I cannot tie my head except to go to bed at nite and for those occassions that i want to feel neo-souly (not a word or phrase i know...LOL).
When it comes time to get all decked up, i get dressed and go to my mom who makes me sit on the bed and then she does her thing. I usually urge her to make it really tight. The thought of having the gele fall off my head in public is really mortifying. So i look beautiful for the event but my brain cells are dying from lack of oxygen and my head hurts so bad that i think it will fall off. After she is done, i gingerly go down the stairs and plan the strategy of getting into the car. Bear in mind that usually these stunning outfits are usually made up of tight figure skimming long skirts, bustier style tops with my emm assets strategically arranged for a desired effect and heels at least 3 inches high. Then the gele. So imagine what getting into the car must feel like. Getting out requires almost the same strategy with the plan being - i get out of the car and still have like 2 mins to arrange myself and get ready for the photographers that pounce on you at these events. Designer sunglasses in place, purse in hand, gele tall, jewelery blinging, feeling like a diva i strut into the church/hall feeling the admiring looks follow me.
Yes those were the days.
Then my mom delivered a bombshell a few months ago. "You are a nigerian woman and you cant tie a gele? After al the time i have been tying them for you, you still havent learnt? Okay, i am not going to tie a gele for you again".
At the time i laughed seeing as she couldnt be serious. The next event came up, i went to her and she gave me a look that would have chilled the Ice Queen. I turned around and went back to my room to do it myself.
There it was - this perfect square of gold shiny crunchy fabric. I unfolded it and refolded it the way i had seen my mom do it and started the process. First of all, that crunchiness is not cool. Its so noisy. Then i couldnt find the 2 parts that you have to hold onto. Found them but i couldnt tie them. The damn thing just slipped off my head. After a lot of struggling that resulted in my arms hurting and me sweating in my air conditioned room, it was tied. Then came the arranging. I mean you tie first, then arrange abi? Looking in the mirror i looked a hot mess. Nothing like the glamorous works of art that my mom created or anyone else for that matter. So off it went. I tried again and still no luck. I flung that nonsense off my head. Re-arranged my braids and went out jare. No need for the stupid thing.
This new found strategy has worked for the past 6 months or so. I have an event that requires traditional wear. I simply get my hair done and dress my hair up - rosettes, jewelled pins etc.
The game is up now. One of my closest friends is getting married this weekend and i am a bridesmaid. The engagement is tomorrow and i have time off work. Mr Mohammed (my tailor) has done his magic and created a fabulous tea length dress in the pink dry lace that was chosen as the aso-ebi. I have my jeweled pink/lilac Enzo Angolini sandals with the 4 inch stiletto heels. I have my white/yellow gold anklet. I have my silver Movado watch with the pink face. My accessories - silver/pink/pearly necklace type thing with a stone that stops right at the stage of my cleavage. Matching dangly earrings and bracelet. And there is the PINK & SILVER GELE. I have to tie it tomorrow and my mom has promised me that there shall be no help this time.
*Sob* Help me...............