Soundbyte!

February 1st, 2007. Its love month. My second favorite month of the year. I love love and of course my theme for soundbytes this month will be love. Forever after love, broken hearts, God's love, maternal love, love turned to hate. Oh yeah! I am going to profile some of my favorite songs and every song will have a story.

Therefore, its only fitting that i start this month with:

Garth Brooks - Every now and then

I had totally forgotten this song till a few days ago when it started playing on my playlist and i got weak. This is a very special song to me. This song takes me back to my very young days and my first love.

My first love and i were a pretty cute couple and so innocent too. We wrote love letters to each other. I bought stationary - cute pink stationary just to write to him. We wrote to each other almost everyday even when we saw each other. We even had some sort of code that we slipped into the letters every now and again. We made mixed tapes for each other. He had a special name for me from a Stevie Wonder song. Oh...such bliss. He made me feel like no-one else mattered. When i was having a hard time with Maths, he helped out. When i got intimidated by some of the girls in our class that were also his friends, he tried to play peacemaker all the while making me realize i was the most important person in the whole thing. Family issues i could talk about with him. A trouble some ex on his side was discussed with no qualms. He was one of those super smart types that ended up leaving school early since he aced his exams. Even after he left, his sister and my brother became couriers for our letters. I got letters, cards, little personal things from him. He went away for a while and when he came back, he had kept a journal of sorts of every day he was away and i would read and re-read it every time i missed him. I think this relationship lasted over a year and it set my expectations for future relationships.

Anyway, i ran out of songs for him at some point so i went to my dad's cd collection and grabbed a Garth Brooks cd. I had never listened to it but i thought he might enjoy it. And he listened to it and pointed out a few of his favorites to me and this one was one of them. I remember it getting on one of the mixed tapes he made me. I heard this song and i just smiled. I remember every line of the song. Well my brain remembered it. After the second listen, it was as if i had been listening to this song everyday.

I really hope that people have special songs like these that just take you back to a place where everything was right. Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

And for the lovers..............

As i was driving home last night, i heard an ad on the radio for a valentine's show in Lagos on February 10th. The artists performing include: Chante Moore, Kenny Lattimore, 112, Donell Jones, Dbanj, Asa etc. This show will be held at Oceanview restaurant and the gate fee is N60,000.

I predict a lot of sweet music, ballads, some tears shed and maybe a kiss or 2

I WANT TO GO..............................

Soundbyte!

Staind - So far away

I love this band. Staind is one very cool alternative/rock band. This song started my love affair with them and its simply amazing. Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

From my heart

Ever since i started blogging, i have "met" some pretty amazing people but this post is dedicated to one in particular. This woman is absolutely amazing. She is smart and beautiful - i have never "seen" her but i have if that makes sense. I have gotten a peek at the person that she is and she blows me away with her words time after time. I can say that i respect her - she seems to be able to grab the world by the balls and still be her. She has sent me a present just because i mentioned interest in this. Without meeting me. She just did. Its uncanny how she can read my mind over and over.

Anyway, she has made me fall deeply, intensely in love with a man. Sure i had heard about him many times but i had never heard anything from him. Then she sent me a few words and this file and now i am a mess:

Robin Thicke - Superman

I am so good at compartmentalizing. See, i havent been very interested in matters of the heart lately. Just not bothered. So i have concentrated on work and family and stuff and just not given in to the voice of Luther (so unusual) or to the many love stories around me. Even the 2 weddings i am helping out with are not giving me butterflies. I am simply helping.

Then i hear this song and i start to cry. The words of this song are just amazingly beautiful. Wow amazing. The strings in the song first tugged at the corners of my heart and then i heard the voice and the words and i just started to bawl. A little hard to explain the tears at work but all of a sudden its yearning galore. Its all about me wanting and wanting and wanting because i deserve, deserve, deserve to have my own Superman. Not playthings for my amusement but my own Superman.

Do i say thank you to her or yell a loud screw you to her for making me feel like this? Not sure yet. LOL. But i like the way i am feeling right now. Not so hard and jaded. Will it last? Not sure about that either but a little chink in the armour is not a bad thing right?

So here's to you my sweet Soul - thank you

Soundbyte!

Its almost the end of January already. Wow. 2007 is off to a roaring start so i think its only fit that today's song be a praise/worship song:

David Mell - More than what people say

David is a Nigerian artist and this song just speaks to me. The first time i heard, i fell in love with it. The bridge of this song is in Igbo and its just so awesome.

I thank God everyday of course but this year - only 30 days in, has been amazing so far. When i look at myself - this ordinary woman, i wonder what it is about me that entitles me to all the grace and favour that come to me. It seems as if i dont make any extra efforts. I am just myself, but people around me marvel and God rewards me. Amazing isnt it.

My parents will say that when i was about 10 or so and in secondary school, i said to them "I am going to be great". I still say it to myself but my definition of greatness has changed. It used to be all about having and achieving but now, i say "i am going to have a great life". I will excel in whatever work i do, i will give my best to be the solid example for my siblings since i am the first. It makes me so proud to hear my baby sister tell me she is up studying at 2am so she can be like me. I am sure as she gets older, she will find her sense of self but for now, i am the one she defines her life by. Not my parents but me. I will dream massive, gigantic dreams. One of the dreams i have is to buy the National Theatre. The first time i said this to someone, he laughed and frankly that put me off him. I want to be with someone who will say "hmm. interesting. why? what are your plans for it? " Not laughter.

The point to all this rambling is that as long as i know that God has my back, i am not afraid to live and dream and be. If the greatness that has been destined for me will have me on the cover of every magazine around the world, so be it. If my greatness means i will be a fat, happy grandma like Big Mama in Soul Food, holding her family together by any means necessary, so be it.

Enjoy the song and listen to the words. God is more than what people say so as you commune with God and develop your personal relationship with your maker, realise that you can be more that what people say as long as you have God.

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

Just rambling.......

Today is a public holiday in Nigeria to allow all citizens to perform their civic duty and register to vote. I already registered so i am at work to tie up some loose ends. I intend to leave work early though to catch a movie. Ghana was busy but nice. I will be back there in a week or so. Here are some random fun things i came across and i have some of my comments next to each one:

1. Coca-Cola was originally green (Definitely would have been very unappetizing).

2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed (I read somewhere that the most common last name is Chang).

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with. (I wonder why)

4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (LOL. This is too obvious but i will be naughty and say this: Men do not have an excuse. Learn to flex the strongest muscle in your body guys. LOL)

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. (That would explain why most Americans are in debt)

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (Interesting i guess)

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men! (That's because we look, stare, evaluate and judge in nano seconds so our brains compensate by over blinking...LOL. Well that's my theory)

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. (Has anyone tried to do that?)

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow. (I actually tried to this when i first read this. Yup. Many times too. IT IS TRUE)

10. People say “Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond. (I sneeze in multiples. So my heart stops as many times as i sneeze? So can sneezing a lot of times, kill you then?)

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. (But why would they try to look at the sky?)

12. The “sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. (Bit my tongue trying to say this for the 3rd time)

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. (so i sneeze in multiples and my heart stops and i also stifle my sneezes. Its a deadly combination abi?)

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds – Julius Caesar. (What about the queens?)

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 (weird)

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. (Very random but interesting. Now i need to test this by finding some statues)

17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? Ans. – They were all invented by women .(Goooooooooo women...LOL)

18. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this? Ans. – Honey (I wonder why? )

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. (once again, why would it need to do this?)

20. A snail can sleep for three years. (LOL. Okaaaaay. Its not like snails have busy schedules and people to see and all)

21. All polar bears are left handed. (So the creatures that live in the North Pole are South paws? Get it? LOL

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class. (I have read this soooo many times. Its not like a lot of people even like olives anyway. Am i tight?)

23. Butterflies taste with their feet. (I am not averse to having a guy taste my feet. LOL)

24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (well they are quite heavy)

25 In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. (Really?)

26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death. (Well..Spiders are yucky but dont scare me)

27. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'. (well he is the original wordsmith)

28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand. (why cant i type the word with both hands?)

29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (LOL. What would intoxicate an ant?)

30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (He He He. I wonder what he/she was thinking)

31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (i would assume that if this happens, the person would be dead....)

32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. (Scum of the earth. Death to all rats i say. Dirty vermin....Hate them)
33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
(Another reason to not share headphones)

34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match (No comment)

35. Most lipstick contains fish scales. (I wonder if the guys that are allergic to fish will get a reaction from kissing....)
36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different (So if you suspect your partner of cheating, can you get a CSI evidence kit and dust for prints and compare it with your suspect?)

37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow (I already did this. Admit you did too)

Soundbyte!

Happy Monday! Today's song is an old one - from the 90's and it is soooooo good:

BBD - Poison

I remember this song in an era of multi colored hooded tops and jeans. A time when i was in boarding school and we had social nights.

I am sure most people remember that Bell Biv Devoe were originally members of New Edition and they had some pretty hot songs with this one arguably being the biggest. Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

What do you think?

I read this article in Time magazine and i just wanted to get your views and opinions on this. Since no one has taken my search for a blog lover seriously, i am going to adopt a few for myself. Watch out for me in the comments section of some blogs. I am off to Ghana tonight for work so have a safe and blessed weekend..............

Ashley, now 9 is a severely brain damaged girl whose parents feared that as she got bigger, it would be harder to care for her the way they wanted to. So they set to keep her small. Through high dose estrogen treatment over the past 2 years, her growth plates were closed and her prospective height reduced by about 33cm. Her parents say "her smaller and lighter size make it more possible to include her in the typical family life & activities that provide her with much needed comfort such as car trips, touch, meal times etc"

Doctors removed her uterus - to prevent potential discomfort from mentrual cramps and pregnancy in the event of rape. Her breast buds were removed become of a family history of cancer and fibrocystic disease. Her parents say she has no need for breasts since she wont breast feed and their presence will be a source of discomfort since the harness strap;s that hold her upright go across her chest.

A 40 member ethics committee of Seattle Children's Hospital had to seat and evaluate this case. Doctors argue that her smaller size has medical as well as emotional benefits. It will make it easier for her to be moved which will mean better circulation, digestion and muscle condition & fewer sores and infections. The doctors concluded that they could remove her uterus and breasts because she would be better off without them; they could keep her short because, since she will never hold a job or a romance, she wont suffer the social consequences of being short. To those that say she should have a right to grow, the head of the ethics committee says Ashley has no concept of these things.

Are her parents justified in taking these drastic steps?

Soundbyte!

Another very very sexy man that croons in a foreign language. I love this man and i adore this song:

Alejandro Sanz - Quisera Sei

I first heard about him while i was still in college and i fell in love with his voice. When it was time to pick my language elective, i will admit that i took Spanish partly because of this man's voice.

He then released an unplugged cd that is one of the most played discs in my collection. This song was done with Destiny's Child and those girls headed by Beyonce, BASTARDIZED the song. But Alejandro held fast. LOL

I adore this song. It makes me want to grab a partner and begin to sashay across the room. Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

Repost - What not to do on a date!

I went "off" dates after the incident below happened in August 2006... Now that the people around me seem once again intent on hooking me up with "the perfect person for me", i am giving myself permission to investigate the possibilities. I am still waiting for my blog lover............

My friday plans included a date with someone that had been touted as the best thing for me. Since friday was such a crappy day, i almost changed my mind but i wasnt ready to go home either so i figured i might just as well. Plus there was a going away do for the baby of my company who had just wrapped up her internship with us. Plus i went on this date daring anyone to call me out on it. I was so ready to spit fire.

Anyway, i walked into the restaurant and managed to smile as i said hello. Instead of regaling you with the details of this nonsense, i will simply list the no-no's and hope that young men will glean from this.

DO NOT start a conversation with "You look a lot like my ex girlfriend"

DO NOT stare at me incessantly and not say a word. And then turn around and tell me you have been told that you stare a lot

DO NOT tell me you are a really calm person except when provoked. And then proceed to regale me with the tale of how you beat up a WOMAN, who pressed charges against you and there was a trial that ensued in which you were found guilty. I did not bother to even ask.

DO NOT tell me that you hate white people because of what they did to "us"

DO NOT tell me you had no interest in seeing Pirates of the Carribean because Johnny Depp's role bothered you. Too much like a fag (exact words he said). Do not go on to bash gay people and tell me my tolerant attitude is as a result of being abroad for too long

DO NOT spend the time when you are not talking, checking out the premiership matches on the screens behind me. I love soccer but that's a bit much. Its bad enough you are watching the game, do not utter things like "Nice pass" at the same time.

DO NOT tell me that are running away from God at this point in your life.

Needless to say, i was ready to get out of there after 10 minutes but i was polite enough to have dinner. After that, i made my not so graceful escape .. i mean exit and hung out with my co-workers.

I would have had a better time going to a movie by myself. I have called the friend in question and given her a piece of my mind. No more dates for me for a while

Soundbyte!

It just occurred to me that i havent featured a ballad on my soundbyte in a few days. Gasp! No way....How on earth did that happen to the queen of all things love related? Therefore, my song for today is:

Connor Reeves - Earthbound

I "met" Mr Reeves when i was still in university and instantly fell in love with this song. Its a bittersweet song of sorts but so intense. Mr Reeves didnt do as well as i hoped career wise. I only remember this song and another "Father & Son" to his credit which is a shame. Anyway some of the lines from this song are:

"Because your love - it lifted me above it all
Without it, its leaving me so far to fall"

Intense. And the whole song is like that. The title of the song alludes to the fact that being in love with this woman had him flying, in another world and now that that love is gone, he is earthbound. *Sigh* Enjoy!

*If you would like this long, leave me an email address in the comments section*

Seeking...............

After the hoopla being raised over the Taurean Minx, Boorish Male and Vera "threesome" of sorts, i am JEALOUS. I want a blog lover too. Therefore, consider this as a notice for applications to all bloggers willing to indulge in a little "blog romance".

Hot blooded male bloggers should be willing to leave some saccharine sweet and romantic messages in the comment section of various posts. Comments to include how dazzling i am, how wonderful my words are, the sleepless nights had over me etc. A vivid imagination is a plus. I expect to have scenarios painted to include walks down a beach in the Seychelles, an indoor picnic with lots of finger foods etc. I am a simple girl so i also expect to see scenarios that revolve around local delights....Chosen blogger must also be willing to make outrageous statements along the lines of crossing the china wall for me and must be willing to take on any bloggers - anonymous or known that hurt my feelings in anyway. As Valentine's day approaches, i expect to be dazzled with some outrageous, over the top gesture of our "relationship" in blogsville.

Male blogger must also be willing to go through a process of elimination and the input of blogsville might be sought as well. Anonymous applicants will be considered as well.


Unserious people need not apply or indicate interest. A picture is also not necessary as this will not culminate in a real life meeting. No requests for phone numbers will be paid attention to either. Please leave any indications of interest in the comments sections.

For help in the words/romance departments, please feel free to seek assistance from the internet or friends or visit the following blogs: Boorish Male and Olawunmi's blogs. I will also be willing to send some intense words from one of my favorite ex bloggers Delot.

Let the applications roll in......LOL

Soundbyte!

One of the sexiest men alive in my view. Hearing this man's voice has me in a tizzy. I own almost every cd ever released and i ADORE this man. My song today is (drumroll please!!!!):

Prince - Kiss

Oh where do i begin...The changing tones of this sexy man's voice, the video is hot, hot, hot with the slithering bodies and his wiggling ehm backside. Here's the thing, Prince is not Gary Dourdan who is MY MAN but there is something about him that i just adore. Hard to describe.

Back to the song: it was featured in a scene from pretty woman. Julia is taking a bath while Richard Gere is on the phone with that sleazeball lawyer of his. She has headphones in her ear and she is singing along and looks adorable and Richard just has this smile on her face.........

I love this song because its upbeat, playful (you should see me pucker my lips as i finish the chorus).

Ah the wonders and joy of Prince....Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

The highlight of my weekend

The fuel situation in Lagos means i have had to "ration" my journeys. Aside from the fact that all my crying and emotional rollercoaster of the past few days had taken their toll and manifested in a very weird cold/body ache thing, i just wasnt up to socializing at all this weekend. I had made plans with my new friend/fellow blogger - Daddy's Girl to see a bollywood flick at Silverbird on Sunday and since the Arsenal/Man U game was on that day as well, the plan was for my brother to hangout at Cubes with some guys while we got our movie on.

At about 1.30pm, my brother and I went to see my parents and let them know we were off. My mom looked at us and said "You guys look nice oh. Are you guys on your way to see Aunty V already?"

"Ehn?" - this was me complete with a look of confusion on my face.

My mom called out to my dad. When he came, she said "Didnt you tell these kids that that they are going to see Aunty V today?

My dad said "No. I thought you said you would tell them"

To which my mom replied "Ah. I thought we agreed that you would tell them"

Once that laughable attempt to place blame on each other was out of the way, both parents turned to us and smiled. My mom said "Oh. Did you people have plans? Sorry oh. Aunty V came from the village earlier in the week and she is staying with Uncle J (her son). She called us to say she wanted to see you guys today. Sorry oh."

At this point, i had started with the whole "but we have plans; we cant make it; cant we go next weekend?";....on and on i went. My brother was beginning to breathe funny, a sign that he was getting quite pissed.

My dad stepped in and said "maybe you wont have to go. Call your uncle to explain the situation to him. He will understand"

I picked up my phone ready to twist my words around to ensure we got out of this situation. My uncle picked up the phone and before i said a word he went "Uzi dear. I am almost at your house to get you guys. I hope you are ready because i am very hungry and my mom has cooked so much food for you".

Of course i said okay and hung up. So there we were on our way to a forced afternoon of "fun".

We got to his place and even though we were both fuming, we had to smile and pretend that we were absolutely thrilled to be there. At about 4pm, we mentioned that we were ready to go home. We figured we could at least be at home watching the game in peace. Nope. My uncle insisted that we stay in his house and watch the game. So ended up being there till 8pm.

We are still not talking to our parents.........

Soundbyte!

Happy Monday everyone.

Very recent song that i really really like:

Ne-Yo - Sexy Love

Its cute, its catchy....what else is there to say? I have no memories associated with this song, except the fact that it was my ring tone for a while and i would never pick up my phone on time which had people at work crossing their eyes at me. Whatever!

Anyway, i think Ne-Yo has some talent so i hope he doesnt end up being a one album wonder. Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

The end of life

I went to Tolu's funeral yesterday and it was one of the hardest things that i have ever had to do. I cried and cried till i could cry no more. A friend of mine - Tosin held my hand throughout. When the casket was being lowered, my knees actually gave way and Tosin had to hold me up.

When i got back to the office, i couldnt think and i guess the whole office was numb as well. I just shut down and went home. Didnt say too many words at home. Just went to my room and laid in the darkness till i fell asleep. I dreamt that i was stuck in the cemetary and couldnt find the way out so i kept going in circles and seeing some of the same headstones over and over again. I woke up sweating but remarkably calm

Why has this death hit me so hard? I am not sure. Maybe its because i saw her and witnessed her joy that day. Maybe its because of her age. Maybe its because of Chukwuma. Maybe its because it reminded me of my own mortality. Maybe its because i cant see what makes me different from her. Maybe its because, there are so many things i want to do and it seems that there is so little time. Maybe i am just scared.

Its all over now and life must go on right? But with a new perspective about things......

Women's Issue - "Half Widows"

This piece is not only a women's issue post but also sheds some light on government practices.

SRINAGAR, India - Nearly 17 years ago, Tahira Begum fought with her parents to marry her sweetheart, Tariq Ahmad Rather. The two families were not on good terms at the time, but in the end the marriage went through.

Today she's fighting a very different battle: for help confirming that her husband, who disappeared while traveling on business to New Delhi in 2002, has been killed in the ongoing war in Kashmir, the disputed border region between India and Pakistan. Now 35, Begum became one of the thousands of Kashmir's "half-widows," wives whose husbands are lost in the limbo between missing and confirmed death. "From that time I have been visiting every police station and every army camp in the state for the hope of finding any clue," Begum says tearfully of her efforts to find her husband, a civil contractor with a federal hydroelectric company. She says some people said they saw her husband in army custody, but she has no proof of anything.

Indian-administered Kashmir has been a flashpoint between India and Pakistan since the end of British colonial rule in 1947. During the current insurgency, which started in 1989, many people have vanished, presumed killed or imprisoned without trial or record. The death toll in the current conflict amounts to somewhere between 40,000 and 90,000, depending on the source.
During the last 15 years the Association of Parents of Disappeared Persons, an organization of the relatives of the disappeared in Kashmir, claims that about 10,000 people have been subjected to enforced disappearances by state agencies, mostly taken by armed personnel. Of the disappeared, they say between 2,000 and 2,500 people were married, and almost all were males.

"There are organizations fighting for land, water, rights, money, freedom, et cetera," says Parveena Ahanger, chair of the Association of Parents of Disappeared Persons, based in the Kashmiri summer capital of Srinagar. "We are fighting to obtain just a piece of information about the whereabouts of our disappeared relatives." Ahanger's son Javid Ahmad Ahanger was picked up by security forces on Aug. 18, 1990, when he was 16; since then she has not heard from him.
India denies any connection to the abductions and says fewer than 1,000 people have disappeared. It says most of the missing have gone to the Pakistan-administered side of Kashmir for training in guerrilla warfare. The Indian administration has confirmed 135 such missing persons as dead.

Seven-Year Limbo
The wives of the missing often can't remarry. Not only do they lack proof of being widowed, their observance of Islam often means they must wait at least seven years before taking another husband. The Indian government's policy is to deny the half-widows any relief before the expiration of seven years. At that point they can receive the standard relief offered to widows who have lost husbands to the insurgency; either a one-time grant of between $1,000 and $2,000 or a monthly pension of about $10. To date the government has provided relief to 400 half-widows. Activists estimate there are between 2,000 and 2,500 such women.

Nearly all the half-widows are from lower-income families and were entirely dependent on their husbands, activists say. During the seven-year waiting period, the women's rights to their husbands' property are often threatened, says Pervez Imroz, a human-rights lawyer who spearheads the Human Rights group Jammu Kashmir Coalition of Civil Societies, based in Srinagar.

Property Rights Denied
Imroz says the half-widows are often denied any share of their husbands' property by their in-laws. Some in-laws may recognize their property rights, but still restrict or infringe upon them in various ways. "With their husbands gone missing they have been left in the open sky," Imroz says. " The government is making just the tall claims and the situation is almost as similar as it was some years ago."

Imroz's group has started a couple of training centers for half-widows and other women hurt by the region's militancy. The group is also documenting the history of Kashmir after the insurgency period and plans to provide a detailed account of the number killed and injured, the amount of damaged property and other measures of the human toll. The coalition has withstood at least two direct armed attacks on their activists in the past five years, during which two of their female workers were killed. Imroz was shot in the back during a 1995 attack and survived an assassination attempt in April 2005. His attackers are not identified but activists say it is dangerous to raise charges and questions of human rights violations such as those suffered by the half-widows. Many nongovernmental organizations avoid discussing the half-widows for fear of official reprisal.

Park Demonstrations
In a public plea for help in attaining information about the missing men, the Association of Parents of Disappeared Persons organizes a group of about two or three dozen half-widows--including Begum--to assemble at a central public park in Srinagar on the 25th of each month for a sit-in protest. Those who turn up have been missing their husbands for as long as 17 years. Many cry openly. As they hold photographs of their husbands in their hands and the names printed on their white headgears, the women have become an embarrassment for the authorities, who often break up the demonstrations. The women put a foundation stone in a graveyard as a group memorial in April 2005, but within hours the police destroyed it.

"It is a hard situation for them," says Peerzada Arshad, a local journalist, who has covered the plight of the half-widows extensively for national newspapers. "The wives of missing husbands known as half-widows can't re-marry as the death of their husbands has not been confirmed, the children can't differentiate themselves between the two categories of orphans and non-orphans, and the grandparents long for a resolution, for one moment of a complete family."

Fahmeeda Bano, 37, lives in a remote village of Kupwara south of Kashmir and has visited almost all the police stations and army camps in Kashmir. Still, sorrow haunts her. Her husband was picked up by the Indian army 14 years ago. "If my husband is alive I want to see him," she says. "I want the authorities to tell me where he is. If he has been killed let them hand over his body to me."

Soundbyte!

Eva Cassidy - Get ready

Eva is one of my favorite singer/songwriters and a pretty recent discovery for me. I heard this song for the first time in 2004. I went on a hunt to find all her music and wondered why i had never heard about her. She died in 1996 at the age of 33 and like most true artists, gained recognition post humously. If pure music from a beautiful voice is your thing, i would urge you to find Eva's Songbird cd which is a compilation of her stuff to start with.

This song is very interesting. If you are a Bob Marley fan, you will recognise some of the lyrics from One Love/People get ready. She took some of those lyrics as a foundation for this song, added faith and a train and voila....a truly feel good song. And its balm for my soul today. Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

After the news

So Tolu is going to be buried today at Ikoyi Cemetary. I really feel that i HAVE to go. Cemetaries freak me out and i am scared of coffins but i feel that i have to be there for Chukwuma, that i just have to be there. There is something about this that is speaking to my soul and i just feel that i have to go. Does this make sense?

Soundbyte!

Sound Sultan - Area

I have just fallen in love with this song. I have never been a fan of this artist but i was at Game a few weeks ago and this song was playing and i actually stopped to listen to it and could not believe how pure and beautiful it was. I asked who the artist was and voila.

I guess i also feel so strongly about this song because i made the decision to come back home and i have to control myself when talking to friends abroad that swear up and down that they are NEVER coming home. I want to scream at them and i just dont get it. I always control myself though because i realise that people should be able to make choices that fit their lives. I rejoice in every returnee (as i call myself) and am so proud to give them the schpill about home and where to go and companies and everything. So far, my brother has taken that mad step and as we speak, he has met with 4 companies all eager to have his talents. I have a pretty close friend in New Jersey who God willing will be making this move in September or so and another friend in the UK who will be home to stay when she comes for the holidays.

I look around when i go out and i see my age mates and people in my generation having a good time. I meet with clients and i recognise people i know or used to know. I find out the ages of the entrepreneurs or leaders of certain organisations and i see only 5 - 10 years that separate us. I am excited about this. Sure my wonderful, raped Nigeria has issues - a lot of it self inflicted but i REFUSE to speak of her as a lost cause, i REFUSE to join the many that say derogatory things about her. I get defensive when some say she will never rise. I have worked in 2 countries and i have never felt as much pride and a sense of ownership as i do here.

This is my home. This is where i believe i will fulfill the destiny that God has for me. This is where i can make a difference. These people are my brothers and sisters. And i believe in the words of Maya Angelou - "Still i rise"

Enjoy the song.

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

Life

Does anyone remember the post i did in December about my office christmas party? Where i went on and on about how much fun it was? Well an important fact i omitted to mention is the fact that one of the men i work with proposed to his girlfriend at the party. The party was on December 14th.

I got into the office this morning and was met with the news that girlfriend/fiance died this morning. She had pneumonia and had been admitted for the past 2 days. A delegation of people from the office were getting ready to rush to St Nicholas when his brother called us to push the visit back. That this strong self assured man had broken down in the hospital, was yelling, throwing things and threatening to beat anyone in sight and had to be physically removed from the hospital.

This girl i met at the party is my age mate - maybe even younger (25) and she was so happy at the party. We danced with her trying to make her feel welcome with the office folks. I even cracked a joke about the ring. He got the ring from H.Samuel and i said something about the accounts department being audited since he works in that department to ensure all the funds were in order. She was so gorgeously dressed at the party and was a perfect size 4

Now, i just started to cry. Simply because i dont get what the point of living is. This girl had finished university and was working. She had moved on to the next logical step - getting married and then she dies.

So what is the point of all the drama we put ourselves through? Why am i spending a fortune on books, cds, jewelery that i havent gotten a chance to enjoy? Why are there so many unworn shoes in my closet? Why am i killing myself and depriving myself to lose weight? What the hell is the point of working and planning a damn career when tommorrow is not promised?

What the hell is the point of it all? God works in mysterious ways it is said. So i need to know the reason why a 25 year old young woman, a year younger than me is dead this morning. I need to know why the love of Chukwuma's life is gone. The woman he was to spend the rest of his life with. How is he going to deal with this? How will her family deal with this?

What is the damn point of it all?

Nigeria's new president?

So there was a headline in a nigerian paper a few days ago: "Presidential plan spoils Yar'Adua'a plan". I read it and didnt think anything of it till today.

The story says that Yar'adua had already accepted a teaching position at the Ahmadu Bello University after his tenure as governor ended. This plan was thwarted upon his pick as PDP presidential candidate.

Okay: So he obviously had no desire to be president. He was just picked. This also means, he has no agenda and has given no thought to plans for the country. So whose agenda and plans will he be espousing? Okay so i know the answer to this question but still...

Rumous have circulated about his state of health ever since The Economist stated categorically that he has kidney problems and is actually on dialysis. He doesnt look physically fit to anyone. Well, after weeks of not addressing this issue and then denying this, Obasanjo in a press conference, acknowledged his illness but said "God has healed him since .....(in stated the year but i dont remember)"

So our options so far: Yar'Adua (the puppet for Obasanjo's 3rd term afterall), Buhari (i dont know much about him and his politics but words like dictator seem to trail him) and Atiku (who hasnt done the preferred thing and resigned and played dead but has continued to hound Obasanjo and his administrationand expose them little by little. He is however, very corrupt and quite the thief)....

The future seems very bright for Nigeria wouldnt you say?

Soundbyte!

Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

After my soundbyte of yesterday, i thought it was fitting to have this song up. Its a classic for our generation and got tons and tons of airplay.....Enjoy

*If you would like this song, please leave me an email address in the comments section*

Soundbyte!

Happy Monday!

I hate mondays and i think i have made that point over and over on this blog. Today is no better. People at work are already giving me a wide berth until about noon when the incredible hulk in me retreats. This song is doing wonders for me so far.

One of my favorite groups ever is Queen. Its a bit of a suprise to many but i love, love Queen. They epitomize true talent to me. A typical Queen song, can start out as a ballad and then all of a sudden, some salsa comes through and then some superb guitar riffs taking you on a rollercoaster ride. I was thoroughy gutten when the lead singer Freddie Mecury died of Aids in the early 90's i believe. The chosen song today is:

Queen ft David Bowie - Under pressure

It sounds familiar doesnt it? Yup. That would be because the one hit wonder with the few silver strands in his over coiffed do stole this song and didnt acknowledge it. Does anyone remember the MTV interview when he asked about this and his infamous words were something like this: "They are so different man. Mine goes Ta Ta Ta Ta and theirs goes Ta Ta Ta Ta (at this point he dips a note or 2). I guess that made all the difference.

Anyway, i love this song and i think its a fitting introduction to Queen for those that have never heard a track from them. Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

Book Reading

After months of trying to find this book, the lawyer in my office picked up the phone and made a call to the good folks at Farafina and a lady just brought my copy of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Half of a yellow sun.

Here's the thing: There is a book signing and interactive session on this book TODAY. If you are a fan, live in Lagos and want to attend, here are the details:

Venue: Bookworm Ltd. Unit 6 & 7 Eko Hotel Shopping Complex, Ajose Adeogun Street, VI

Time: From 5pm

I think it will be interesting.....

Women's Issue - Wombs for rent

This is my first women's issue post for the year and i intend to have a post every friday on various issues pertaining to women around the world.

The subject of surrogate mothers is not a new one. But i think most of us are more familiar with cases where the surrogate is known to the couple and lives usually within the same city/state. Last year, i began to see articles about wombs for rent cross country. The article belowi think provides enough information as to how this practice works. After reading, what are your thoughts on this practice?

ANAND, India — As temp jobs go, Saroj Mehli has landed what she feels is a pretty sweet deal. It's a nine-month gig, no special skills needed, and the only real labor comes at the end — when she gives birth. If everything goes according to plan, Mehli, 32, will deliver a healthy baby early next year. But rather than join her other three children, the newborn will be handed over to an American couple who are unable to bear a child on their own and are hiring Mehli to do it for them.

She'll be paid about $5,000 for acting as a surrogate mother, a bonanza that would take her more than six years to earn on her salary as a schoolteacher in a village near here. "I might renovate or add to the house, or spend it on my kids' education or my daughter's wedding," Mehli said. Beyond the money, she said, there is the reward of bringing happiness to a childless couple in the United States, where such a service would cost them thousands of dollars more, not to mention the potential legal hassles.

Driven by many of the same factors that have led Western businesses to outsource some of their operations to India in recent years, an increasing number of infertile couples from abroad are coming here in search of women such as Mehli who are willing, in effect, to rent out their wombs. The trend is evident to doctors such as Indira Hinduja, perhaps India's most prominent fertility specialist, who receives an inquiry from overseas every other week.

It can also be detected on the Internet, where a young Indian woman recently posted an ad on a help-wanted website offering to carry a child for an expatriate Indian couple. Then there is the dramatic example of Mehli's family. Two of her sisters have already served as surrogates — one of them for foreigners — and so has a sister-in-law. Mehli finally decided to join in, with the enthusiastic consent of her husband, a barber, and the guidance of a local doctor who has become a minor celebrity by arranging more than a dozen surrogacies in the last two years, for both Indian and non-Indian couples.

Some see the practice as a logical outgrowth of India's fast-paced economic growth and liberalization of the last 15 years, a perfect meeting of supply and demand in a globalized marketplace. "It's win-win," said S.K. Nanda, a former health secretary here in Gujarat state. "It's a completely capitalistic enterprise. There is nothing unethical about it. If you launched it somewhere like West Bengal or Assam" — both poverty-stricken states — "you'd have a lot of takers. "Others aren't so sure about the moral implications, and are worried about the exploitation of poor women and the risks in a land where 100,000 women die every year as a result of pregnancy and childbirth.

Rich couples from the West paying Indian women for the use of their bodies, they say, is distasteful at best, unconscionable at worst. "You're subjecting the life of that woman who will be a surrogate to some amount of risk," said C.P. Puri, director of the National Institute for Research in Reproductive Health in Mumbai (formerly Bombay). "That is where I personally feel it should not become a trade. "

Both sides of the debate agree that the fertility business in India, including "reproductive tourism" by foreigners, is potentially enormous. Current figures are tough to pin down, but the Indian Council of Medical Research estimates that helping residents and visitors beget children could bloom into a nearly $6-billion-a-year industry. "It's definitely going to increase with education and literacy, especially in a country like India," said Gautam Allahbadia, a fertility specialist in Mumbai who recently helped a Singaporean couple find an Indian surrogate. He has received similar inquiries from the United States, Israel and Spain.

A Mini Baby Boom
In the vanguard of the nascent industry is this small city, where gynecologist Nayna H. Patel is presiding over a mini baby boom. But eight of her recent and imminent arrivals won't be adding to Anand's population of 100,000: Three of the infants are destined for the U.S., two for Britain and three for other parts of India. (Six more surrogacy attempts were unsuccessful.) Before Patel's practice began attracting national and international notice, Anand was famous for decades as the milk capital of India, home to the country's most successful dairy farmer cooperative. Now the town also boasts about 20 young women who have volunteered to be implanted with embryos at Patel's clinic. A few have already gone through the process once and are eager for a second go-round.

Prospective foreign clients hear of Patel through word of mouth or informal online networks and websites dealing with infertility issues. By the time they contact her, and spend the time, energy and money to get here, they are usually desperate for children and often emotionally battered after years of trying and failing to conceive. Patel has set some criteria for those she'll help: only childless couples in which the wife is either infertile or physically unable to carry a fetus to term.

Soundbyte!

I realize that a lot of people like songs not necessarily music. The more popular songs that get tons of radio play are staples but there are so many amazing songs out there and i have decided that my soundbyte portion of my blog will feature the popular tracks because they mean something to me but also the not so popular songs from artists that a lot of people might not have heard of. I guess this would be my attempt to help people diversify their music tastes.

Pretty Woman ranks as one of my favorite movies and true to form, i have the soundtrack. What a cd. Anyway, the song for today is from that soundtrack and its:

Peter Cetera - No Explantation

I had never heard about this guy until i heard this song. Its a really powerful song about a relationship ending and him not even knowing about it. Basically leaving with no explanation. Its just a nice song that i cant get enough of. Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

The return of the prince

After so many years of being away getting 2 degrees and working, one of the most important men in my life, my protector, the joy of my heart is back home. When he announced to me that he was going to be moving back home, i was elated.

We have always been close and even with the distance that separated us when we hit our teens, we always made the effort to visit each other, usually meeting at home. Phone calls and emails we used as well just to make sure we had our time to talk.

He is none other than my brother - Chiweizu Abiodun Amuta - Everyone calls him Chief (a post for another day).

I am the first of four and he follows. He turned 24 in December and he is just amazing to me. Everyone calls him Chief. My parents tell me that he was born a very big, bald, wide eyed baby. Bald? Now, he needs to get a hair cut every week. Big - he is about 6ft tall and is wide (all muscle). When he arrived last night, he is still huge but smaller. Less weights now i think but looking as handsome and as trendy as the British like to dress. I saw him last year but this time is different, he is back for good. To go through what i went through and begin to write his name in the success journals of our generation.

My brother is amazing. He is a peacemaker. Slow to anger but when he gets mad, his eyes turn red and he begins to do this heaving thing which is a sign to all close by to clear the room. He is arty in the sense that he has a master's degree in film studies and intends to make his mark in film. My brother watches movies like Spiderman but is not much into commercial movies. He is into grittier, realer flicks like City of God and The Motorcycle Diaries. He writes amazingly well. Not like me. I write easily. I write using easy words and about everyday things. Not like my dad as well. My dad writes intellectually. Well researched and well used words. My brother writes from a viewpoint far beyond his years. He can write a screenplay about Abacha and you get a feel that he was there. In the minds of the generals and power players. He wants to make movies like Schindler's List - movies about Nigeria and Nigerian life but not Nollywood style. He likes the idea of making documentaries and i have had dreams of my brother accepting an Oscar for Best Foreign Film.

He likes music like me. But not the commercial stuff. He loves Cuban music from artists i cant recognize, true hip hop and likes Nas for some reason. He loves African artists like Rekia Traore and is very into the Nigerian scene. My brother will sit down and watch an Indian movie with me - not because he is interested in Shah Rukh Khan but for the technicality of it. The way scenes are shot, camera angles, even artist positions within scenes.

He loves to read. Sure he reads fction but more along the likes of Tom Clancy and James Patterson than Robert Ludlum. He reads more true/documentary stle books. Like about the american revolution or about the life of Idi Amin. He is a huge Che Gueverra fan and let's not start on politics. While i will discuss what's happening in the Palestinian/Isreali conflict today, he will acknowledge me and tell me how it all began and the key players. My brother can spin a conspiracy theory around anything and have you reeling. While trying to process the absurdity and incredulity of his yarn, he laughs and will say something like"I am just trying to let you realise that there is always more than meets the eye"

This is a young man that plays Tuface's African Queen for my mom everytime he is home. He adores his sisters in a way that makes us all rest easy. Nobody can mess with us. Even my parents. He willstand in the gap for us and will do anything for us.

He loves beans and dodo and can eat that all day, everyday. He doesnt like fish but loves fanta. Not a huge fruit person but will manage to eat a serving a day to avoid getting speeches from us.

I can go on and on about him but the bottom line is that i love this man madly and i am excited that he is back home. I know he is destined for greatness and i believe that Nigeria is not ready for what he has to offer but he will drag us all kicking and screaming as he redefines entertainment in this country. And when the time comes for him to accept his Oscar, my family will be there of course. But i will be there, in my Armani dress, crying and hollering and clapping and making a fool of myself as the world recognises this amazing man.

Oh and i am looking forward to all the presents i shall be getting from the young ladies as they try to get close to him. Its happened before and i am sure it will continue to happen.

Soundbyte!

I LOVE THIS SONG.

Okay, its a blast from the past and i bet everyone knows this song and rocked to it at some point:

Color Me Badd - Sex you up

Where do i begin? This was one very strangely put together group. I mean, i dont know if they were friends or what. They were just like a bunch of random people put together. Nonoe of them was drop dead gorgeous. Not a boy band. And they werent sexy. They didnt dress sexy or cool particularly. But they managed to have a couple of hits with this one being the biggest by far.

"Come inside, take off your coat, i'll make you feel at home/Now let's have a glass of wine, cos now we're all alone/I've been waiting for you so just let me hold u close to me/Cos i've been dying for you girl to make love to me/Ooooooooooooooooh/"

I know every word to this song. I can deliver it in one breath while swaying my body gently from side to side. Its a sexy song but its not sleazy or crass. Ehm...Sex you up as oppsed to what? Sex you down, back, sideways....LOL

Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, please leave an email address in the comments section*

Naijabloke, what is your email address so i can send you the dbanj song?

Soundbyte!

Today's song is from one of the most successful african artists ever:

Koffi Olomide - Calvaire.

Though Koffi is a Congolese soukous artist, he is actually Ghanaian. His father is ghanaian and his mom is congolose. I was first introduced to his music while i was in university. We had one of out african nights coming up and some friends of mine from East Africa decided that we would all dance to Koffi Olomide's 'Loi'. These girls - one from Kenya, one from Tanzania and one from Malawi began to wind waists and move and show us what a difference in bodies we had. One of them was full figured and she was actually more of a pleasure to watch than the others. These girls would stand still and their waists and backsides would move as if they were separate appendages. Now of course, it more commonplace with makossa and all but back then, i had never seen anything like it.

I especially love this song because it is pretty mellow and just so easy. My body moves gently and i wonder what is being said in that romantic language - french. Enjoy.

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

Repost - The deadliest weapon

I wrote this piece in September, 2006. Its an interesting way of thinking but my mind works in very very interesting ways.

Everytime i turn on the television, tune in to my favorite radio station or go through the dailies, its all about the instruments of death used by people to hurt each other. Its all about the weapons of mass destruction that havent been found in Iraq, the uranium that Iran seems to be playing with, the bombs used in Iraq, even humans turning themselves into bombs and killing. Of course these weapons are deadly. They extinguish physical life.

I think of another hidden weapon that can kill souls and spirits. Its around us and we all use it at least once a day. The telephone. It doesnt matter if its the fanciest cellphone or the old school dial phone. The telephone. It makes sense in my mind. Here's the way i see it:

We have all become so busy these days that rather than taking the time to visit or write letters, we make a quick call, reassure people we are alright and get back to the rat race. Or send a quick text message to say we will be late or even to get directions. Losing the personal communication that created bonds. Killing our souls a little bit at a time.

With that person you are just getting to know, endless hours spent chatting on the phone. Exploring each other and being totally uninhibited. Lulled into a sense of security by the voice on the other end. Building dreams and making plans using a simple device. Possibilities and expectations created and nurtured. Then you actually begin to spend time with that person, or meet that person....then you realise its all a sham. You cant stick this person. The real person without the phone isnt your cup of tea. Ah. The profound disappointment that follows. A little bit of your soul gone.

Just doing your thing in your house. Significant other is in the bathroom or somewhere else. You decide to make a quick call. Pick up the phone and hear voices.Your honey whispering sweet nothings to someone else. You are not supposed to have heard that. Rage, disappointment, anger, pain and little bit of your soul dies. All because of a chance lifting of the handset from the cradle.

Sitting in the salon or in the car and your cellphone rings. Chat endlessly with that friend. And you say goodbye. For some reason, you dont hit the end call button. Then you hear voices. You begin to speak and tell the person on the other end of the line that he/she hasnt ended the connection. Then you hear your name. You listen. People are talking about you. Laughing at you. Insulting you. Anger, betrayal, the death of a bit of your soul. The phone helped that process along.

The phone rings and its the one you always hoped you would live happily ever after with. Excited chatter ensues. Some news to be shared. Getting married. Some silence and a gulp on your part. Congratulations. Of course i will be at the wedding. A part of your soul dies. The phone does it again.

A phone call in the middle of the day. A crying voice. Someone is dead. Has been in a accident. Shock, disbelief, intense grief....carried along by the telephone.

The one you care so much about. That called you every night. Suddenly the phone calls stop. You try calling and suddenly you cant get through. Your calls are not being answered. Confusion. Why? Did i do or say something? A piece of your soul dies. The phone.

Your loved one, away from home. Living life. Finding his or her own way. Suddenly, they cant be reached. Panic begins to set in. Where are they? What's going on? Are they okay? Until you get your answers, the phone is in constant use while a little bit of your soul shrivels up. The phone.

Endless scenarios and situations. The phone at the center of it all.

Soundbyte!

James Brown - Its a Man's Man's World

The originator, the one and only godfather of Soul passed away on christmas day at the age of 73. Growing up with music in my house always, James Brown made regular appearances in our house. Well his music did. I remember his soulful begging on "Please, Please, Please" and i learnt that song in a hurry.

I remember watching an episode of The Cosby Show - one of the ones with the anniversary for Cliff's parents. The whole family performs and the part that stands out for me is little Rudy going "Baby Baby Baby". My dad pointed out to me that the Huxtables were actually miming to a James Brown number.

Watching scenes from his performances, this man could dance and move. Usher, Michael Jackson, Chris Brown have all credited James Brown as their dance inspiration. Mary J Blige, LL Cool J and so many other artists have at some point in their careers sampled James Brown's music.

But the man was a class act all on his own. Tireless in his performances, he would move, and scream and dance and sweat and at the end of most performances, he would drop to his knees as if unable to go on and some guy would come from backstage with a glittery cape and throw it over his shoulders and try to lead him offstage and we would drag himself along - then suddenly he would throw the cape off and go back to give the audience one more dazzling performance. Classic.

And he was a little man - not tall but when this man walked in a room or got on stage, he seemed fierce and gigantic. A humble man that liked to be called Mr brown and remained in the south Augusta, Georgia and South Carolina most of his life.

How can i forget his style. This man started with an afro parted at the side and anded with with a jet black mane of hair impeccably done except in his mug shot. He liked shorter style jackets and nice tight pants. And the womne loved it. James Brown was married 4 times even though he lost a wife. He did drugs, led the police on a chase, landed in jail for assault then seemed to get himself in line and relax.

He was also a philantropist. He held an annual food and toy drive over christmas and he would feed hundreds of people and give out so many toys and clothes to kids and not from a distance. He would serve food and hang out with the kids and even treat them to some low key moves.

He remained in good health. He had a dentist's appointment and the dentist suggested he see a doctor since he suspected pneumonia. He checked into hospital on December 24th, at about 10pm on that day he is reported to have said "I am going away today". He died at about 1.45am on christmas day.

Rest in Peace sir and i think i speak for all true music lovers when i say that you will not be forgotten and your influence will continue to be felt for many years to come.

*If you would like this song, leave me an email address in the comments section*

Nigerians in heaven

I just got this and i had to share. I am still chuckling a bit:

Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. I have some Nigerians up here in Heaven who are causing some problems. They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they've got Maggi sauce and Ogbono soup all over their robes; hamhocks, Isi-ewu, Cow-feet and Bokoto bones are all over the streets of Gold. Some folk are walking around with one wing, they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are soda bottles all over the clouds, some aren't even wearing their halos, saying it doesn't fit with their hairstyles."
The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? What the.! ...!, hold on one minute."
The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?"
The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there."
The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and put the Lord on hold.
After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?"
The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't belieee.....hold on, Lord".
This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes.
The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. These Nigerians put the fire out, and now they are trying to install air conditioning! They even bribed my guys!!"

Soundbyte!

Its up and running now. Since this is my first soundbyte for the year, i want it to set the tone for the rest of my year. Here it is:

Brian Doersken - Light the fire again

I love this song. Its a christian/inspirational song and since i intend to stoke the fires of my spirituality this year, i think its appropriate.

Enjoy!

*If you would like this song, please leave an email address in the comments section*

Trouble!

My maternal grandma is a character indeed. She needs a whole post dedicated to her but she is 83 and doesnt look and act a day over 65. She gave us all a scare over the past few days however. My mother was summoned to her house and rushed there to find my grandma unable to move, in bed and speech slurred. of course my mom broke down and she was rushed to the hospital.

Our family doctor rushed to examine her and after stabilizing her, getting on some drips and asking tons of questions, the diagnosis was in: DRUG ABUSE.

Yes. My grandma has been filling the same prescription she got when she was admitted in hospital about 10 years ago, she has been taking Codeine(?) that was not prescribed to her, she is diabetic and has been overtaking her medication. She takes herbal cleansers like Swedish Bitters which is supposed to last 2 weeks. My grandma finishes a bottle in 4 days. She is taking mega vitamins that we know of and on and on it goes. The doctor dispatched someone to her house to get all her pills and they arrived: In a yellow bucket. A bucket full of medication.

Add to this, my grandma fasts daily. She prays endlessly and at the end of the prayer session, she jumps 70 times for the father, 70 times for the son and 70 times for the holy spirit.

We were totally stunned and amused as well. My grandma tried to charm my doctor by speaking igbo but he was not having it, he scolded her well and truly and began to ask her questions. Who prescribed all this medicine for you? Well she heard they were good and she just would send people to the pharmacy. Why are you fasting? Oh just to thank my God. Why are you jumping up and down - she really looked stunned at this question and didnt bother to deignify it with an answer.

The doctor told us that this is such a common thing with older people. They just begin to overdo medication even vitamins and typically hide the pills from family. None of us had ever seen the yellow bucket before. We knew about a cute little tray with vitamins bought by my parents but not as bucket.

Thank God she is okay now. She has been warned about the medication and this hospital incident has yielded in hilarious results. She prays over all medication she takes now (and watching her do this is so funny), she is milking my mom for all she is worth. My mom has been waking up every morning and cooking for her and taking it to her house before going to her shop. Everytime we go and see her, she is lying in bed and playing the sick patient. Yesterday, we went by her house unannounced and lo and behold, my grandma was holding court in her bedroom and arguing about politics with her voice raised, alternating between english, yoruba and igbo and sounding and looking fit as a fiddle. As soon as we walked in, she kept quiet and told us she couldnt get up. LOL

So we are on to her tricks and my mom swore up and down she wasnt cooking for her anymore. My grandma looked so woeful and her sick act was back on. LOL

Soundbyte!

I have absolutely no idea what's going on with the website where i host the music i embed on my blog. So as soon as i figure it out or find another site to host my music, it will be back up and running. Any alternative sites i can look into?

I won something!

Ehm. I won an award and you can check out the results here. Thanks to everyone that voted and it was a lot of fun. Now we just need to figure out other ways to play some games bloggers like Big Brother or something. LOL.

God bless her!

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa (AP) -- Oprah Winfrey opened a school Tuesday for disadvantaged girls, fulfilling a promise she made to former President Nelson Mandela six years ago and giving more than 150 students a chance for a better future. "I wanted to give this opportunity to girls who had a light so bright that not even poverty could dim that light," Winfrey said at a news conference.

Mandela was among the guests at the opening of the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in the small town of Henley-on-Klip, south of Johannesburg. "This is a lady that has, despite her own disadvantaged background, become one of the benefactors of the disadvantaged throughout the world," Mandela said in a statement. (Watch the school's first students )

Singers Tina Turner, Mary J. Blige and Mariah Carey, actors Sidney Poitier and Chris Tucker and director Spike Lee also were in attendance. Each guest was asked to bring a personally inscribed book for the library.

Winfrey has said that she decided to build her own school because she wanted to feel closer to the people she was trying to help.

The $40 million academy aims to give 152 girls from deprived backgrounds a quality education in a country where schools are struggling to overcome the legacy of apartheid.
Eventually the school will accommodate 450 girls. Girls like 12-year-old Maphefo Leputu from Soweto, who used to share a bed with her cousins, said she was overwhelmed at the prospect of her own room and bathroom -- and the chance to fulfill her ambition of becoming a lawyer.
Lesego Tlhabanyane, 13, proudly wore her new green-and-white uniform at the ceremony.
"I would have had a completely different life if this hadn't happened to me," she said. "Now I get a life where I get to be treated like a movie star."

By educating girls, Winfrey said she hoped she could help "change the face of a nation."
"Girls who are educated are less likely to get HIV/AIDS, and in this country which has such a pandemic we have to begin to change the pandemic," said Winfrey, known to her pupils as "Mam Oprah."

Many of the girls come from families affected by the disease which has infected 5.4 million of the 48 million population and hit women disproportionately hard. Winfrey referred repeatedly to her own impoverished childhood and said she was grateful that she at least had a good education, declaring this to be "the most vital aspect of my life."

"I was a poor girl who grew up with my grandmother, like so many of these girls, with no water and electricity," said the talk show host, dressed in a shocking pink ball gown and jacket.
She vowed to make the academy the "best school in the world" and promised that she would continue to support the girls so they could attend any university in the world.

A promise fulfilled
The idea for the school was born in 2000 at a meeting between Winfrey and anti-apartheid icon Mandela. She said she decided to build the academy in South Africa rather than the United States out of love and respect for Mandela and because of her own African roots.
She said she planned a second school for boys and girls in the eastern province of KwazuluNatal.
Many state-funded schools, especially in the sprawling townships that sprang up under white racist rule, are hopelessly overcrowded and lack even basic necessities such as books. They also are plagued by gang violence, drugs and a high rate of pregnancy among school girls.
Top-class study and sporting facilities are available but are largely confined to private schools that are still dominated by the white minority as they are too expensive for many black and mixed race South Africans.

'I love these girls'
Winfrey's academy received 3,500 applications from across the country. A total of 152 girls ages 11 and 12 were accepted. To qualify, they had to show both academic and leadership potential and have a household income of no more than $787 a month. Eventually the academy will accommodate 450 girls. The 28-building campus boasts computer and science laboratories, a library and theater along with a wellness center.

Winfrey rejected suggestions that her school was elitist and unnecessarily luxurious.
"If you are surrounded by beautiful things and wonderful teachers who inspire you, that beauty brings out the beauty in you," she said. She said she chose "every brick tile, sheet and spoon" and even lay in the beds to check on the right distance for the light switch.

Winfrey, who does not have children, said she was building a home for herself on the campus to spend time with the girls and be involved in their education.
"I love these girls with every part of my being. I didn't know you could feel this way about other people's children."

Happy New Year

I cannot believe that its a New Year again but i am so thankful to God that my family is alive and well to see the start of another year. Before moving on, there is this fab questionnaire thing on London Buki's blog that i want to do to put some things in perspective for me. Life is really interesting...Febuary 3, 2007 was the date for my wedding. Obviously that is not the case now but its interesting that at the stroke of midnight here, HE called and we talked about that and us and what will never be.

On to happier things (LOL), the questionaire:

in 2006...
1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? Start blogging

2. Did you keep any New Year's Resolutions? I dont make resolutions anymore. I make life plans and decisions

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Oh yes and Sefe is already 9 months old

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes and i miss him everyday

5. Did you visit any countries? Yes. The United Arab Emirates and Ghana

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? Better savings habits, a constant and deeper relationship with God and my dance partner (may not be the same person that i have blogged about...who knows)

7. Will any date from 2006 stay etched in your memory forever? Yes

8. What was your biggest achievment of 2006? Getting promoted - moved up 3 levels and getting over HIM

9. What was your biggest failure? Becoming emotionally unavailable to almost everyone in my life. I have no idea how that happened but i am working on it

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing too intense. A hospital stay and the return of my anaemia with a vengeance

11. What was the best thing you bought in '06? My ipod

12. Did your behavior change over the year? Yes. I became a little harder and little weirder

13. Where did you spend most of your money? On myself

14. Are you happier than this time last year? Happier? I am not sure.

15. Thinner or fatter? Thinner but not by much (pity that)

16. Richer or poorer? Richer.

17. What song will remind you of 2006? James Blunt- 'You're beautiful', D'banj - Why Me

18. What do you wish you would have done more of? Opened up more to the people around me

19. What do you wish you would have done less of? Gone on power trips with the men in my life. The need to control and hurt them. How did i get there?

20. What did you do for Christmas '06? Spent time with my family, cooked for them and laughed

21. Did you fall in love in 2006? Nope.

22. Did you get your heart broken in 2006? Nope. It wasnt available to be hurt

23. Favorite TV program of '06? Prison Break, Lost, 24 & Grey's Anatomy

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didnt hate this time last year? I dont do hate but dislike intensely

25. What was the best book you read and/or movie you saw? Movies: Deja Vu, Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, X2, Miami Vice ...I really want to see Apocalypto. Books: Diane Evans - 26a, James Patterson - Mary Mary..That's all i can remember

26. What was your greatest discovery? Blogger

27. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? 26 and i went out with my family and did a date thing

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Peace in my heart...LOL

29. What kept you sane? Retreating into myself even more. Should have been family and God but it wasnt.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2006? Too much black and way too many work clothes

31. Who was the best new person you met? L

32. Who did you wish you did not meet? Everyone comes into my life for a purpose

33. Who was your best friend? LOL

34. Who was your enemy? Enemies? Well after the promotion, i know some work people still hate me but do i care?

35. Who do you miss? N and Megan

36. Who will you never forget? My friend J that passed away

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Relax and let it go!

38. What will you always remember about 2006? My emotional mess, the execution of Saddam, the death of James Brown, Gerald Levert, the mess of the world...

39. What do you want to do in '07 that you couldn't/didn't in '06? Invest more. Plan my career/job change, give myself permission to be free

40. Any resolutions? I dont make resolutions

41. Do you want to make more friends in 2007? I am open to new relationships but not going out on a mission to find more friends

42. Anything you want to change about yourself for 2007? Yes...Sure there are somethings i need to work on, but I am me and i kinda like the woman i am