Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Repost - What not to do on a date!

I went "off" dates after the incident below happened in August 2006... Now that the people around me seem once again intent on hooking me up with "the perfect person for me", i am giving myself permission to investigate the possibilities. I am still waiting for my blog lover............

My friday plans included a date with someone that had been touted as the best thing for me. Since friday was such a crappy day, i almost changed my mind but i wasnt ready to go home either so i figured i might just as well. Plus there was a going away do for the baby of my company who had just wrapped up her internship with us. Plus i went on this date daring anyone to call me out on it. I was so ready to spit fire.

Anyway, i walked into the restaurant and managed to smile as i said hello. Instead of regaling you with the details of this nonsense, i will simply list the no-no's and hope that young men will glean from this.

DO NOT start a conversation with "You look a lot like my ex girlfriend"

DO NOT stare at me incessantly and not say a word. And then turn around and tell me you have been told that you stare a lot

DO NOT tell me you are a really calm person except when provoked. And then proceed to regale me with the tale of how you beat up a WOMAN, who pressed charges against you and there was a trial that ensued in which you were found guilty. I did not bother to even ask.

DO NOT tell me that you hate white people because of what they did to "us"

DO NOT tell me you had no interest in seeing Pirates of the Carribean because Johnny Depp's role bothered you. Too much like a fag (exact words he said). Do not go on to bash gay people and tell me my tolerant attitude is as a result of being abroad for too long

DO NOT spend the time when you are not talking, checking out the premiership matches on the screens behind me. I love soccer but that's a bit much. Its bad enough you are watching the game, do not utter things like "Nice pass" at the same time.

DO NOT tell me that are running away from God at this point in your life.

Needless to say, i was ready to get out of there after 10 minutes but i was polite enough to have dinner. After that, i made my not so graceful escape .. i mean exit and hung out with my co-workers.

I would have had a better time going to a movie by myself. I have called the friend in question and given her a piece of my mind. No more dates for me for a while

19 comments:

LondonBuki said...

Ok... that sounds like a DISASTER!!!

You look like his ex-girlfriend???

Infact, every thing you said about him is annoying!!!

Daddy's Girl said...

He sounds like a total nightmare!!

Nyemoni said...

DUH!!! I especially loved the part about telling you he hates white people because of what they did to "us" LOL!

azuka said...

Those are definite no-nos! Such a wimp!

Noni Moss said...

Oh my gosh, i would have walked longest time or just started laughing at him. That was awfullllllll!

Soul said...

I woul have let him finish and then said ina very calm and polite voice...

And how exactly are those things supposed to be attractive, i'm sorry but I think I find you deplorable
and then left

Olawunmi said...

damn. sounds like this guy has been reading from the book, "how not to be a player while looking like a total loser, asshole"

i hope he at least tried to pay for dinner...

Uzo said...

@LB: That was the first thing he said to me. Can you imagine this?

@Daddy's Girl: You have no idea

@nyemoni: LOL. That was priceless.

@Azuka: He really felt mega cool with himself though

@noni moss: that's the side of me i hate sometimes. The polite, trying to not hurt feelings Uzo.

@ Soul: Ehm...LOL. Those are pretty strong words. LOL. Not sure if would ever say that......LOL

@Olawunmi: I didnt actually wait till the end of dinner. After i was done, i said i had to go to my co-worker's thing and i said good nite and fled. So the bill thing, i have no idea about. LOL

TaureanMinx said...

Oh wow, date from HELL.lol

Vera Ezimora said...

wow.

he's a joker. Aren't you just tired of being told, "you only think that way cause you've been abroad for so long..." *HISS*

What a waste of time 4 real.

Bella Naija said...

LMAO
I've been told the whole 'you look like my ex-girlfriend' thing tho but the guy was a really nice dude...everyone of his friends that met me said the same thing sooo I didnt really mind...

Anyways, ur date sounds like a real a**
We need to set up a 'do not date this dude' for some of these type of guys

DiAmOnD hawk said...

and im sooooooooo sure that someone else in the EXACT same position as you would have been like THIS IS MY DREAM GUY... *hiss* NONE SENSE!!!!

Calabar Gal said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Calabar Gal said...

Sounds like a date from hell. Dont try too hard and give urself space. Ur dream date/man will come around just when you're not looking. Cheers!!!

Vickii said...

You see, this is the problem with Nigerian women, you are too picky! This guy sounds like a perfectly nice guy, he compliments you when you walk in, is so mesmerised by your beauty that he loses the power of speech, he has strong erm beliefs ... lol! If anyone else had told me this story I would have thought they were exagerrating! You should have taken his picture and started a website www.neverdatethisman.com

Olawunmi said...

@ vickii: lol. you nailed that one! what a tosser!

Chxta said...

Seen this before, comment stands unchanged: He foolish.

snazzy said...

erm... I would just like to state for the record erm... that this young man is in no way representative of men in general and nigerian men in particular erm... it has been amply demonstrated that nigerian men in fact know what do do on dates and that this exception should in no way be taken as justification not to go on dates with nigerian men... in fact we the society for the advancement of nigerian dating (SAND) will pay for women that would be willing to go on dates with said nigerian men in order to show that this is in fact the case erm... this offer to pay women should also not be read as an indication that nigerian males cannot get dates on their own erm... in fact they are so busy going on dates that I have been instructed to withdraw the offer. Not because we at SAND are in any way cheap, but that these nigerian men have probably already asked you out.

NaijaBloke said...

Uzo dont tell me this really happened and u actually did not bail out ASAP?

Where did u meet this guy sef..