Its this uncanny (to me anyway) ability to "JUST KNOW".
Let me explain this. Its not supernatural (LOL - dont worry), i think its more a heightened awareness about people, what is said, what is unsaid, body language etc and an ability to discern.
Its something i have discovered and worked with over the past 4-5 years. It isnt a big deal to me but the reason i have decided to do a mini post about this is to give a little bit of an inkling into who i am and this is one of those pointed posts (directed to a certain audience).
Whenever i act coy and dumb (acting like i dont understand), its really just for the other person's benefit. A lot of the time i already know will be said and or what has been done. Dont think i am a fool just because i am silent or ask the probing questions at the right time.
It really isnt rocket science - simply paying attention is the key.
Someone wrote me a cryptic email a few days ago. Stuff on his mind and a feeling of restlessness but just wanting to say hi. And the moment i read that email, i KNEW exactly what the matter was. I simply put certain things together and there it was. Clear as day. I called him and he walked around in circles and i simply listened and said something that pointed in the general direction of his angst. And he was silent and finally opened up and it was exactly as i thought.
This weekend, i was in contact with a lot of people including some people that i hadbnt seen in ages but communicated with via email or over the phone. This girl i have known for a few years gave me a hug but kept dancing around someone else. I looked at the 2 of them, and i just knew what was going on with them.
Its amazing really but oh so simple. I want to consider this post a message to certain people that really really think i am clueless as to what is going on or that my batting eyelash act with the appropriate baby voice somehow implies that i honest to God dont have the ability to grasp some of these "complex" things going on.
While i am flattered that my feelings are being taken into consideration in a particular situation, the truth is i really could care less. I am at a point in my life where i feel PEACE. A peace that is difficult to grasp but i think its this peace and contentment that has made me more in tune with people and has freed my heart from a lot of the dysfuntional strings holding it.
Would it be presumptuous of me to say that i look at people and feel sorry for the self inflicted drama that cause the angst and negativity i feel when i am around them? Maybe but its the truth.
I am no expert in life afterall what do i know? But here are some of the things i know for sure:
- Life is too short. Seize each moment for that tomorrow may never come
- Nothing is really that serious
- People are not stupid. Treat each person with respect and come correct. Hiding things will only lead to disaster down the road
- Open your eyes each morning, take a deep breath, thank your maker for being able to see another day and jump into life. Do not overplan every action and every thought
- For those that this post is meant for - you dont have demons or issues. You really dont. What you have are hangups that you guys are holding onto as a shield so you dont have to confront real life. Its not that no-one understands you, you dont understand yourself. Its not that you cant be loved, its that you dont love yourself. Its not that you cant find love, its just that you follow the wrong people like puppies with misplaced trust and they hurt you over and over again. Its not that the world is against you, its just you hold on to past hurts and use them to justify not living.
- And oh for the love of God, there is no such thing as a type. Finding love is special and to turn it away 'cos it doesnt fit your mould is a one way ticket to loneliness
There is so much to say but i think the points of this rant are:
- I know a lot more than i let on so please dont think it will be easy to pull the wool over my eyes
- Dont use my feelings as an excuse to not live your life
- Life is not as complex as a lot of people make it out to be
- Get over yourselves and just live