Time and time again, we have all written or come across posts on infidelity. We of course dont have any answers on why people cheat and of course on why men cheat. We have discussed the way people react and honestly - there are so many varying points of view. Every now and again, something will happen that will leave me speechless...........
On saturday, after my training class, i hooked up with my girlfriends for drinks and gossip. We were joined by a young lady that i know but isnt my friend if you understand that. Anyway we had a good time and when i got home, my main friend (the reason we hooked up at all) and i got on the phone and proceeded to yak on and on.
The young girl i mentioned above V is dating a guy D. They have been together for 3 years. Another acquaintance of mine M last year raved on and on about the fabulous guy she was dating also called D. Anyway, one fateful day, V walks into D's flat unannounced and there M is with her man. The weird thing here is there wasnt a fight. These 2 ladies M & V proceeded to have a fairly dignified conversation about when they started dating D, how often they saw him etc. Both ladies leave. M is devastated but moves on and is dating someone else now.
V on the other hand is still with D. In fact he joined us for about an hour before they left us to have some quiet time. Hey. I cast no judgement about the whole thing. I just thought it was interesting but hey...
So my main friend and i were talking and got round to this issue. And i said i thought it was very interesting. My friend said something to the effect that they were planning to get married - V & D. I then asked if Miss V was okay with the infidelity thing. My friend said it was just an incident that happened and that was that. It was at that point that i said i would have reservations about continuing a relationship with a boyfriend who has cheated. I said, it was bad enough that the odds seem to be really high that infidelity would happen during marriage (i am very very optimistic about that not happenening to me but one must be prepared...LoL) making that decision harder but i just didnt think that i should have to deal with that with a boyfriend.
My friend stunned me - she said infidelity was not a good enough reason to break up with anyone. That D was a good man and treated V very very well. That they had been together for 3 years, D is a young man doing well, V is pretty...that they can work it out. She said everyone that heard about this incident was sooo suprised that D was involved because it just wasnt in him.
Ehn? I asked if D stopped his affair with M because he was caught? what kind of mistake i asked? What about trust and committment?
She said it didnt matter, that i still had an immature perspective on relationships. That infidelity was simply not big enough to end a 3 year old relationship. She went on and on to calmly tell me how sweet D is and how good he is for V, how he provides for her etc.
Silence. My anwer to her. I was humbled and just thoroughly taken aback. I simply had no words.