Monday, January 08, 2007


My maternal grandma is a character indeed. She needs a whole post dedicated to her but she is 83 and doesnt look and act a day over 65. She gave us all a scare over the past few days however. My mother was summoned to her house and rushed there to find my grandma unable to move, in bed and speech slurred. of course my mom broke down and she was rushed to the hospital.

Our family doctor rushed to examine her and after stabilizing her, getting on some drips and asking tons of questions, the diagnosis was in: DRUG ABUSE.

Yes. My grandma has been filling the same prescription she got when she was admitted in hospital about 10 years ago, she has been taking Codeine(?) that was not prescribed to her, she is diabetic and has been overtaking her medication. She takes herbal cleansers like Swedish Bitters which is supposed to last 2 weeks. My grandma finishes a bottle in 4 days. She is taking mega vitamins that we know of and on and on it goes. The doctor dispatched someone to her house to get all her pills and they arrived: In a yellow bucket. A bucket full of medication.

Add to this, my grandma fasts daily. She prays endlessly and at the end of the prayer session, she jumps 70 times for the father, 70 times for the son and 70 times for the holy spirit.

We were totally stunned and amused as well. My grandma tried to charm my doctor by speaking igbo but he was not having it, he scolded her well and truly and began to ask her questions. Who prescribed all this medicine for you? Well she heard they were good and she just would send people to the pharmacy. Why are you fasting? Oh just to thank my God. Why are you jumping up and down - she really looked stunned at this question and didnt bother to deignify it with an answer.

The doctor told us that this is such a common thing with older people. They just begin to overdo medication even vitamins and typically hide the pills from family. None of us had ever seen the yellow bucket before. We knew about a cute little tray with vitamins bought by my parents but not as bucket.

Thank God she is okay now. She has been warned about the medication and this hospital incident has yielded in hilarious results. She prays over all medication she takes now (and watching her do this is so funny), she is milking my mom for all she is worth. My mom has been waking up every morning and cooking for her and taking it to her house before going to her shop. Everytime we go and see her, she is lying in bed and playing the sick patient. Yesterday, we went by her house unannounced and lo and behold, my grandma was holding court in her bedroom and arguing about politics with her voice raised, alternating between english, yoruba and igbo and sounding and looking fit as a fiddle. As soon as we walked in, she kept quiet and told us she couldnt get up. LOL

So we are on to her tricks and my mom swore up and down she wasnt cooking for her anymore. My grandma looked so woeful and her sick act was back on. LOL


angie said...

Happy Nu yr girl!1
Ur granny story had me laughing. she sounds like a wonderful person.
Abeg continue to cook for granma oh!!

Bella Naija said...

That's such a cute story!
I'm glad it was nothing serious tho.
LOLZ @ jumping for the father, son and holy ghost..I should try that

have a great week

azuka said...

What a grand mom!

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

aww your granma sounds so wonderful. Im happy the drugs she used doesnt have pearmanent side effects and since are antiinflammatorys wears off after a period of time. The vitamins she takes are good for her. She just needs to know which ones to take daily. Stay blessed.

chainreader said...

hahahahh. your grandma is a comic! she's just enjoying all the extra attention she's getting. you can't blame her for that?

NaijaBloke said...

what will we do with our grannies ..I remember my grandmum asking me to help her buy 20 tablets of Valium,20 tablets of Lagatil and I think 20tablets of Librium one time which I did and it was later after we rushed her to UCH in Ibadan that I found out that the other 2 drugs apart from valium r actually used to suppress mentally depressed ppl by giving them just one tablets,so u can imagine her taking 20tablets o..

Funmi said...

Lol! Glad she is ok though.

Jaycee said...

LOLLLLLL @ ur grandma's sick pranks. Are u kidding??? Lolll...

In my head and around me said...

I laughed hard!! Never heard of anyone jumping for The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.

Your granny should be in the Nigerian Movie business.