Thursday, October 19, 2006

Repost - Unfulfilled Fantasies

Have you ever met someone perfect for you? The vibe between you is great. You can't stop talking to each other. The chemistry is there. He laughs when you talk and he really listens to you. He is tall enough for you, cute enough for you...perfect for you. Bam!!! He's getting married and definitely not to you. Isn't life something. So you laugh it off and you both say how weird it is that you just met and you let it go. You know that should be the end of it so you say to yourself, well we get along great..so we can hang out and talk . No big deal. Afterall nothing is going to happen.

Yeah nothing happens except for the fact your brain goes to mush and all you can think about is him. As the wedding day looms closer, some very lucky woman is getting all the last minute details of her dream day ready while you are praying for something to happen. You don't know what but something like....maybe he declares his undying love for you and realises that he cannot live without you and calls off his wedding and you both live happily ever after. Or maybe she decides she is about to make the biggest mistake of her life and then she cancels the wedding which will bode well for you since you won't have that on your conscience but the ending is the same - you ride off into the sunset on his white horse and live happily ever after.

Nope! Does not happen. You try to snap yourself out of it by telling yourself he's just having a last minute sort of fling (cant really call it a fling since nothing actually happens), or maybe you are a challenge, or maybe you dont really like him, its just the fact that he is unavailable since you have issues anyway. All that.

Then its D-Day. You wake up with a sinking feeling but drag yourself to your kickboxing class and this time when the 1 hour is over, you tell Sergeant Joe you will pay him extra for another 30 minute session of pure punishment. Bring on the pain. Anything not to think that at that very moment, she is in a flurry getting into her dream dress while you look like shit sweating like a pig.

At the exact time the wedding begins, you are playing with your 5 year old cousin who you know loves you unconditionally and thinks the world of you and will not leave you when some silly boy in the playground tugs on her pigtails. After you estimate that the deed has been done, you get in your car and drive to the salon and get the works since you have a dinner party that night.

Night falls and you head to the dinner party. You pass by the reception location and wonder if you should go on. Common sense prevails. Moving on. Get to the party and do your thing - wow everyone with your charm and grace, knowing that you look good. Engage in thought provoking conversation, crack some jokes that are met with lots of laughter and you know you have held your own in this room full of sophisticated people. You are smiling, laughing and looking ravishing with the killer red high heels and the right amount of cleavage on display. You look good. So why does it feel like you are not really there? Like there is someone else on display and the real you is clammed up somewhere.

You have always gotten anything you wanted but not this time. The almighty cosmic joke. This is one thing you will not have.

14 comments:

LondonBuki said...

Wow...

Thank God I have not experienced this cos reading it makes me sad!

Who/What was your inspiration?

Uzo said...

Its not a pleasant thing to go through. This happened to me this year and the person in question got married in April. Have seen him once since then by mistake and it was like a kick in the stomach

Diamond said...

and you wonder why married women dont want you to call their men anymore...

lol

Uzo said...

@Diaond: Traitor. LOL. Well i respect the institution of marriage which is why there has never been any contact between us....LOL

DiAmOnD hawk said...

i just couldnt resist u know...lol
but men to feel that kind of conxn... i think there's a movie that explores that... i cant remember if it's serendepity or maybe it's a book i read...

here's to praying that we are matched with the exact person that will fulfill all our heart desires...according to God's Will

Uzo said...

@Diamond: Say it with me everyone - AMEN

Onya Baquebeich said...

"the almighty cosmic joke" lolol... well, we cant have it all now can we.

LondonBuki said...

This year? Wow! Pele Luv... and AMEN to Diamond's Prayer!

Biodun said...

wow, never felt that b4, but sometimes that perfect person in our eyes is not the right person for us.

Soul said...

the almighty cosmic joke, is probably 'the almighty cosmic' devine intervention.

Sometimes things are not the way it seems.
Sometimes what we want is not what we need.
Sometimes a taste of beauty is all we need from someone or something. Not the whole package, because the whole package might be too far from what we presume it to be.

Aghhh, and then sometimes we experience beauty with one person for a brief period, and know that we have to let go. For some reason we just need to let go. We need to trust ourselves and believe that we are now in a better place, even though what we wanted is not what we have, cos more than likely... it was not what we needed.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

oH WHAO... this was deep!!! I can't even imagine how painful/heart-wrenching it would be.. cos you wouldnt know if u should tell him how u feel (cos then ur a homewrecker and destroying another womans happiness) OR JUST KEEP SHUT AND SUFFER IN SILENCE.. what a decision to have to make 4real

you wrote it excellent... hope ur iite now tho... I say when in doubt/pain/trouble... wear those SExy Red Heels!

Jem said...

OMG,

wow, i pray for this never to happen to any lady ohhh. It's great pain but maybe he was not the right person for her. God has a divine plan!

Angie said...

Gosh i will probably run to a nunnery if that happens to me oh. God kns i cant take that kind of emotions.
Uzo u r strong oh!!!
When u saw him did u guyz talk?wat did u say?

Uzo said...

@Angie: I saw him at at media store with his niece and it was intense. A few hellos and small chit chat and i ran away as fast as i could get away...

@Soul: In Life, i have to believe that God has a plan for me and will not let me go through anything out of sync. So at the time, i really felt with every fiber of my being that God was playing tricks with my heart. But since then, while i am not entirely convinced that we would not have been great together, i rest easy knowing that he just wasnt in God's plan for me.