredibly...: fascinating
I get annoyed when...: people are just dumb/obtuse
Parties are for...: laughing, flirting and dancing - not necessarily in that order
I wish...: with Gary Dourdan & Joe on vacation receiving an hour and half long pedicure (thanks London Buki)
Tommorrow I'm going to...: Do a lot of work
I really want some....: butter on my bread, sugar in my tea, honey in my life - what on earth am i going on about?
I have low tolerance for people who....: ooze ignorance and sheer stupidity
If I had a million dollars...: I would invest and save some and then go away on holiday and shop and shop and shop and shop

Women's Issue - The best country to be a woman?



If you want to be happy, healthy, and powerful, you might consider packing your bags and moving to a picturesque country on the other side of the Atlantic. According to a new report, Sweden tops out as the #1 place for women to live. Is it the year-long maternity leave? The chance to date four men at once? The unisex public bathrooms?

Her radiant, larger-than-life image is everywhere: on snow-fringed billboards in Stockholm's chic shopping district, on stately buildings in the capital's picturesque Old Town, on the side of city buses. Ebba von Sydow, 25, is Sweden's current it girl: the face of Swedish fashion brand MQ's antismoking campaign and editor-in-chief of the nation's largest magazine for young women, Vecko Revyn ("Weekly Review"). "Every girl in Sweden wants to be Ebba," says a 28-year-old female office worker from Stockholm. "She is the woman with everything — success, power, brains, and beauty."

In other words, Ebba is the perfect example of what the latest research shows: that Sweden is a country in which women truly thrive. In fact, a 2005 report by the World Economic Forum found this Scandinavian nation to be the world's "most advanced country" for women, with greater levels of equality, power, health, and well-being among women than anywhere else. (The survey ranked the U.S. an abysmal 17th place — one above Costa Rica.)

Relaxing with coworkers at an exclusive spa to celebrate her 25th birthday, Ebba sips champagne while explaining that Sweden's pro-female culture has helped her achieve her dreams. "I have a fantastic life and a job I love. Women here are judged on their talents, not their gender," she says. "If you're good at what you do, you can get to the top very fast."

Sweden, which has a population of 9 million — around the same as the state of New Jersey — has a long history of female-friendly policies. The government gave women equal rights to inherit property way back in 1845; in 1901, it introduced the world's first formalized maternity-leave program. In 1958, the Swedish Lutheran church changed its doctrine to permit women to become priests. And today, female politicians make up around half of the Swedish parliament.

The goal of equality starts young: "Anti-Sexism Awareness Training" begins in kindergarten, where male toddlers are encouraged to play with dolls, and females with toy tractors. In school, classes in cooking, sewing, metalworking, and woodworking are compulsory for both sexes. All education, including college, is free, and girls routinely outperform boys; in 2005, women made up more than 60 percent of all Swedish college students. All this adds up to more flexible gender roles later: As one Swedish Website puts it, "In our country, women drive the buses and men push the baby buggies."

For Ebba, freedom from traditional roles means she has never experienced the turmoil of choosing between her high-profile job and a happy home life. "Few Swedish men expect women to be domestic or subservient," she says. "My boyfriend accepts that my job involves constant meetings and traveling, and he's happy that I enjoy it." Ebba's live-in boyfriend, who works 9-to-5 for a leather company, also does the household chores. According to one study, Swedish men do more housework than men anywhere else — an average of 24 hours per week!

While her boyfriend cleans house, Ebba focuses on being a role model for the 250,000 young female readers of her magazine. The glossy is a classic mix of style and beauty tips, but Ebba refuses to run articles about dieting or fads that might endanger women's health. "I try to convey that beauty is about self-respect, not about impossible ideals," she says. Nevertheless, she's a firm believer that Swedish women don't have to give up their femininity. "I love makeup, I wear pink, and I'm obsessed with handbags," she confesses. "I'm proof that you can be both smart and womanly. I get thousands of letters from girls saying that I inspire them."

In fact, most women in Sweden find it easy to meld femininity with feminist ideals. Carin Gablad, 49, is Stockholm's chief of police, in charge of fighting crime in the capital with a force of 4600 officers. "My approach is the opposite of macho," says the tall, blonde police boss. "I use psychology and negotiation in most cases, but I'm not afraid to use brute force."

Chief Gablad owes her high position to one simple fact: She gets results. Crime has dropped by 9 percent under her leadership, and shortly after taking office in 2003, she won acclaim by capturing a top politician's murderer. "Women make excellent police officers because we're less ego-driven and confrontational than men," she says. Nearly one in three police officers in Stockholm is a woman, and female recruits now outnumber men at some police training academies. "I think women are increasingly keen to join professions like the police because they are no longer told to act like men," she says. "They are rewarded for being themselves."

But for all this, is Sweden really the ultimate female nirvana? With its high income tax, women take home an average of $22,000 per year, compared with $29,000 for American women. Yet prices in Sweden are up to four times higher: a drugstore lipstick costs $15, a pair of non-designer jeans, $130. An evening out costs almost $150. For young women who like to have fun, it can be hard on the wallet. "I save all week for the weekends," says Anna-Maria Blomberg, 27, who works as a human resources assistant for a pharmaceutical company. "When I shop, I'm always trying to find ways to buy clothes on sale, so I can spend more on accessories like shoes and bags."

Then there's the other side of the equality coin: To avoid double standards, women like Anna-Maria are fanatical about paying their fair share on dates. "I feel very uncomfortable if a man buys me dinner or drinks — as though I owe him something," she says. Fortunately she almost never finds herself in that predicament, since Swedish men rarely offer to pay, nor do they perform any other conventional courtesies, such as holding a door open or helping a woman visibly struggling under the load of a heavy bag. "Naturally, we can't complain," says Anna-Maria. "But apart from the financial issue, I can't say I'd mind the odd helpful gesture now and again."

With gender equality comes further dating awkwardness: By American standards, Swedish men are painfully slow to make the first romantic move. "Men treat women like friends," Anna-Maria says. "They rarely chat you up, unless they're drunk." Instead, Anna-Maria often does the asking herself. "Sure, I'd like to be chased, but men have grown lazy in Sweden. So I take the initiative. Though I have to say, it detracts from the sexual intrigue."

Even so, Sweden's acceptance of women as the aggressors in relationships has its perks: Anna-Maria regularly dates three or four men at a time without social disapproval. And when it comes to sexual freedom, it's hard to imagine a country with more relaxed rules. Sex and the City
is shown on TV at the family hour of 6 p.m., and skinny-dipping in Stockholm's city-center lakes is reportedly a popular summer activity. One-night stands are also common. "You can sleep with whomever — there's no stigma against women who've had many sexual partners," she says. Which is convenient, since Anna-Maria is having too much fun to settle down just yet. In time, she says, she hopes to meet a long-term partner and have a family. Though her requirements might seem unrealistic, Anna-Maria knows what she's looking for: "I couldn't give up my job, so I wouldn't dream of marrying a man who wasn't prepared to stay at home and look after the children on an equal basis with me."

Although most Swedish women work, the country has one of the highest birth rates in Europe, thanks to generous laws on parental leave. "We're lucky, because we can have our careers and our families," says Anna Eriksson, 29, the head of production at a TV company. Anna and her partner, Henrik Persson, 33, live just outside Stockholm with their 16-month-old son and have another baby on the way. Swedish couples — women and men — get 13 months paid leave and another three months at a fixed rate. Of that, 60 days must be taken by the mother, another 60 by the father, and the rest can be divided however they choose. (New mothers in the U.S. who have worked one year receive 12 weeks unpaid leave.) "The system means there's no financial hardship," says Anna, "and your job is still waiting for you afterward." (By law, employers must hold a new mother's job for her for the duration of her maternity leave.)

Anna spent seven months at home after her son, Melvin, was born, and then Henrik, a computer consultant, took over so she could return to work. Henrik leaped at the chance to be a stay-at-home dad: "I wanted to bond with my son. My job is not more important than Anna's, so there was no reason not to stay home," he says.

It's 8 a.m. in their two-story home, decorated in classic Swedish style with pale wood and clean white walls, and Henrik is preparing muesli and coffee for Anna's breakfast. Melvin cried all night because of an ear infection, so both Mom and Dad are sleep-deprived. "We have the usual stresses of new parenthood," says Anna. "But the roles are reversed: Henrik is desperate for adult conversation when I get home at night, and sometimes I just want to sit in front of the TV."

The timing of the couple's second baby works well: "Our allotted leave for Melvin will finish just before the new baby is born. After, Anna and I will swap places again with another round of paid leave," says Henrik. The unmarried couple, who plan to wed "one day," will continue sharing responsibilities. "The system here is great for both sexes. Dads can watch their kids grow up, too," says Henrik.

This principle of equality extends to many other areas of life in Sweden. Women's sports are given as much TV airtime as men's, sometimes with higher ratings — 4 million Swedes watched the 2003 Women's World Cup soccer final. In shopping malls, Sweden's pay-to-pee public toilets are often unisex to minimize those infamously long lines for women's bathrooms (a minus: men still leave the seat up!). One Stockholm nightclub also tried unisex bathrooms, but quickly had to change them after staff discovered amorous couples getting hot-and-heavy in locked stalls. Then there are innovations such as the world's first "female-friendly car," unveiled in 2004 by Swedish auto giant Volvo. Created by an all-female lead team, the car is packed with woman-specific features: seats that auto-adjust to a female body shape, a special groove in the headrest for ponytails, and a high-heel rest near the foot pedals.

But for all the benefits, how sweet are Swedish women's lives, really? A glaring inequality persists in the wage gap — women earn 83 percent of the average male salary. And Amnesty International recently criticized Sweden for not doing enough to tackle domestic violence and discrimination against ethnic minorities.

Some Swedish feminists have even more complaints. A new female-run political party, Feminist Initiative, was launched in 2005 on such platforms as abolishing marriage laws — thereby granting any two (or three, or four!) people cohabiting the same rights as a husband and wife — and legally requiring fathers to take as much time off for child care as mothers. While the party was initially touted as "the way for women's future," its support plummeted after its convention several months ago, during which members sang a rowdy song about "chopping men to bits."

So is Sweden the ultimate sisterhood heaven? The verdict, of course, depends on your point of view: Japanese women live longer, American women earn higher salaries, Greek women have lower rates of breast cancer, and according to one poll, Italian men are better kissers. Overall, though, Swedish women seem happy with their lot. "I've traveled to many countries," says magazine editor Ebba. "But life in Sweden is truly special for women. There's nowhere else I'd rather live."


Monumental Soundbyte - 22



Lionel Richie & Diana Ross - Endless Love



Was there any doubt that this song would make it onto my list? This is one of the bestest songs ever....Most beautifullest love songs ever written and the delivery - top notch. Then again - we all know that Lionel Richie is an amazing song writer.



This song was written for the movie Endless love with Brooke Shields and turned into a phenomenon. Luther and Mariah covered this and as much as i love Luther, i think that Lionel's version is so much better.


I dont know what words to use in this post or what memories to dig up here (much too personal) but i will urge you to listen and appreciate the words to this simple but powerful song ...Enjoy!



I am going to be a goof ball and put something up on my voice thingy in the spirit of today's soundbyte....



I apologise to everyone who has asked for a song and hasnt gotten it....I have been mad busy but i will try to upload them today or tomorrow...





Friday, June 15, 2007

The Invasion


Lagos has been invaded by them
Everywhere i turn
They are there
Everywhere
Just everywhere
Sometimes they are a hazard
Sometimes they are just there
But an hour cannot go by in this town
Without an encounter with at least one of them
I am sure they can be shaded in all colors
But Lagos is particularly plagued by the blacks and greys
How did it come to this?
When did my city become suffocated by their presence?
If you happen to have one of these
And you go someplace
Trying to identify yours can be a major feat
Because there are guaranteed to be a thousand and one of them
That look exactly like yours
Lagos has been invaded by them
Everywhere i turn
They are there
Everywhere
Just everywhere
I am talking about TOYOTA COROLLAS
*LOL. I have no idea what and why i have done this but i guess i got my inspiration on the drive in to work this morning. Have a great weekend!*

Monumental Soundbyte - 21


Mary J Blige - Real Love *I blame my tired state for the earlier mistake....LOL*

Happy Friday! And i am so glad the weekend is here. I woke up this morning and sat on my bed for like 10mins just spaced out. Then i heaved a big sigh and started to get ready. LOL....

Anyway, this post will also handle the tribute to women for today. When i think of women that have worked hard, been through it all and have emerged stronger than ever, Mary is one of the women i think about.

This song has become a classic for our generation and i am sure a lot of people have a memory or something tied to this song. Its off her debut cd "What's the 411?" and was just massive back in the day. Its still a good party song with people beginning to bop their heads the moment the first bars come on.

Interestingly, as much as i am inspired my Mary's life story and i am really excited that she seems to have found her peace, i am not a huge fan of her musically. Sure there are some songs of hers that i like and seeing her perform interests me, its hard for me to listen to a Mary cd from start to finish. The Breakthrough and her Mary cd are the only cds that i can listen to over and over again.

Anyway, i wont take it away from her - she is one amazing lady.....Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave an email address in the comments section*

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Finally a meme


I am a self acclaimed meme whore and i havent found any to do lately so i am really excited about this one that i found on Laspapi's blog....so here goes:
The Sign of 7
7 people I must meet: Oprah Winfrey, Mohammed Yunus, Gary Dourdan (i just want to marry him..is all), Maya Angelou, Hilary Clinton, Shah Rukh Khan (tears will fall here) & Amitabh Bachchan (speechless and teary eyed uzo)
7 places I must visit: India (this year God willing), China, Thailand, Tahiti, Hong Kong, Seychelles (Next year God willing) &Aruba
7 films I can watch over and over again: The Lion King, Coming to America, Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire, Love Actually, The James Bond movies (they all count as one jare), Don (the new version with Shah Rukh Khan) & Chalte Chalte (with you guessed it Shah Rukh Khan)
7 best friends through childhood: Hard one...I will settle with the people i have known the longest - Wale E, Olawunmi A, Yuddie E, Osa A (used to be Osa L), Osa Baz, Mariam M &Emi S
7 All-time favourite singers: Luther Vandross, Joe, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Will Downing, Donnie McClurkin & Kirk Franklin
7 most influential people through the childhood years: My mom, My dad, Aunty Funke (my mom's sister), myself (well in a round about way, i influenced myself), Bolu (not childhood but definitely a huge influence and teacher of great lessons), NAT (sigh) and that's it
7 All-time TV programmes- Survivor, The Amazing Race, Friends, Sex & The City, Arrested Development, The Office (British & American) & The Oprah Winfrey Show
And i tag everyone reading this.....

Random - But Serious

  • My last trip to the movies with my friends was to see Pirates of the Carribean 3. Because we knew the movie would be sold out again, we got to the Galleria early. Too early as it turned out. So we bought our tickets and decided to have an early dinner at Barcelos. Well there we were gisting away when this beautiful woman came in with her 3 kids and a baby she was carrying wrapped in a white shawl. She was accompanied by another lady (i assume a friend) and they settled down to eat. Next thing i know, she is breastfeeding her baby. So my question is: Breastfeeding in public - yes or no?

  • Some men have had such a swell time over the years hurting so many women and the effects are frightening now. I am surrounded by women at work and in my personal life that are afraid to trust and have become truly jaded. Yesterday, i almost wept listening to 2 beautiful women that i work with - both engaged to be married saying things like "He definitely has to love me more than i love him", "I better protect my heart. Its better to not give my all now so that when he messes us, the hurting wont be so bad", "All men are all the same"...And on and on they went. I stepped in to say it wasnt right to think like that. That they were too young to feel this way but since i also know what they have been through, i can almost see where they are coming from. I am guilty of it too. I get a compliment and my first instinct is to think "Yeah right. You're lying. What do you want?". I process that in 30 seconds, then i smile and say thank you but i am now on the defensive waiting for the catch. How did we get here? And i know there are so so many women that are at this same place. I urge and i implore the women in my life to still believe in love, in gentlemen, in roses and candles even as i urge my heart to be free and relax some of the walls it has built around it. Then the other question comes - why do some men do this? I have a rather simplistic attitude to things. I go out on a date and i am not into you, i tell you. The thought of stringing you along as i date other people is not something i can ever do. Is it an Uzo thing? Or is it really true that men and women are different? Or is that simply an excuse for bad behaviour? Are women somewhat to blame for this nastiness in the sense that we expect men to act up so when they do, its almost a relief to be proven right? Is it really hard to be honest? In this world today, there are tons of women that wont mind being the chick on the side or sharing if the situation is laid bare - so why? Do men think that the women they use and hurt are people's daughters, sisters, friends and sometimes even mothers? I just wonder.....


Monumental Soundbyte - 20

Koffi Olomide - Loi

I have done a soundbyte on Koffi's Calvaire which i love but the reasons why Loi makes it to my monumental soundbyte list include:
  • It was the very first makossa song i ever heard. My music repertoire at that point revolved solely around R&B, Pop (based on whatever i saw on MTV & VHI), jazz (more Earl Klugh & Bob James courtesy of my dad) and Motown greats (again - my parents). I was in university in Buckingham which is a true United Nations school. We were preparing for the very first african night of our set (the 97 bunch)....
  • It reminds me of a great time in my life. It was Rahibu from Tanzania, Maureen from Kenya, Sherie from Malawi, Hauwa from Nigeria and a few others that decided to do an african dance. So Rahibu and Maureen agreed on this song and i was well - the watcher and holder of clothes as they practiced. In time, as the dance steps were learnt, i would stand in front of the stage doing the moves as well as the girls watched me to make sure they were getting stuff right. Sort of the honorary mirror. LOL. And the dance moves. The Nigerian girls in the bunch had to take time to watch and learn and even though they did a good job, it was nothing compared to the moves of the East African ladies. What? Rahibu was well endowed on the bottom and it was just amazing to watch her stand in one spot, her top half still and her waist doing things that i didnt even know bodies could do. My mouth would literally stay open when she started
  • So African Night came around and of course we had guests from all over London and i remember being part of the fashion show - in a Kanuri getup and a yoruba ensemble. Anyway, i digress. These ladies took to the stage and the cameras just started flashing and people screamed and screamed. After the girls were done, there was a chanting for Rahibu and she came back on stage and freestyled it and almost killed us all. I have pictures.

See why music is great? Everytime i hear this song, i have all these images from that time in my life and that memorable night. And of course, i think of each of the girls and then i think of all that happened while we were in school and afterwards....

Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave an email address in the comments section*



Wednesday, June 13, 2007

What in the world?

CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee (AP) -- Police in northwest Georgia have rescued a boy from a hot car where his mother's companion is accused of tying him up.

Ringgold, Georgia police say a Cracker Barrel restaurant employee called police after seeing Raymond Minchew take the 6-year-old out of the restaurant and return without him -- then finished eating his meal. Ringgold is 13 miles southeast of Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Police found the bound boy sitting in the car, crying.

Sgt. John Gass says the child was soaked with sweat and had a rope tied to one of his ankles. Gass says the temperature was in the 80s Saturday in Ringgold.

The 61-year-old Minchew and the boy's mother -- 35-year-old Rachel Gilchrist -- were arrested and charged with cruelty to children and concealing a weapon. There was a handgun in the car.

Investigators believe the boy was in the hot car for about a half hour.

Gass says the couple contended the boy had misbehaved, although witnesses at the restaurant disagreed.

The boy has been placed in protective custody.

Another rainy day....


I swear i am at my most unproductive in the rainy season. Its really dark here and its threatening to pour. Not just drizzle lightly but its going to come down and i find myself smiling and sighing deeply. And i catch myself thinking about the weirdest things:
  • How do you measure a woman's worth? Is it really wrong of me to be so judgemental about a lot of these near naked women that are parading the streets of Lagos now all in the name of fashion? Is it wrong for me to somehow believe that they are debasing and de-valuing themselves and womanhood by letting every single thing show? Sexy and sensual i understand but i am truly disturbed by this new trend..
  • As liberal and open as i am, i am still very much a traditional woman
  • Listening to Heather Headley's In my Mind and reminding myself of how much i like her voice
  • I want to be at home right now
  • Foot massage - who shall i convince to rub my feet?
  • What shall i do for my birthday?
  • *Sigh*
  • Love letters on victorian style stationary
  • My trousers are quite long - or am i really short?
  • OOOOH - Lyfe Jennings just came on singing Must be Nice and i want to sing out loud
  • I think its time to braid my hair again
  • Bring on the rain - more and more rain
  • I think i need help. I have a meeting in 10 mins but i think they will get stuck in traffic but that's not an excuse. Shouldnt i have printed out the MOU and stuff?
  • I am pretty
  • My phone hasnt rung all day. Is it working?

I need to stop this foolishness and try and get some work done. Help me!

A little something more

Please dont crucify me. I got this in an email and just had to share. (Its funny but so disturbing because this issue - is so serious and isnt going away anytime soon)

Exciting Job Opportunities in the Niger Delta

Our client, a Niger Delta Militant Group with branches in strategic locations throughout all the six South-South states of Nigeria is seeking to expand its operations to Abuja , the Federal Capital territory. This expansion has brought about vacancies for qualified and experienced young officers. The positions are:

Area Head, Kidnapping:
The successful applicant who will report to the Executive Council, and the Executive Director, Abuja , is expected to possess the following competencies:

1) Minimum of 10 years experience in militant agitation. (Membership of Al-qaeda, Hamas or other similar organisation will be an added advantage)

2) Fluent knowledge of Hausa, Ijaw, English, Italian and German

3) Expert ability to distinguish between Oyinbos and Albinos

4) Ability to swim in deep waters

5) Ability to recognise fake/marked naira notes by sight

6) Ability to easily recognise all Senators and Ministers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Evidence of previous successful kidnap of BIG MEN must be provided (pictures preferable)

Photographer:

1) Minimum of 5 years experience taking photos in war zones. (Domestic fights do not qualify as war zones for these purposes)

2) Proficiency in the use of explosives as camera lighting.

3) Knowledge of the different skin tones of expatriates, as an aid to taking high-quality pictures, is a must.

4) Proficiency in the use of Adobe Photoshop, and Internet photo uploading software is a must.

Please include a portfolio of previous photo-samples (must contain kidnapped persons OR be taken in war-zones OR be nightshots in blackspots like Oshodi, 3rd Mainland bridge, Apongbon, etc)

Militant Trainee:

1) Candidates must be between the ages of 13 and 50, be at least 4m tall, and may be male or female.

2) Minimum of Nursery School/Kindergarten certificate.

3) Jobless university graduates, and serving policemen will be given special consideration.

4) Possession of jungle boots and face mask is a must.

5) Preference will be given to persons with knowledge of foreign European languages, and persons with the ability to swim.

Renumeration:

Very attractive, competitive, and comparable with industry standards (payments in foreign currencies).

Official guns, boats and grenades will be provided. Excellent training, involving offshore secondment (Iraq, Afghanistan etc) from time to time

Regular appearance on CNN, Alaaroye, Time Magazine, The Economist and other International magazines.

Excellent networking opportunities with Nigerian politicians, oil magnates, and foreign businessmen.

Interested applicants should forward their applications and detailed curriculum militae within two weeks to:militant_recruitmen t@OsamaConsulting.com

Monumental Soundbyte - 19


Jimi Hendrix - Hey Joe
This is 1 of 2 Jimi Hendrix songs that will be featured on this series.
Where do i begin? I was turned on to Jimi Hendrix by N who happens to be petty decent with an electric guitar. He would fool around on his guitar so i assumed he was just a beginner. Then one night, he picked up his guitar and did a riff that blew me away. Then he said it was from this song. I had heard of Jimi Hendrix via a VH1 Behind the Music episode but his music was alien to me. That night, N dug up his Jimi Hendrix albums and played a few of his favorites and that's when i fell in love with this song.
I understand that this song doesnt actually belong to Jimi Hendrix but his cover of it is by far the most popular. This is one of those songs that tells a story and it revolves around Joe who's killed his wife and is on the run. The beauty of the song for me is the sheer genius of Jimi Hendrix. His voice is gritty and unconventional but what he does with his guitar sends chills up and down my spine every time.
I dont want to dwell on the tragic and conflicting stories about the way his life ended at 27. I dont even know what to categorize his music as - its just rich. And he taught himself to play and like me, he was ambidextrous (using his left hand more). And Jimi was a performer.....These young cats are just learning. Jimi would spin his guitar and play it upside down, use is teeth to play and even play behind his back. Add the afro and those sultry eyes and he was just beyond compare.
I dare say that no-one can be called a true music lover if knowledge of certain artists and their work is absent and Jimi Hendrix is essential to that list. So enjoy!
*If you would like this song, leave an email address in the comments section*

Monday, June 11, 2007

Repost - One of those days

I love rain. I love when it rains. I just cant seem to stop smiling...So its raining now and i had to put up this re-post


Its raining. Its pouring. And Uzo is having one of those days. Where my thoughts are filled with images:

An image of me in my disney pyjamas and my betty boop slippers. Sitting on my bed. Watching movies of my choice

An image of me in my pyjamas, with my footies all warm in woolly socks and cuddled up with some pillows and sleeping the day away

An image of me lying on my bed with the curtain open and watching the rain as i listen to Luther do his thing

An image of me cuddled up with him, talking or saying nothing

An image of me hidden under the covers with the phone tucked against my ear, with my eyes closed listening to the sound of his voice. Feeling his words wash over me and feed my soul

Its raining. Its pouring. Cant do any work. Cant stop smiling. Its one of those days.