So in today's world of "adult" relationships, it seems that there are new rules in play that were previously alien to me. Apparently, dating a man gives one access to a new money source. HIM. It is understood that He Man will become responsible for certain expenses of Damsel. Credit for her phone - Check. Getting her nails and hair done - Check. Rent - Check. Car expenses or even new car - Check. Vacations - Check. Wardrobe allowance - Check. Pocket money - Check.
I have always been one of those odd women that found even gifts difficult to accept. Letter and cards, i loved. Mixed tapes and CDs....Perfume - oh yeah. As i got older, i relaxed a bit. Allowed myself to accept thoughtful gifts in my mind. Shoes, books, DVDs, CDs, the odd piece of jewelery. Those were fine in my mind because it meant that he thought about who i am and acted accordingly. I remember the first time a boyfriend gave me $300 in cash to go shopping. I almost fainted. We had the biggest fight in history and resulted in me storming out and absolutely refusing to speak to him for weeks. How dare he i thought? Trying to buy me. Paying me for services rendered? That's the way it felt to me. Paying me. So subsequent men in my life know that cash is a no go area for me.
I know that a lot of my friends have always thought me odd. And those acquaintances i know think it even odder. I have been asked why on earth i am with a man if i dont get perks? Huh? How about for company, to share my time with, because i like him, because i like how he makes me feel? That seems all well and good to some while some women have looked at me in amazement. In a world where the eligibility of a man is based on the size of his wallet, car and job.
Nigeria seems to be worse. Its actually nauseating. I have a friend of mine that works with an oil company but when he meets a woman, he claims to work for a Nigerian airline. Why? To gauge the level of interest. So far, the moment he mentions Chachangi, the look on their faces change. He is a pretty hot guy, well spoken and very put together. Its interesting to see the change: from first appreciating his looks, to being turned off the moment he says where he works. I thought he was being a bit harsh at first but i have to agree with his strategy now.
So is accepting money and allowing a man foot all bills acceptable in relationships? If it is, then how much is acceptable? Does marriage make it different? How much cash is acceptable? What kind of gifts are acceptable? And this goes both ways - for men and women.