Tuesday, October 31, 2006

My song of the Day!

I am a hopeless romantic. Believer in possibilities. I love love. I am a matchmaker, fixer-up, wedding planner, proposal planner, ring purchaser....I love love.

This song ranks on my list of top proposal songs:

Ruff Endz - Will you be mine

There are no words to express how i feel whenever i hear this song. The intensity of emotion in the delivery of the lyrics. Priceless. The chorus goes like this:

Will you be mine on this day/ Will you be the sunshine in May/ Will you be the stars in my night/ Will you be the joy of my life/ Will you be my everything/ Will you be the happy song i sing/ Will you be the love i cant deny/ Will you be the love of all time/ Will you be mine

I tell myself that God will have given me the ultimate gift, the day that someone expresses sentiments like this about me. A lot of the time, we want to inspire feeling in others. In my case, i am a giver..too much so sometimes. So I in turn want to be able to look at him and be weak in the knees. To feel short of breath everytime he smiles at me. I want to feel like the words of this song as much as i want to be the object of his affection.

I confuse myself....I am such a traditional woman at heart but also very much a modern one. Make sense?

Anyway, this is the song that has been playing in my ear over and over. Click on the player to hear the song.

*Let me know if you would like this song*


When i got home last night, my dad had company and i joined in for a quick chat. Out of that came some feedback on the cause of the fatal ADC plane crash:

The pilot was told by the control tower to wait a few minutes on the runway. Was told that even though he was clear to take off, there were strong winds that would hit a few minutes into the flight. This conversation was heard by pilots in Virgin Nigeria and AeroContractor planes that were queued behind the ADC plane awaiting clearance for take-off. The pilot said he could maneuver his way around it. He took off and made a right bank to face Sokoto when the winds in question hit the plane and literally slammed the plane to the ground. This was especially made worse by the fact that the plane hadnt reached cruising altitude and hadnt even straightened out after take-off.

Now, the sources of this information are active in the aviation sector and are actually heads of some agencies in that sector. One of the survivors - a female youth corper was thrown clear out of the plane and was completely unscathed.

The lack of emergency response made helping the injured woeful. The head of Nigeria's fire service was spewing fire. He was sooo mad. He said to reporters that it was dismal that since the colonialists handed Nigeria back to us, the fire service has remained the same. He said absolutely nothing meaningful has been done and apparently his portfolio is deemed inconsequential in comparison to other matters of state.

I wonder what Obasanjo is thinking. The superstitious part of me thinks God is sending the man a sign. In his presidency, he lost his wife, 3 major airlines have crashed, one crash containing military personnel, several near incidents. On the other hand, i have to wonder if EFCC, 3rd term bids, impeachment support, fights with his vice president, frustrating the finance minister out of office, missing funds from the oil and NNPC accounts are the things that a sitting president of MY BELOVED NIGERIA should be worrying about?

Considering the fact that there is so much travel in Nigeria that supports businesses, transports expatriates bringing in business, supports the private sector, you would think that this area would be of top priority. The roads are death traps, highway robbery is rampant and now the airline sector is torpedoing.

The head of one of the agencies that's a family friend now has armed security guards and a bulletproof vehicle because his proposed changes met with threats from all angles including some people in the private sector benefitting from the shoddy way things are done right now. Even attempts to re-certify pilots and give new guidelines for the qualification of the pilots met with so much resistance. We cry about using local personnel but then some of them have shoddy qualifications. Bringing in foreigners is well and good but people dont want to pay them what they are worth opting instead to go with cheaper options.

One can go round and round about all the issues surrounding this crash and the general state of things in Nigeria. What are the answers? People in my generation that should be making a difference in one way or another dont care. Some of them are abroad and have absolutely no intention of coming home. Some of them back home while being successful are content to make their money and party with the best of them and be trendy and date and marry the beautiful people without making a contribution that matters. The ones that are interested in making a change lose faith when faced with the utter corruption and game playing that goes on in the corridors of power.

Looking to God is the solution but even that is rife with corruption and exploitation. When some "men of God" ride around in bulletproof convoys of exotic guards complete with armed guards (what are they afraid of?), others declare themselves "Jesus Christ" and take to burning congregation members for alleged sins such as refusing to sleep with them (Nigeria's Reverend King who is on trial right now), one has to wonder if God hasnt turned away from this country. When some so-called christians (especially christians) are the biggest hypocrites that exist. Considering the number of churches, traditional healers, house fellowships, juju men, mosques that exist in this country, one would think we would have become the next chosen country. I believe in one God for all faiths but for those that dont believe, one would think that any of the ultimate beings including those gods consulted by the juju men would have manifested by now.

Which way Nigeria?

Monday, October 30, 2006

My song of the day!

Today, i am holding on to my faith and to God more than ever. To keep me stable, to give me strength, to give me peace and take me back to being centered. So my song today is one that i love and that reaffirms my spirit everytime i hear it:

Fred Hammond - You are the living word.

This song really says it all.

*Let me know if you would like this song*

Broken Threads

It has been a very emotional weekend for me.

On Friday after blogging and working, i was looking forward to the weekend so much. Then my friend E came online. She is one of my best friends and we have been close since England and then she moved to Atlanta and we hung out all the time. My move to Chicago and back to Lagos didnt change things. By virtue of this relationship, i met her parents many times and her siblings became mine. This girl - young woman is so beautiful and precious to me. Work in Lagos made our phone calls reduce but we always chatted on line and exchanged emails and we would just take it from wherever we left of.

She came online and i was soooo excited and ready to play catch up when she typed "Uzo, i lost my mom". My reaction was one of shock. What did she mean? With shaking fingers, i typed and typed and she told me her mom died. I just started to cry. I knew i had to make that call. To talk to her and reach out to her. See E is one very strong chick. She makes fun of how much of a softie i am. I cry at everything and i can honestly say in all the years that i have known her, i have never seen her cry.

When she picked up the phone, i could hear and feel her pain. I was trying hard not to cry so i wouldnt upset her more. As the details of her loss came out, i could only listen. Wishing i was there with her. To hug her and pray with her. Just to be there. When i asked when she was coming home, she said next month after all arrangements have been made. I asked how she was doing..She said she had cried and cried but she had to be strong for her siblings. See E is the 3rd of 6 kids and the first girl. She has always been the mother hen so at this time of loss, everyone including her dad is looking to her for strength. She said she couldnt believe that her siblings were making plans to buy a casket for her mother. She said to me: i cant belive i dont have a mom anymore. We hung up and i just cried and cried. I was heartbroken for her family. For her. I knew her mom and she was sooo vibrant and fulland was truly the matriach of their family. I cant really explain how much pain i felt, as i cried, i couldnt breathe. I was simply overwhelmed by sadness.

And it was with this heaviness in my heart, that i called my mom. She is in the States with my sisters and i havent seen her in a month. Immediately she heard my voice, she asked what was wrong and i just started to cry as i told her. She knew E as well but had never met her mother. My mother was quiet as i cried and cried and she said all the right things about God and faith and strength. She said i had to be strong for her seeing as i am determined to be by her side when she comes back. As i cried, i told my mom over and over that i loved her and that every time we fought..i was sorry for always getting mad at her, for fighting with her, for not talking to her sometimes. She laughed and said we would be back at it once she got back but that it was all about love.

I couldnt stop crying. When i calmed down some, i tried to call L and since he's out of the country, i couldnt reach him. As much of a daddy's girl i am, i couldnt call my dad. This was not his forte, and i didnt feel like he would truly understand how i felt...since i couldnt even put it into words. Besides he was out of town as well. I called my other friend O, and he picked up immediately that i was off kilter. He asked if i had a cold. In his way, he made me feel better by not talking about the loss but about mundane silly things. I managed a giggle or 2 and i hung up. I was still lost.

This weekend, i spent talking to E, journaling and being alone. Then on Sunday, the news about the plane crash. More loss. Added to the fact that my dad was in Abuja and my phone was ringing off the hook. People calling to ask where my dad was. See, my dad was in Abuja and went to Kano and Thursday and was back in Abuja on Friday. People close to us know that my dad travels quite a bit. More of a scare. Its Monday morning and he just called to say he is at the Abuja airport, on his way back. And i am scared. I am sure it will be well but its hard to explain.

I have always known this but this weekend reminded me harshly that life is not to be taken for granted. What's the use of saving things for that special day when we might be gone in the next instance? Why should we fuss and fight with our loved ones over the silliest things? Even if the fights are justified, make peace. Point out what hurt and move on. Holding grudges...So not worth it. Tell your loved ones and show them how much they mean to you. And if you are in a position of responsibility, then begin to prepare to take care of the ones that depend on you. So many stories of widows left with nothing. Not knowing about their husband's affairs, acocunts and relatives swooping in to sow where they did not reap.

Life can deal several hands and while we cant control things, we can aim to make things right while we are still here.

Friday, October 27, 2006

My Song of the Day!

Its Friday and i am ecstatic. Another lovely weekend of rest and relaxation and lots of TV. I will make the effort to see other human beings and try to socialize this weekend. So since i am in a very upbeat mood, my song of the day which i am listening to right now by the way reflects this:

Chamillionaire - Ridin'

Now, hip hop and I dont get along very much. I recognise the songs and the artists and even derive some sick pleasure from the videos but i wouldnt rush to the music store to pick up a Ludacris CD. A song here and there sure..

This song however, is soooo great. Its hot, the beats are tight and its sounds great in my car plus Krayzie Bone from Bone, Thugs 'n' Harmony is on the track. I heard a rumour that Chamillionaire is a Nigerian actually called Hakeem who lives in Texas...Fact or fiction? Now i am very diplomatic but the first time i saw the video for this song, i swore. Chamillionaire: well he is not very aesthetically pleasing to the eyes and frankly is a little scary. He He He.

*Let me know if you would like this song*

Women's Issue - Female Genital Mutilation

"Of course I shall have them circumcised exactly as their parents, grandparents and sisters were circumcised. This is our custom."An Egyptian woman, talking about her young daughters

"We are circumcised and insist on circumcising our daughters so that there is no mixing between male and female... An uncircumcised woman is put to shame by her husband, who calls her 'you with the clitoris'. People say she is like a man. Her organ would prick the man..."An Egyptian woman

"Circumcision makes women clean, promotes virginity and chastity and guards young girls from sexual frustration by deadening their sexual appetite."Mrs Njeri, a defender of female genital mutilation in Kenya

Female genital mutilation (FGM) is the term used to refer to the removal of part, or all, of the female genitalia. The most severe form of FGM is known as pharaonic circumcision or infibulation. The procedure consists of clitoridectomy (where all, or part of, the clitoris is removed), excision (removal of all, or part of, the labia minora), and cutting of the labia majora to create raw surfaces, which are then stitched or held together in order to form a cover over the vagina when they heal. A small hole is left to allow urine and menstrual blood to escape. In some less conventional forms of infibulation, less tissue is removed and a larger opening is left.
85% of genital mutilations performed in Africa consists on clitoridectomy or excision. The procedure most commonly occurs in girls between the ages of 4 and 8. An estimated 135 million of the world's girls and women have undergone genital mutilation and 2 million girls a year are at risk of mutilation - approximately 6,000 a day. It is practiced extensively in Africa and is common in some countries in the Middle East. It also occurs mainly among immigrant communities in parts of Asia and the pacific, North & Latin America and Europe.

The effects of genital mutilation can lead to death. At the time the mutilation is carried out, pain, shock, haemorrhage and damage to the organs surrounding the clitoris and labia can occur. Afterwards urine may be retained and serious infection develop. Use of the same instrument on several girls without sterilization can cause the spread of HIV. More commonly, the chronic infections, intermittent bleeding, abscesses and small benign tumours of the nerve which can result from clitoridectomy and excision cause discomfort and extreme pain. Infibulation can have even more serious long-term effects: chronic urinary tract infections, stones in the bladder and urethra, kidney damage, reproductive tract infections resulting from obstructed menstrual flow, pelvic infections, infertility, excessive scar tissue, keloids (raised, irregularly shaped, progressively enlarging scars) and dermoid cysts.

First sexual intercourse can only take place after gradual and painful dilation of the opening left after mutilation. In some cases, cutting is necessary before intercourse can take place. In one study carried out in Sudan, 15% of women interviewed reported that cutting was necessary before penetration could be achieved. Some new wives are seriously damaged by unskilful cutting carried out by their husbands. A possible additional problem resulting from all types of female genital mutilation is that lasting damage to the genital area can increase the risk of HIV transmission during intercourse. During childbirth, existing scar tissue on excised women may tear. Infibulated women, whose genitals have been tightly closed, have to be cut to allow the baby to emerge. If no attendant is present to do this, perineal tears or obstructed labour can occur. After giving birth, women are often reinfibulated to make them "tight" for their husbands. The constant cutting and restitching of a women's genitals with each birth can result in tough scar tissue in the genital area.

Genital mutilation can make first intercourse an ordeal for women. It can be extremely painful, and even dangerous, if the woman has to be cut open; for some women, intercourse remains painful. Even where this is not the case, the importance of the clitoris in experiencing sexual pleasure and orgasm suggests that mutilation involving partial or complete clitoridectomy would adversely affect sexual fulfilment. Clinical considerations and the majority of studies on women's enjoyment of sex suggest that genital mutilation does impair a women's enjoyment. However, one study found that 90% of the infibulated women interviewed reported experiencing orgasm.

The mechanisms involved in sexual enjoyment and orgasm are still not fully understood, but it is thought that compensatory processes, some of them psychological, may mitigate some of the effects of removal of the clitoris and other sensitive parts of the genitals.

Custom and tradition are by far the most frequently cited reasons for FGM. Along with other physical or behavioural characteristics, FGM defines who is in the group. This is most obvious where mutilation is carried out as part of the initiation into adulthood. Jomo Kenyatta, the late President of Kenya, argued that FGM was inherent in the initiation which is in itself an essential part of being Kikuyu, to such an extent that "abolition... will destroy the tribal system". A study in Sierra Leone reported a similar feeling about the social and political cohesion promoted by the Bundo and Sande secret societies, who carry out initiation mutilations and teaching. Many people in FGM-practising societies, especially traditional rural communities, regard FGM as so normal that they cannot imagine a woman who has not undergone mutilation. Others are quoted as saying that only outsiders or foreigners are not genitally mutilated. A girl cannot be considered an adult in a FGM-practising society unless she has undergone FGM.

FGM is often deemed necessary in order for a girl to be considered a complete woman, and the practice marks the divergence of the sexes in terms of their future roles in life and marriage.The removal of the clitoris and labia ' viewed by some as the "male parts" of a woman's body ' is thought to enhance the girl's femininity, often synonymous with docility and obedience.It is possible that the trauma of mutilation may have this effect on a girl's personality. If mutilation is part of an initiation rite, then it is accompanied by explicit teaching about the woman's role in her society.

In many societies, an important reason given for FGM is the belief that it reduces a woman's desire for sex, therefore reducing the chance of sex outside marriage. The ability of unmutilated women to be faithful through their own choice is doubted. In many FGM-practising societies, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, for a woman to marry if she has not undergone mutilation. In the case of infibulation, a woman is "sewn up" and "opened" only for her husband. Societies that practise infibulation are strongly patriarchal. Preventing women from indulging in "illegitimate" sex, and protecting them from unwilling sexual relations, are vital because the honour of the whole family is seen to be dependent on it. Infibulation does not, however, provide a guarantee against "illegitimate" sex, as a woman can be "opened" and "closed" again. In some cultures, enhancement of the man's sexual pleasure is a reason cited for mutilation. Anecdotal accounts, however, suggest that men prefer unmutilated women as sexual partners.

Cleanliness and hygiene feature consistently as justifications for FGM. Popular terms for mutilation are synonymous with purification (tahara in Egypt, tahur in Sudan), or cleansing (sili-ji among the Bambarra, an ethnic group in Mali). In some FGM-practising societies, unmutilated women are regarded as unclean and are not allowed to handle food and water.

Connected with this is the perception in FGM-practising communities that women's unmutilated genitals are ugly and bulky. In some cultures, there is a belief that a woman's genitals can grow and become unwieldy, hanging down between her legs, unless the clitoris is excised. Some groups believe that a woman's clitoris is dangerous and that if it touches a man's penis he will die. Others believe that if the baby's head touches the clitoris during childbirth, the baby will die. Ideas about the health benefits of FGM are not unique to Africa.

In 19th Century England, there were debates as to whether clitoridectomy could cure women of "illnesses" such as hysteria and "excessive" masturbation. Clitoridectomy continued to be practised for these reasons until well into this century in the USA. However, health benefits are not the most frequently cited reason for mutilation in societies where it is still practised; where they are, it is more likely to be because mutilation is part of an initiation where women are taught to be strong and uncomplaining about illness. Some societies where FGM is practised believe that it enhances fertility, the more extreme believing that an unmutilated woman cannot conceive. In some cultures it is believed that clitoridectomy makes childbirth safer.FGM predates Islam and is not practised by the majority of Muslims, but has acquired a religious dimension. Where it is practised by Muslims, religion is frequently cited as a reason.

Many of those who oppose mutilation deny that there is any link between the practise and religion, but Islamic leaders are not unanimous on the subject. The Qur'an does not contain any call for FGM, but a few hadith (sayings attributed to the Prophet Muhammad) refer to it. In one case, in answer to a question put to him by 'Um 'Attiyah (a practitioner of FGM), the Prophet is quoted as saying "reduce but do not destroy". Mutilation has persisted among some converts to Christianity. Christian missionaries have tried to discourage the practice, but found it to be too deep rooted. In some cases, in order to keep converts, they have ignored and even condoned the practice. FGM was practised by the minority Ethiopian Jewish community (Beta Israel), formerly known as Falasha, a derogatory term, most of whom now live in Israel, but it is not known if the practise has persisted following their emigration to Israel. The remainder of the FGM-practising community follow traditional Animist religions.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Repost - A Word of Warning

4 blogs in a day? I am so sorry but i think i missed blogging.....

My weekend was packed with so much activity that i only got 5 hours of sleep the whole weekend. And before anyone gets excited at the thought that i finally got buck wild, it was actually a work thing.

Finally got home and got a phone call from my girlfriend who had her baby last week. Our conversation revolved around the baby and how beautiful she is and how she feels so much love for the baby that she thinks she will burst. How nice and touching!

Of course i am so excited and happy for her but a pretty interesting fact came out of the conversation. Me being me, i cut right to the chase of the matter and asked her what the pain was like. How many hours was she in labor, what did it feel like, did she get an epidural, do those breathing exercises work and did she feel all that love for her husband while the contractions were ripping her body almost in two. Yes people - these burning questions had to be answered.

Her answers: the pain is excruciating but when you hold that baby in your arms, you forget all about it (funny how they always say that . I imagine that the pain associated with squeezing a whole person out of you will not be so easily forgotten...), after months of swearing she would go natural, she almost paged the anaesthesiologist herself in her hurry to get the epidural, the breathing exercises do not work (she didnt even remember a thing) and her husband was great.
You know how modern day women swear up and down that the husband has to be in the delivery room and watch the birth of the baby. My friend says she was saved from a frigid and weird marriage by her friends and a Nigerian nurse that helped her delivery. She wanted her husband to watch the baby ACTUALLY being born if you catch my drift. Apparently that is such a bad thing. .

Here's the deal, the husband/partner has to be confined to the head of the bed. He must only hold your hand and see your face. Apparently, actually watching the baby being born is such a traumatizing experience and sight to behold. While husband/partner should be grateful and filled with love that u helped bring the carrier of his family name into the world, if you want the baby to have any siblings, he needs to stay away from the birth zone. Apparently, most men have a hard time seeing wives/partners as sexy and hot after watching all that activity down there.

She said this and while i thought it was finny, i wasnt sure if i bought it. So i promptly called 3 married men that happen to be my friends and have kids. Asked what they thought. And THEY all agreed. 2 of them were advised by their own friends to stay away from that area and they gladly complied. (I mean, forget all the romantic stuff, who really wants to see a whole little person complete with hands, feet and everything, being squeezed out of your beloved one. Its painful for all involved. Plus men are squeamish....its not exactly a neat experience) . The last guy said he actually saw the baby being born. He blames the people in the delivery room in Boston who even tried to make him record the actual moment of the birth (yeah, like he was going to have a viewing party with popcorn and have the whole world watch that). He said it took him such a long time to get over it. He kept seeing it over and over and for a few months, everytime he looked at her, he just saw that and could not muster any passion. LOL. . I laughed so hard and i even spoke with his wife who laughed with us but said if she had known, she would have made him stay away from that area.

Moral of this story: Men in the delivery room should be kept away from the action area. A word is enough for the wise.

Oh the joys of "24"

I am becoming anti-social thanks to my friend that plied me with DVDs....i think i blogged about it somewhere. Well he has added Prison Break Season 1 & 2, Scrubs Season 1 - 3 and Sex and the City Season 2 to the list.

Thanks to all my movies, this long public holiday had me shelving any plans of going anywhere meaningful. I made it to my friend's wedding on Saturday and met up with old friends and cried some. It was so beautiful. My friend the groom danced with his mom and the bride danced with her dad to Bette Midler's "Wind beneath my wings" and we were all bawling and sniffling like fools.

But that was it. Sure i went to get my nails done, worked out and did stuff but i rushed back home to settle down in front of my TV to watch Bond movies, Friends Season 2 & 3, 24 Season 1 and half of Season 2, Dhadkhan (Hindi), Kuch Na Kaho (Hindi) and Zoolander.

My phone rang and the conversation went something like this:

Uzo: Hello?
M: Hey stranger..How r u?
Uzo: Oh i am fine....how are u?
M: M fine. Look a couple of us are on the Mainland and we were wondering if you could meet us at...... to catch up and stuff
Uzo: Uhmmmmmmmmm....
M: Look, we dont see you and you could have gotten married for all we know so we sooo have to catch up. Plenty of gist.
Uzo: Uhmmmmmm. I have a better idea. Why dont you come over to my place instead?
M: Eh?
Uzo: Well i have food in my house. We can catch up here. I dont feel like dressing up to go anywhere. Besides, i am in the middle of Season 1 of "24" and Jack Bauer is on his way to find his wife Terry and Kim and it doesnt seem like he will make it in time and after i finish Season 1 of "24" i still have to finish Season 3 of Friends and...
M: Uzo are you alright?
Uzo: Uhmmmmmmmmm

M: I think you have gone mad girl....
Uzo: Uhmmmmm. So are you guys coming over here?

LOL. True story.

So i watch 24 every now and again. Its just really hard to catch these shows because of work. So i settled down and started. Please...can someone tell me why i never thought Kiefer Sutherland was hot? As Jack Bauer, he just oozes sex appeal, and power, and rebellion and control and...
Talk about acting. He is just bad in a good way. Love him. Dennis Haysbert as President Palmer..oh wow. Tall and dark and passionate. And am i the only one that wanted to reach through my TV and smack his wife/ex wife Sherry from here to heaven and back?

But i learnt something about myself as well. I am attracted to bad boys. Well men that are bad and seem so mean but in my mind, they will only show that sweet loving side of themselves to only me. Case in point, Jack Bauer. Sure he kills people. But he would love me and say sweetheart over and over and be sweet and tender just to me.

How about Gary Dourdan's character Warren in CSI? Warren is flawed. He is cocky and has a gambling problem. But nooooooo. I love him. I love the fact that he is macho and professional and hard at work but i imagine him being the opposite with me. Even his character in the movie "Trois". Sure he wanted the 3some. But he loved his wife dammit.

I am attracted to Wesley Snipes because even when he is a good guy (Blade) or in the many roles as a cop/secret service agent, he pushes boundaries and isnt on the straight and narrow.

Hindi Movies: I fell in love with the actor Sunil Shetty in the movie "Main Hoon Na". Sure he was a terrorist and killed people. But he oozed power and control and was sooo good at being bad, that i just wanted to be alone with him and just bring out the tender side of him

The Last of the Mohicans: Daniel Day Lewis as Hawkeye. He was rough and tough and killed but he was sooo sweet and tender. When he uttered those words "I will find you". I cried and cried.

Pierce Brosnan as Thomas Crown : He was a thief and cunning but it was utter bliss watching him...

See my point. Am i normal at all?

Point of this post: I love 24, i have become anti-social, i love bad boys, i love Tv.

This is just so depressing. I am going out tonight after work. What nonsense. To be a prisoner to DVDs of Tv Shows.

In Love with a Man

I spent most of my weekend in the company of one of my favorite men. I love this man. With no reservations and with all of my heart.

Why do i love him so? I know he is flawed but i cant help myself. He is an older man - he is in his early 40's i think. He is a bit of a mad hatter really. He loves adventure and is constantly doing things like bungee jumping off bridges and flying helicopters. He can do that kind of stuff though since he is in excellent shape. He can run and run. He handles guns a lot which scare me but he can take care of himself.What a man

His smile and swagger have me swooning. His sense of humor. He is corny as hell but with him, its okay. I love it and laugh so often when i am in his company. He loves gadgets like most men. But he just takes his to another level. He makes enough money and his company supplies him with the oddest things and i delight in his use of them. If i try to use any of his toys, i am sure i would end up looking like a damn fool but he makes it look so easy. His cars. This man is a car expert but he gets into wrecks so much. Once again, his company supplies the cars so he doesnt have much to worry about.

His love life. He was married once but sadly she died many years ago. Since then, he seems unable and unwilling to settle down. I am one of his many friends. His lovers come in all colors, shapes and sizes. He is what i like to call an equal opportunity lover. I hear he is a stud in bed. He does have a love them and leave them reputation so he does all he can to avoid running into any of his loves. I should know better, but i would love to have the pleasure of being one of his girls. Okay just one kiss and having him escort me to a public function would be my fantasy. People would be green with envy. This man is one very handsome son of a gun.

I have known him since i was a little girl but as i have gotten older, i appreciate him better. Appreciate his jokes and sexual innuendos. He goes through a change every couple of years and sometimes i like him better than at other times but i wouldnt trade him for the world. When i am feeling down, i lose myself in his presence and forget all my worries. When people criticize him, i get incensed and the critics go down several notches in my book. To not love this man means there is no room for you in my world.

He loves the finer things in life and when he drinks, he has 2 specialties:

Who is this man? His name is Bond! James Bond!

I love James Bond. I am not very happy with Daniel Craig as the newest choice. I mean he is blond (so they said they would darken his hair) and he already lost some teeth during the shooting of Casino Royale. James Bond is superman. He does not lose teeth. He defuses nuclear weapons and jumps off bridges and is not bothered by such minor things as injuries.

My favorite Bond of all time is Sean Connery followed very closely by Timothy Dalton. Lots of people dont like Timothy Dalton's Bond years but this is my blog and i love him. Shoot me. I watched 6 Bond movies this weekend. My dad has the entire collection and i just have 7 movies or so. I kept meaning to get them all. There was a time when the entire box set on DVD was a hundred pounds. At the time, that was a lot of money for me. So for all those that love me and want me to be happy *big hint here*, i would like the complete James Bond collection.

Who is your favorite James Bond?

My Song of the Day!

The public holiday here has thrown me off balance completely. Just got back to work yesterday and i am absolutely swamped. I will be updating my blog in a few hours but i absolutely have to do the song of the day since i am listening to it right now.

Candy by Cameo.

I absolutely love this song. Anyone seen the movie "The Best Man"? The closing scene at the reception with everyone dancing - doing the electric slide...Well this is that song. I am a massive Cameo fan. They were actually in Nigeria a few months back and they still rocked.

Does anyone remember the video for this song? My main man - the lead singer was wearing a red "piant" like thing over his trousers. Oh my word....Hilarious but the song is sooooo hot. Definitely one of my favorites.

*Let me know if you would like this song*

Friday, October 20, 2006

My Song of the Day

Its Friday and there's a public holiday on Monday so i am bursting with excitement. Its the little things people....LOL

Okay i am profiling a Nigerian artist that i have the pleasure of knowing. Now he is one very creative man and has achieved cross over success. He has a place in Opebi where he performs every last Friday of the month and his last single is a huge hit. Yup..Its Lagbaja.

His song "So far away" is good no doubt but my favorite song on his latest cd is "Aisan" and that is my song for today. That song is jazzy, bluesy, so Lagbaja but at the same time, so not. Its soothing and complex but so simple too. I love this song soooo much and it captures how i feel today: mellow, beautiful, special and at peace.

*Let me know if you would like this song*

Women's Issue - VVF

VVF (Vesicovaginal Fistula) is a condition that occurs when there is an abnormal tract extending between the bladder and the vagina that allows the continuous involuntary discharge of urine into the vaginal vault.

The earliest evidence of VVF was found in 1923 on the mummified body of Queen Henhenit (2050 BC). So this is nothing new. This condition has been eradicated in virtually every country except in some African countries including Nigeria.

I first learned about VVF while studying for my law degree. One of my favourite courses was "Sex and Gender in the Legal Process" which was taught by the fabulous renowned Dr Susan Edwards - she actually wrote THE book that was assigned course reading. I was horrified and saddened but quickly forgot all about it in those years of parting and fun.

A few years ago, while watching The Oprah Winfrey Show, tribute was paid to an "angel" - Dr Catherine Hamlin who with her late husband dedicated over 50 years of her life to the young sufferers of VVF disorder in Ethiopia. I could not be still. I threw myself into finding out as much information as i could about this condition and knew that i wanted to help in some way. I satisfied myself somewhat with regular cash contributions to The Fistula Trust - her organization.

When i moved home, while going through a magazine, i came across an article that tugged at my heart strings. Here in Nigeria, the Ahmadu Bello University Teaching Hospital has taken an active role in treating sufferers of the VVF disorder. In that article, i read that the financial cost of repairing a fistula is N1,500 for a minor case and can go up to N5,000 for a more serious case. I thought that sounded easy enough.

So i called the number at the end of the article and spoke the media officer of the hospital. I was stunned when she told me that majority of the women that came to the hospital were unable to raise this sum - the equivalent of $10 - $35. That's money that i can play with on a daily basis taking care of airtime, petrol, lunch - silly stuff in comparison to this.
She told me about the emotional trauma suffered by these young women (some as young as 11). Women forced into early marriages with men old enough to be their fathers. The loss of the babies since their young hips are not ripe for childbearing - the ensuing trauma of labor is too much for the infants and most are born stillborn. These women now have to bury their babies and face the humiliation of carrying a catheter bab (for the lucky ones), dealing with the ensuing odour which leads to banishment from the family hut/compund. The husbands return these women to their families who turn around and abandon them for ruining the family name and bringing shame to them. It goes on and on.

The lucky ones find their way to ABUTH, the others resign themselves to a life of ostracization and humiliation in a solitary hut away from friends and family. Condemned to be branded as outcasts. ABUTH doesnt only fix their physical wounds. Before each woman leaves the hospital, she gets a brand new set of clothes and slippers. To signify a fresh start and help them walk out of the hospital with their heads held high.

Needless to say, i am doing what i can to pay for the treatment of some of these young women as often as i can. As i write each check, i am reminded of how lucky i am. How lucky my sisters are. To have enlightenment, education, exposure, the means to help these women.

Contributions can be made to The Fistula Trust. I have found out that there are other organizations dedicated to VVF which pleases me to no end. This is another interesting article on the subject with special attention paid to Nigeria.

Here's to the young women who have to endure this, those who have had their wounds repaired. The battle for self esteem, confidence and the gradual induction back to their communities will perhaps prove to be harder to accomplish than the minor surgical procedure that "fixed" them.

Nigeria, Conservation and Tunde

This is one of the funniest things i have heard. I am not sure if its fact or an urban legend but here goes:

An older friend told me last night that in Lagos, a conservation park was established a few years ago. I believe its really close to Chevron in Lekki. Anyway, a huge media blitz followed especially around the introduction of the first and only inhabitant, an antelope called Tunde. Not sure why that name was chosen but i think its safe to say the antelope was a buck. The conservation agency and a whole bunch of expatriates and bored housewives interested in this type of charity got really excited and went on and on about how Nigeria was changing and beginning to care about nature - la di da.

A few days later, a shocking piece appeared in the news. Tunde was dead. Not of natural causes, but he was murdered. Not to worry! Fear not my fellow Lagosians, the culprit had been apprehended as well. Who would have dared to do something so dastardly? Who would have the sophistication and know-how to get past the clever and tight security in place to guard Tunde and the plants with the interesting latin names? Who could be so cruel?

The culprit in custody was a hunter. According to him, he did not understand why everyone was making such a huge fuss over some bushmeat. He said this was food for his family and that he was thinking he could sell parts of Tunde as well. He did the whole Mission Impossible routine and scaled through all the security in place.

The end of Tunde.

Is this true? Who knows as i wasnt in the country at the time. Its a good story though and it had me in stitches last night. Gosh i love this country.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Repost - Unfulfilled Fantasies

Have you ever met someone perfect for you? The vibe between you is great. You can't stop talking to each other. The chemistry is there. He laughs when you talk and he really listens to you. He is tall enough for you, cute enough for you...perfect for you. Bam!!! He's getting married and definitely not to you. Isn't life something. So you laugh it off and you both say how weird it is that you just met and you let it go. You know that should be the end of it so you say to yourself, well we get along great..so we can hang out and talk . No big deal. Afterall nothing is going to happen.

Yeah nothing happens except for the fact your brain goes to mush and all you can think about is him. As the wedding day looms closer, some very lucky woman is getting all the last minute details of her dream day ready while you are praying for something to happen. You don't know what but something like....maybe he declares his undying love for you and realises that he cannot live without you and calls off his wedding and you both live happily ever after. Or maybe she decides she is about to make the biggest mistake of her life and then she cancels the wedding which will bode well for you since you won't have that on your conscience but the ending is the same - you ride off into the sunset on his white horse and live happily ever after.

Nope! Does not happen. You try to snap yourself out of it by telling yourself he's just having a last minute sort of fling (cant really call it a fling since nothing actually happens), or maybe you are a challenge, or maybe you dont really like him, its just the fact that he is unavailable since you have issues anyway. All that.

Then its D-Day. You wake up with a sinking feeling but drag yourself to your kickboxing class and this time when the 1 hour is over, you tell Sergeant Joe you will pay him extra for another 30 minute session of pure punishment. Bring on the pain. Anything not to think that at that very moment, she is in a flurry getting into her dream dress while you look like shit sweating like a pig.

At the exact time the wedding begins, you are playing with your 5 year old cousin who you know loves you unconditionally and thinks the world of you and will not leave you when some silly boy in the playground tugs on her pigtails. After you estimate that the deed has been done, you get in your car and drive to the salon and get the works since you have a dinner party that night.

Night falls and you head to the dinner party. You pass by the reception location and wonder if you should go on. Common sense prevails. Moving on. Get to the party and do your thing - wow everyone with your charm and grace, knowing that you look good. Engage in thought provoking conversation, crack some jokes that are met with lots of laughter and you know you have held your own in this room full of sophisticated people. You are smiling, laughing and looking ravishing with the killer red high heels and the right amount of cleavage on display. You look good. So why does it feel like you are not really there? Like there is someone else on display and the real you is clammed up somewhere.

You have always gotten anything you wanted but not this time. The almighty cosmic joke. This is one thing you will not have.

My Song of the Day!

To celebrate the step forward in Ms Houston's life, my song for today while not my favorite song by her is arguably the most successful and a defining song in time: I'll always love you - Whitney Houston.

I remember The Bodyguard and i loved it. I was at Chrisland College and was a boarder and i remember being one of the first to see this movie. I remember having a songbook and having the words to all the songs she performed in this movie written in there. One of those song books that i wrapped in shiny wrapping paper. I used to sing a lot and had a decent voice so the seniors would call me to sing for them. Their own private amusement.

Growing up, this song was the toasting song. The song played on dates or dinners alone with a special someone. At this point in my life, this song says it all. Its the ultimate expression of love song.

Remember the video? Simple and classic with shots from the movie. There is a part of that video after the instrumental interlude - Whitney stops and begins to belt out "And iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will alway love you hoo hoo"..LOL...you know the adlib part and her vocal chords are standing at attention on her neck and you can see them pulsating as her voice does its thing.

I grew up on her music. I have every CD she has ever made and i (no exaggeration) know the words to ALL her songs. What a woman. I really hope she hits greater heights and finds peace and true happiness.

*Let me know if you would like this song*

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


I am so happy about this. Finally. At the end of this article, note that Bobby says he is having a hard time? I bet he is seeing as she supported him. LOL.

Here's to new beginning, God's blessing and having the ultimate diva back. Well fingers crossed.

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- After a tumultuous 14-year marriage marked by drug arrests and stints in rehab, Whitney Houston is divorcing Bobby Brown.

The pop singer filed divorce papers in Orange County Superior Court this week, a month after filing for legal separation from Brown, Houston's publicist Nancy Seltzer said Tuesday. The couple lived in Alpharetta, Georgia. The documents could not be obtained Tuesday by The Associated Press and Brown's attorney Phaedra Parks declined to comment.

Houston, 43, had asked in her separation papers that she be granted custody of the couple's 13-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina, and that Brown, 37, be allowed visitation rights.
The couple wed in 1992, with Houston at the height of her fame as a Grammy-winning superstar known for such hits as "I Will Always Love You."

Brown won acclaim for his gritty R&B songs as a one-time member of the boy band New Edition.
During their marriage, Brown was arrested for drugs and alcohol and Houston entered drug rehabilitation programs twice.

In an attempt to clean up her public image, Houston stepped out last month for an event in Beverly Hills with cousin Dionne Warwick and mogul Clive Davis, with whom she is working on a new album.

Brown, who also has two teenage children with a Massachusetts woman, recently paid up to $11,000 in delinquent child support after being threatened with arrest two weeks ago if he stepped back into the state.

Brown's attorney has said he was having a "very difficult" time due to the separation initiated by Houston.

The Fours MeMe

I have been tagged by London Buki and since i am a MeMe whore, here goes:

1. Management Consultant
2. Financial Advisor
3. Brand & Marketing Executive
4. Women's rights volunteer

1. Host of The Amazing Race
2. Head of a record label preferably Sony Music
3. Gary Dourdan's wife (Yes, that is a job)
4. Shoe model

1. The Lion King
2. Love Actually
3. Kal Ho Naa Ho
4. The Last of the Mohicans

1. Lagos, Nigeria
2. London, UK
3. Atlanta, US
4. Chicago, US

1. Lost
2. CSI (all franshises)
3. The Amazing Race
4. Friends

1. FL, USA
2. Dubai, UAE

3. Paris, France
4. NY, USA

1. My Favorite Blogs (xxxxx.blogspot.com - to many its embarrassing
2. www.yahoo.com
3. www.cnn.com
4. www.google.com

1. Seafood
2. Garri & Groundnuts
3. Rice
4. Suya

1. Bugs
2. Ewedu
3. Game - deer, Possum, Beaver, Roadkill
4. Raw tomatos

1. Pad Thai
2. Ice cream & Cake (damn the diet)
3. A mudslide
4. Diet Dr Pepper

1. Shoe boxes
2. My bed
3. Tons of Cds, books and DVDs
4. TV

1. Loads more space
2. A canopy bed
3. A walk in closet designed like a department store
4. More case logics

1. Black pants
2. Black and white shirt
3. Black pumps (4 inches baby)
4. Black, white and red enamel bangle

1. Mumbai, India
2. With Him
3. Seychelles
4. At the movies

1. Narnia
2. In Upendi (from the Lion king)
3. Wisteria Lane (From Desperate Housewives)
4. The huxtable house

1. Oprah
2. My Blog Pals
3. Mohammed Yunus of Grameen Bank
4. Gary Dourdan (for dinner, for a movie, for a lifetime)

1. Hmm, where has my waist gone
2. I look beautiful today
3. Shut up you client from hell
4. I wonder where He is?

1. My family
2. My books, cds and DVDs
3. My shoes
4. My jewelery (I feel really materialistic right now but i am a good person. i really am. LOL)

1. Diamond Hawk
2. Olawunmi
3. Bella Naija
4. Overwhelmed Naija Babe

Song of the Day!

I watched CNN this morning and have been checking out the news all day and i am disheartened. The world is just so messed up and its sooo many issues. Its North Korea supposedly gearing up for a 2nd round of nuclear tests, its the bloodshed in Iraq, its the dishonesty of Wesley Snipes, its the iffiness of Madonna's adoption, its the story of women in india renting their wombs(which i will blog about on my women's issue friday blog), its the 22 year old that murdered his whole family, its the greed and impeachment of Fayose, its the armed robbery attacks, its the beggars on the streets, its AIDS....Need i go on? On days like this when i feel so thoroughly jaded about life and the world that we live in, i turn to God because i know that He is the only One that can give me peace and help us all.

So my song for today is: You are God by Darwin Hobbs.

I am sure that i dont need to go on about God's power and His Grace because i am sure a lot of you can testify and for those of you that cant, you have heard and read about it. I will not attempt to preach or convert but i will share:

That everything i am, what i was and the bright future i know is mine is all because of God. The fact that i am blessed and whole is to his glory. The fact that i have family and means of livelihood and a mouth to complain about trivialities...its not because i and my family are better than anyone else. Its all becuase of God's grace and favor. This song says it all for me.

*Let me know if you would like this song*

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Why oh Why?

I am a huge fan of Wesley Snipes so i am very disturbed and disappointed with him after reading the news article below. He has made money and should know better, so why?

TAMPA, Florida (AP) -- Movie actor Wesley Snipes, star of "White Men Can't Jump" and the "Blade" films, was indicted Tuesday on eight counts of tax fraud accusing him of trying to cheat the government of $12 million in false refund claims. Snipes, 44, also failed to file tax returns for six years, according to an indictment unsealed in Tampa, Florida.

Federal prosecutors said that Snipes fraudulently claimed refunds totaling nearly $12 million in 1996 and 1997 on income taxes already paid. (Watch authorities describe Snipes' tactics -- 1:03 ). The indictment also charged him with failure to file returns between 1999 and 2004. (FindLaw.com: Read the indictment).

According to the indictment, Snipes had his taxes prepared by accountants with a history of filing false returns to reap payments for their clients. As part of the deal, the indictment alleges, the firm, American Rights Litigators, would receive 20 percent of refunds from clients.
Snipes faces a maximum of 16 years in prison.

Snipes, who had a home in Windermere, Florida, has not been arrested because authorities don't know where he is, the IRS said.

In 2002, the Justice Department sued a Florida tax preparer who it said filed bogus tax refund claims, including a $7.3 million demand for Snipes. Snipes was not named as a defendant in that case, but the lawsuit said the preparer's largest claim was an amended income tax return filed on behalf of the actor and dated April 14, 2001. The return requested a $7,360,755 refund for taxes paid in 1997. The return said that Snipes' adjusted gross income was zero, according to the lawsuit.

It said the preparer, Douglas P. Rosile Sr., told clients that only income from foreign sources was subject to taxation. The resolution of that lawsuit could not be immediately determined.
Snipes is the star of the "Blade" trilogy and as well as films such as Spike Lee's "Jungle Fever" and "Passenger 57."

In 2005, South Africa refused to admit him after officials said he tried to enter the country with a forged passport.

On fashion and trends

I would describe my style as classic and elegant. I go for timeless pieces that will stand the test of time in my closet. I love the style of Grace Kelly, Jackie Onassis and Audrey Hepburn. But i am also a bit of a fashionista and keep abreast of trends. Every now and again, i will buy an inexpensive trendy item. Inexpensive because it will hurt less when it goes out of style and i have to condemn that item of clothing. Some trends are alright but lately, i think the "in" things are just laughable and i refuse to be enslaved by things guaranteed to make people look stupid. Examples:

Skinny Jeans: What the hell is up with this. I am sorry, in my opinion Kate Moss looked like a skeleton in them. How can one wear jeans that are straight all the way down and then are tapered at the leg? Very unflattering and i dont care if Victoria Beckham is wearing them, these are not a very good look for women especially african women endowed with bums and thighs.

Leggings: A very bad flashback from the 80s. I remember wearing these in the 90's and i had them in various colors. Good grief. Remember stirrups anyone? Now they are back in all lengths and i just want to throw up. And then these are been worn with dresses or oversized tops. Yuck! Now for my ladies with athletic legs/calves otherwise known as yams, ehm, what to do? I just think this is plain silly.

Oversized Sunglasses: Now there are levels to this. Slight larger frames i can deal with but these ones that are being touted as all the rage that are like goggles are just plain laughable. I mean, in some of the pictures i have seen, some noses are being squashed by the weight of the glasses. Then the colored ones are even worse. People walking around looking like bugs. Anyone see the movie The Fly? Enough said.

Patent Leather: Apparently shoes in this material are in now. But why???? This stuff is shiny and looks plain tacky. Imagine red patent leather pumps. Sure Cruella De Vil can carry it off or maybe the dominatrix next door might do well with black patent leather boots but are they the norm?

Flats: I see also that ballet flats are in now. A perfect accompaniment to skinny jeans. Well personally, unless flats are slippers or sandals for my cute toes to show through, why would i do this to myself. Some of these flats have bows (kill me now). Okay, i guess if you have narrow feet, it might work casually, but what if you have wide feet? Then the flats spread out to accomodate your feet making your feet look like amoeba. Add that to skinny jeans and i would rather not even think about it.

Prints: Well not so bad i would say but some crazy people are taking this overboard and mixing prints. Polka dots and florals. Bold and loud clashes of color. Horror of horrors. What the hell? Imagine a busty person like me wearing huge flowers on her top half? Enough said.

Are there any ridiculous trends i have missed?

Song of the Day!!

My song of the day is music at its finest. To me one doesnt need to understand the words of a song to enjoy and be moved by music. I am also a huge fan of this south african group:

Ladysmith Black Mambazo - Inkanyezi Nezazi (The Star and the Wiseman).

I fell in love with this song in the late 90's or so when i was still in England. This song was used by Campbell's soup for one of their adverts. I remember rushing to HMV with my dad and buying a copy of the best of ladysmith black mambazo. I have been a convert since then. They are regular backup singers for Paul Simon and have played to sold out concerts worldwide.

Watching live perfomances of them is mesmerizing. They move with the rythmn of africa flowing through their bodies. I especially love the the untouched nature of their voices. Most of their songs are free from complex melodies, equalizers and equipment. Just harmonies. Simply music.

*Let me know if you want this song*

Monday, October 16, 2006

Repost - Married Friends

On my way home from work last night, i saw a car that reminded me of an old friend so i promptly whipped my phone out and called him. Halfway through the second ring, i remembered he was married and i was calling at 8.05pm. . Do i hang up? Well no, that would be a little odd. So he picks up the phone and the first thing i ask, is if its okay to call him this late. He laughs and asks what on earth i mean. We laugh, catch up and bid each other goodnight.

As my friends (male and female) get married and have kids, i find myself in that uncertain category - the unmarried friend. I have always had more male friends and always considered myself one of the boys when i hung out with them. Now that some of them are married, what is the protocol now? Of course the guys say things will not change. Yeah right! First of all, those calls and texts at any time of the day or night to goof around or complain about the latest relationship cannot happen anymore. There will be a reduced number of hang out dates - we don't want people getting the wrong impression now do we? Even when the wives know me, as most of them do, i can sense a certain coldness that wasn't there before - you know, when they were just dating. Let's not even discuss visits to their homes. The guys are torn between hanging out with me (you all know how much fun i am and the impact my scintillating conversations have on people ), and not upsetting wifey in any way.

The girlfriends, i always thought would be easier. My girls are like my sisters. I played a part at their weddings, in some cases, i was the matchmaking maven that brought them together, i even convinced some of these girls to date these men in the first place. Well, reality check! I was going to the movies and asked one of my girls to come along. She said she would love to but she couldn't. Figured she was busy or something. Then she told me, her husband didn't want her hanging out with her single friends so much anymore. Huh!!!!!!! I felt like a contagious disease considering that i am the only single friend she has left. Am i going to contaminate his precious wife? Or sully the marriage? Am i one of the Lagos big girls one frequently reads about in the soft sell publications always up to no good? Is he forgetting that I - Uzoma Amuta introduced them. When he was acting up, I was the one that convinced her to stay with him. I wanted to go and see Ice Age 2 at 5pm. That hurt me a little bit until someone told me not to take it personally. "You are single and therefore you must be up to no good - doesn't matter if it is true or not."

I never thought i would be the scarlet woman. Now i think its sooooo funny. I dont even introduce the current date or person in my life to many people. Heaven forbid that does not work out and the next week they are being introduced to another fellow. It will confirm their unfounded belief that i must be having swinging parties all over Lagos and am determined to snatch their beloved husbands away from them or drag their wives into the world of iniquity.

God dey!!!!

Song of the Day!

My song for the day has got to be one of my favorite songs of all time. People that know me will attest to the fact that in the last few months, i havent been able to get enough of this song: The Dance - Dave Koz with lyrics sung by BeBe Winans.

I dont know when and how this song crept into every fiber of my being. Sure i like jazz and i had listened to this cd many times before. But one day, i couldnt stop listening and crying to this song. It might have to do with the fact that i was on a rollercoaster of emotions at the time and yearning and longing for something that wasnt mine to have.

I have to listen to this song at least once a day and i just feel so much everytime.

Here's to finding my "life dance" partner

*Let me know if you would like this song*

Friday, October 13, 2006

Women & Sexual Slavery

Sexual slavery typically includes practices such as forced prostitution, single owner sexual slavery, ritual slavery (associated with some religious practices). This should not be confused with the terms "sex slave" or "consensual sexual slavery" used in bondage and BDSM circles to refer to mutual agreements between sexual partners. My post is about unwilling slavery.

Forced prostitution is one of the most prevalent forms of sexual slavery and is directed at immigrants to the West and certain Asian countries. Sex trafficking and human trafficking means that the "owners"/traffickers of these girls/women will confisicate passports, use threats, physical force and even go as far as force-feeding them drugs in order to make them completely dependent.

In America, the INS constantly raids and searches massage parlors suspected of offering indentured or enslaved women for prostitution. The cities with the highest incidents are: San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle, Dallas, Houston, New orleans, New York and Atlanta.

Women in several cases have told investigators about being beaten, raped, burned with cigarettes and ordered to have sex with hundreds of men to work off transportation "fees" of up to $60,000.

The smuggling of prostitutes to the US is part of a booming sex industry that is fueled both by women seeking to escape poor or repressive countries and by an insatiable demand for their service.

Millions of women have been sold worldwide since the 70s. Southeast Asia, Latin America and the former Soviet Union are the main sources of women bound for brothels in America, Amsterdam and Japan. Once these women reach the target country, they are typically rotated from city to city to evade law enforcement, keep the women disoriented and give clients fresh faces.

One emancipated woman from Houston's Bangkok Spa said in order to pay off a $15,000 fee, she was told, she would have to have sex with over 500 men at $93 each, for 45 minutes per man and 10 men a day.

It has also become profitable for families to sell their women and girls. Some women are falsely told they are bound for legitimate jobs in restaurants, garment shops or homes but end up in brothels under inhuman conditions.

Sexual slavery exists worldwide:

In Africa, there are reports of this practice in Sudan, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Northern Uganda, Congo, Niger and Mauritania. In Zimbabwe, the government is believed to train its youth militia - the Border Geziyouth in the use of rape as a tactic. In Ghana, Togo and Benin, a form of religious servitude keeps thousands of girls and women in traditional shrines against their will forcing them to act as "wives of the gods". The shrine priests perform the sexual function in the place of the gods. This is similar to the devadasi system in India. In Nigeria, most of the victims come from Edo State with Benin City as the main source of women trafficked for prostitution.

Iran, Bangladesh, Afghanistan have some reports of trafficking. Israel & Turkey also have a significant sex trade - mostly involving women from Eastern Europe.

This post barely scatches the surface of this issue. For more information, check out any of these organizations:

Coalition Against Trafficking in Women: www.catwinternational.org
Sanlaap Organization: www.sanlaap.org
Coalition To Abolish Slavery & Trafficking: www.castla.org
Polaris: www.polarisproject.org
Amnesty International: www.amnesty.org
Every Child Ministries: www.ecmafrica.org

Feeling Good!

After reposting "Phenomenal Woman" yesterday, i took the time to read it again. Sure i know the words of this poem by heart but i READ it again. I felt so empowered and lifted again. With those words in my mind, i got dressed this morning. I pulled on my black pants, my white sequined tunic, silver and red hoops. Grabbed my whitish high heels and gave my toes another coat of vamp red nail polish. Slid on my silver mesh tiffany ring, put my hair up. For a bit of color, i grabbed a gold and red pashmina and applied some mascara and eye shadow. I stared in the mirror and smiled. Sure my tunic is not a size Small, my pants are not a size 8. So what. I am beautiful. If i was created in God's image, how can i not be perfect? Grabbed my bag and with a smile on my face, i walked down my stairs and i felt like royalty. Stepped outside and the sun was out in all its glory. I put on my classic black Gucci sunglasses and got into my car. Smiled all the way to work and gracefully entered my office. And everyone turned to look at me. Lots of compliments - you look so nice.

I am beautiful. I am a phenomenal woman. Phenomenally. That's me

Song of the day!

This song brings back so many memories from back in the day: I wonder if i take you home by Lisa Lisa & The Cult Jam ft Full Force.

This was the absolute IT song at all birthday parties. Not the grown up ones. The ones for the little kids. Remember those? There is a video tape in my house that is definitely one to treasure. Of Uzo - cant place my age but i must have been 8 or something. Wearing a green and white dress. A full dress with the layers of tulle and netting underneath. This dress had a tomato red wide belt tied into a big bow at the back. I am wearing pop socks with red frills and patent leather red mary janes. I have a lot of hair accessories - clips and baubles. Frankly it looks like my mom emptied a packet of the things on my head. And i am at Fadeke's birthday party. I am dancing with all of my heart and soul vying for the attention of the "aunty". Then its time for musical chairs. And you should see the look of concentration on my face as this song comes on. I win musical chairs to this song. I am cringing with total embarrassment.

Does anyone remember the video for this song? Lisa had the weirdest hairdo and makeup on. So 80s but she was soooo cool. Here's to the glorious 80s and all the dances to the hot beats of "I wonder if i take you home, will u still be in love baby, because i need u tonight...Oh Oh"

*Leave an email address if you like me to send you this song*

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Repost - Phenomenal woman

I posted this in the very first few days of blogging. I am sure that every woman worth her salt that is a Maya Angelou fan know of this poem. It is one of my favorite pieces because it oozes sass and confidence. This is not a woman to bow her head anywhere. Enjoy:

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I am not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when i start to tell them, they think i am telling lies
I say its in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my step
The curl of my lips
I am a woman
Phenomenal Woman
That's me

I walk into a room just as cool as you please
And to a man, the fellows stand, fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees
I say, its the fire in my eyes
The flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist and the joy of my feet
I am a woman
Phenomenal woman
That's me

Men themselves have wondered what they see in me
They try so much but they can't touch my inner mystery
When i try to show them, they still can't see
I say its in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style
I am a woman
Phenomenal Woman
That's me

Now you understand
That's why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing, it ought to make you proud
I say, its in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care
'Cos i am a woman
Phenomenal woman
That's me
- Maya Angelou

My song for the day

I am profiling a Nigerian artist/song today. The song is called "Ego" and its by Djinee. He is a new artist with Westside Music (hey Solomon) and is putting finishing touches on his debut album. Can i just tell you how beautiful this song is? Very very beautiful. I introduced DiamondHawk to this song and she is a huge fan. Olawunmi (of Silent Storms) is a fan and actually posted the video for this song on his blog. I believe he got it from YouTube. This song was number 1 on all Nigerian chart shows on TV and on the radio for a few months. Definitely one to add to a music collection....

*If you would like me to send you this song, simply leave me an email address*

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


The phones in my office are buzzing. People are calling friends and loved ones wondering where we are. Claims that a portion of the 3rd Mainland Bridge has collapsed. Its been raining heavily all day. I am hoping its just a rumour. Will keep this page updated.....


I have decided to repost some of the posts from my yahoo blog and start a song of the day segment.

For the song of the day, i will blab about a song i cant get enough of and memories attached to the song. Anyone who want me to send that song, can simply leave an email address in the comments section. Sounds easy enough.

My song for today is: Johnny Gill's - My, My, My.

Isnt this one of the sexiest songs out there. I love Johnny's voice with the hint of the growl and this song is sooo sensual it washes over me. I especially love this song because it was the song that i had my first slow dance to in a public place. I think i was about 17 or so and in University. I was so intent on keeping certain parts of my body away from certain parts of his that i lost the fist minute or so of the song. But i relaxed and enjoyed the dance.

Where on earth is Johnny Gill?

The Dubai Date

Its been a while since i mentioned this so here goes:

I had no intention of hanging out socially with anyone in Dubai other than my 2 friends but i had loads of plans to ogle the men. What can i say? I appreciate God's work.

While walking downtown, i passed this fabulous shop that had the sexiest bags in the window. Of course i did a turnaround and headed into the store to see which of those works of art was going back home with me. The shop was very classily done and also sold hard to find perfumes. While browsing, someone asked if i needed help and i turned around and there he was. This man was about 6"3 and looked like a Bollywood star. Dressed very impeccably. Wow. I thought to myself. See fine man. So i smiled and said i was just looking.

I picked 3 bags and walked to the counter. He was behind the counter addressing some of the people that worked there and they were attempting to display some creams. He asked if i was interested in checking out one of the creams. Turned out to be an aloe vera cream with some oils and stuff packaged ina very fancy tub thingy. So i began to ask questions about it, what it was for and asked to smell it. I decided to take one and then he asked me if where i was from as i spoke very "polished english". I laughed and said Nigeria.

He then said he hadnt been to Nigeria but he spent half of his life in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Of course that piqued by interest so i began to chat with him. Then he told me he spent the other part of his life in Spain and that he had just moved to Dubai about a year before. So i practiced some of my rusty spanish with him which made him smile some. He told me the store was his and that the aloe vera creams were his exclusive imports from Spain and that he sourced his products from Europe and was in the process of finishing his factory that would manufacture bags in India for the Dubai market. Wow i said. As he wrapped my stuff and brought out perfume testers for me to try, i noticed a little hindi altar in the corner of his store. So i asked which of the members of his staff was hindi. He looked taken aback and asked me how i knew the altar was hindi. I laughed and told him about my love for India and all things Indian and that i was planning a trip there next year. He told me was actually from India - Mumbai precisely.

Now, people that know me know i was indian in my former life and that i am nuts about anything indian. My parents have given up on me and just let me be when i start my madness.

Anyway, we talked about India and how long he had been away from home. Talked about the hotspots in India, talked Bollywood for a bit. That's when i said my love for india was so intense that i would actually be searching for a handsome indian man during my trip there to marry and settle down to live in Goa. He looked shocked that i wasnt married. Asked me why and i said i was looking for a man to sing and cry for me like in the bollywood movies.

Okay, so i was shamelessly flirting. I was giggling and as i talked and flipping my braids all over the place. What can i say? I was on vacation. I realised that i had spent close to an hour chatting and my bags were still unwrapped. Then i remembered my manners plus the stares from other people in the store got me, so i said i had to leave. He asked what i was doing for the rest of the day. I said shopping and more shopping so he asked if we could keep talking over dinner. I stopped and stared. Thought about it for a bit and said yes. He asked where i was staying and said he would be at the hotel at 9. He then laughed and said he didnt even know my name. He liked the name and told me his name was Aamir. He took my cell number and i took his and off i skipped.

Of course all thoughts of shopping escaped my mind. I trotted down to the hotel as fast as i could go and called one of my friends to tell him about it and he laughed and told me to have fun. I am sure some of you are wondering why dinner was so late? Well in Dubai, activity begins at 8am and everything shuts down at 2pm - 3pm for a break. Since this was also ramadan period, activity kicks off again after fast is broken at about 7pm and dubai is buzzing till 2am - 3am.

I dressed very simply. Launched one of new jewelled tunic things, (Everything is Dubai has a bit of a bling or a lot so a simple top can look so dressed up) a pair of dark pants and some strappy sandals. Put my braids up and left the makeup to a minimum. Thought i looked pretty nice. At 9, the call came to my room that i had a guest in the lobby. Off i went.

He looked yummy. Obviously a man that takes care of himself. Dressed simply in a gray silk shirt, jeans and a blazer. Anyway, we stepped out and the valet guy brought his car around. I really tried to look cool but his car - something i have only heard off and seen in magazines and hip hop videos. I looked at him and said nice car. He smiled and said, my one indulgence. We got in and the seats of his car hugged my tushie and felt like butter. The difference between this car and my altima was sooo clear.

We talked in the car and laughed. Dinner was at a very nice restaurant called Veeda (sp?). We were shown to the patio which overlooked water. The view was beautiful. The famous El Burj hotel was to one side while another hotel (he said it was the Hyatt) was on the other side. Dinner was chef's choice. Which meant we had 7 courses of suprise dishes. All of them fusion dishes. East meets West stuff. I realised that this was one of the best dates ever. There were no sexual innuendos, no looks at my chest. He was really interested in me - where i was from, my work, my family, my beliefs...Me. He also wasnt guarded and shared information about himself and all. Talked about the fact that he wasnt interested in getting into a relationship at the moment since he was building his business. I told him he would have absolutely no trouble finding someone when he was ready. I told he was one of the best looking men i had ever seen and one fot he most interesting as well. He laughed and said it was rare to meet someone as outspoken as me and beautiful as well. I told him i kew i was beautiful but i wanted to be thinner and he said there was absolutely nothing wrong with me as long i oozed confidence....

Had to be the air or the food but i was almost a different person that night. Dinner ended at about 11.30 and he took be to Trilogy (apparently one of the hottest places in Dubai - a bar/club). We stayed just a few minutes. Too loud and not my thing. He drove around showing me a few places of interest and took me back to my hotel. Said goodnight and asked to come round his store the next day. No awkward silence, no attempts to kiss me. Just a goodnight and i had fun.

The next day, i trotted to his store where i was greeted with a hug. He had a present for me. A couple of new hindi movies and 2 cds (indian of course). said he had them lying at home and since i was going back to Nigeria, i could have them as he could always replace them. Bought another bag which i got for a fraction of the price since i insisted on paying something. I said bye and that was it.

No promises. No waiting for the phone to ring. Just hanging out with a very interesting person that thought i was interesting as well. What a refreshing change.