Kirk Franklin - Imagine Me
This song is monumental for personal reasons. First of all, my ipod shows that i have listened to this song 125 times - ranking number 2 in terms of most played songs. Its also monumental because the first time i heard this song, i swear God talked to me.
See, i believe that He speaks to me in certain ways and obviously music would be one of the ways that i feel so close to God that my head swells. The first time i heard this song, i was going through one of those periods of low low self esteem and just feeling invisible and feeling that the world just couldnt see me. Very odd place to be. Smiling and working as normal but tortured on the inside and crying at every chance i got - so much so that i resorted to wearing my glasses instead of my contacts. That way, after a bathroom break of crying, i could simply attribute the red eyes to the fact that my eyes were sore. And the funny thing was - people believed me which made it even worse cos it just confirmed my belief that people didnt actually SEE me.
I got this cd with others and i hadnt even broken the seal. One day, i decided to sort through the cds that were not in Case Logics and i just decided to play it. For some insane reason (though i understand now the symbolism of this), my music player didnt play the cd from the beginning. It simply jumped to track 7 and started playing this song. For like 5 seconds, i was staring at the cd case and trying to figure out if what was playing was the intro. Then i looked at the track number and realised it was 7 and then i started looking at my remote control wondering what i had done. Suddenly, i got that feeling. That feeling of lightness. Like my head was expanding. Then i broke out in goose pimples, felt like i was about to cry and felt warm inside. I knew what all these meant. So i let the tears flow and sank to my knees. Listening and crying. That day, i listened to only this song and me being me, after hearing the song 3 times, i was singing along, eyes closed, hands raised to the heavens.
Yes - this song is monumental. I would like to say that immediately after that song, all was right. Nope. However, i got the greatest gift - a re-affirmation that God loves me, is always with me and that it shall be well. Simple but so powerful. With that re-affirmation, every moment got easier.
Yes this song is monumental.
I didnt sleep more than 2 hours last night. See, life is funny like that. Everything is great and peachy and then - blindsided by something - a statement, an action, a phone call. So i was blindsided at about 12.34am and managed to shut my eyes an hour later. I was up again at 3am and i have been up since.
This song is monumental because on days like today when the words to explain what's going on wont come and cant come because there are some things that just cannot be shared, i have turned to this song first before the other gospel songs i will listen to. Its monumental because it gives me hope that all will be well, that this storm too shall pass and that all will be well.
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