Monday, October 16, 2006
Repost - Married Friends
On my way home from work last night, i saw a car that reminded me of an old friend so i promptly whipped my phone out and called him. Halfway through the second ring, i remembered he was married and i was calling at 8.05pm. . Do i hang up? Well no, that would be a little odd. So he picks up the phone and the first thing i ask, is if its okay to call him this late. He laughs and asks what on earth i mean. We laugh, catch up and bid each other goodnight.
As my friends (male and female) get married and have kids, i find myself in that uncertain category - the unmarried friend. I have always had more male friends and always considered myself one of the boys when i hung out with them. Now that some of them are married, what is the protocol now? Of course the guys say things will not change. Yeah right! First of all, those calls and texts at any time of the day or night to goof around or complain about the latest relationship cannot happen anymore. There will be a reduced number of hang out dates - we don't want people getting the wrong impression now do we? Even when the wives know me, as most of them do, i can sense a certain coldness that wasn't there before - you know, when they were just dating. Let's not even discuss visits to their homes. The guys are torn between hanging out with me (you all know how much fun i am and the impact my scintillating conversations have on people ), and not upsetting wifey in any way.
The girlfriends, i always thought would be easier. My girls are like my sisters. I played a part at their weddings, in some cases, i was the matchmaking maven that brought them together, i even convinced some of these girls to date these men in the first place. Well, reality check! I was going to the movies and asked one of my girls to come along. She said she would love to but she couldn't. Figured she was busy or something. Then she told me, her husband didn't want her hanging out with her single friends so much anymore. Huh!!!!!!! I felt like a contagious disease considering that i am the only single friend she has left. Am i going to contaminate his precious wife? Or sully the marriage? Am i one of the Lagos big girls one frequently reads about in the soft sell publications always up to no good? Is he forgetting that I - Uzoma Amuta introduced them. When he was acting up, I was the one that convinced her to stay with him. I wanted to go and see Ice Age 2 at 5pm. That hurt me a little bit until someone told me not to take it personally. "You are single and therefore you must be up to no good - doesn't matter if it is true or not."
I never thought i would be the scarlet woman. Now i think its sooooo funny. I dont even introduce the current date or person in my life to many people. Heaven forbid that does not work out and the next week they are being introduced to another fellow. It will confirm their unfounded belief that i must be having swinging parties all over Lagos and am determined to snatch their beloved husbands away from them or drag their wives into the world of iniquity.