Thursday, October 26, 2006

Repost - A Word of Warning

4 blogs in a day? I am so sorry but i think i missed blogging.....

My weekend was packed with so much activity that i only got 5 hours of sleep the whole weekend. And before anyone gets excited at the thought that i finally got buck wild, it was actually a work thing.

Finally got home and got a phone call from my girlfriend who had her baby last week. Our conversation revolved around the baby and how beautiful she is and how she feels so much love for the baby that she thinks she will burst. How nice and touching!

Of course i am so excited and happy for her but a pretty interesting fact came out of the conversation. Me being me, i cut right to the chase of the matter and asked her what the pain was like. How many hours was she in labor, what did it feel like, did she get an epidural, do those breathing exercises work and did she feel all that love for her husband while the contractions were ripping her body almost in two. Yes people - these burning questions had to be answered.

Her answers: the pain is excruciating but when you hold that baby in your arms, you forget all about it (funny how they always say that . I imagine that the pain associated with squeezing a whole person out of you will not be so easily forgotten...), after months of swearing she would go natural, she almost paged the anaesthesiologist herself in her hurry to get the epidural, the breathing exercises do not work (she didnt even remember a thing) and her husband was great.
You know how modern day women swear up and down that the husband has to be in the delivery room and watch the birth of the baby. My friend says she was saved from a frigid and weird marriage by her friends and a Nigerian nurse that helped her delivery. She wanted her husband to watch the baby ACTUALLY being born if you catch my drift. Apparently that is such a bad thing. .

Here's the deal, the husband/partner has to be confined to the head of the bed. He must only hold your hand and see your face. Apparently, actually watching the baby being born is such a traumatizing experience and sight to behold. While husband/partner should be grateful and filled with love that u helped bring the carrier of his family name into the world, if you want the baby to have any siblings, he needs to stay away from the birth zone. Apparently, most men have a hard time seeing wives/partners as sexy and hot after watching all that activity down there.

She said this and while i thought it was finny, i wasnt sure if i bought it. So i promptly called 3 married men that happen to be my friends and have kids. Asked what they thought. And THEY all agreed. 2 of them were advised by their own friends to stay away from that area and they gladly complied. (I mean, forget all the romantic stuff, who really wants to see a whole little person complete with hands, feet and everything, being squeezed out of your beloved one. Its painful for all involved. Plus men are squeamish....its not exactly a neat experience) . The last guy said he actually saw the baby being born. He blames the people in the delivery room in Boston who even tried to make him record the actual moment of the birth (yeah, like he was going to have a viewing party with popcorn and have the whole world watch that). He said it took him such a long time to get over it. He kept seeing it over and over and for a few months, everytime he looked at her, he just saw that and could not muster any passion. LOL. . I laughed so hard and i even spoke with his wife who laughed with us but said if she had known, she would have made him stay away from that area.

Moral of this story: Men in the delivery room should be kept away from the action area. A word is enough for the wise.


kulutempa said...

thanks for the advice...i'm all about men KNOWING what women go through in the birthing room, but to miss out on future opportunities to get freaky would be too much pain to bear!

Biodun said...

lol, my friend's husband was also confined to the head of the bed, lol same reason,

Calabar Gal said...

LOL at the 'viewing party with popcorn' in the delivery room.
I'd know I'd like my partner to be in the delivery room whenever it comes to my turn. We're in it together so he's got to see the consequences of his 'amourous adventures'. LOL

Uzo said...

@Calabar Gal: Sure he has to be in the delivery room. But at the HEAD of the bed..LOL

Nomad said...

Heck I have three kids, delivered naturally and DONT want to see the action area, I left that to the nurses and yes, not even on TV. Caught a glimpse once and oh yuck. About forgetting the pain, hmmm, during my first labour I just kept wondering why my mum actually let me get away once in a while with being rude. I thought to myself, if this baby sha tries any nonesense with me eh... In all though, yes you do 'forget' (cause ofcourse the physical pain is gone and yes, he/they get away with being rude from time to time.... All's well that ends well I guess.

Olawunmi said...

you have validated me!!! i have no desire to even be in that labour room, thank you very much. your retelling of your friends' experiences validate what i have always known: if you watch your wife give birth, you might never be able to touch her again. i intend to print off this blog and show my future wife.

ps: this is not because i am squeamish o.

Uzo said...

Lets not get it twisted people. He WILL have to be in the delivery room. He will have to feed me ice chips. He will have his fingers squeezed. I will even curse him out a few times and through this he is obligated to tell me how beautiful i am and that he loves me to death. He just wont be doing any of that down there. LOL