Friday, November 17, 2006

What the *&%$?

I need to take a deep breath and calm down.

I am sitting here at my desk doing my work gently, when i look at the time. Ah. Noon. Time to break out my salad. Since i broke down and confessed to the world about my weight issues, you can understand that i am practicing portion control. I dont eat breakfast just because i feel nauseous in the mornings. I had some fruit earlier on but i was ready to dig into my salad for some energy.

I woke up this morning at 6am to make this salad. Some cabbage, lettuce, green peppers, carrots, sweetcorn, some olives topped with some tuna. Mixed my own dressing with olive oil, lemon juce and some black pepper. Do you know what it means to scrape carrots and chop all these veggies at 6am, put it in a bowl and come to work?

Anyway, i bring out my LITTLE bowl with my salad and prepare to silence the hunger pangs when a co-worker walks by my desk and says: "Hmm this oyibo girl. What is this ya eating again". I say some salad. Out of COURTESY, i say "care to join me?".

You all know that i just asked just because. This rude mannerless man said "IK (the office assistant) bring me a fork". Ehn? Is this man for real? He has got to be f*****g kidding me.

He takes the fork, pulls up a chair and digs in. Ehn? His first mouthful "what kind of salad is this one?" Second mouthful "no salad cream in this thing oh" Third mouthful "you should have boiled egg and put it on top" Fourth mouthful "i hope you dont mind oh" Fifth mouthful "ah ah. This thing is sweet oh. Can you make for me next time"

Let me reiterate : I am eating smaller portions through out the day, so this salad was 7 mouthfuls at the most.

He removed his fork leaving like 3 grains of sweetcorn, some strips of carrot and one olive or so. I called him back and said "you can finish it all". He said "Are you sure?". I said "Oh yes". He took my bowl and just went away.

I heard him calling the office assistant to come and take my bowl away.

Can you imagine this useless man? Now i am hungry and he has eaten ALL my salad that i lovingly made for myself. Useless, greedy, mannerless agbaya of a man


LondonBuki said...

Are you serious??? What an agbaya! Some people don't understand courtesy!!!

What are you going to eat now?

Onada - Fashion and Photography said...

ok i definately need to update my blog link for you!

pele hope you got something to eat!

Uzo said...

@LB: Can you imagine the gall? The yoghurt that was meant for 4pm is what i am having now. Useless man. Threw me off balance.

@Onada: HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Welcome back. I have found a temporary fix....

Daddy's Girl said...

Aaaww, I can so feel your pain. I can't believe that man actually did that. Talk about agbaya behaviour!! I bet that's the last time you do the nice polite 'care to join me' thing at work. Some people are just 'longer-throat'. The man no shame, he even happily finished off the last morsel of the salad. Eeyah, after all the wahala of making it. Pele o.

soul said...

Uzo.. uzo.. uzo..
How many times did I call you.
biko...there is polite and polite.. lol..
You can't be gracious to people who have no grace..

No more offering of food to other people.

Anonymous said...

lol....LMAo..u give people an inch and they'll take a mile. E le oh.

Funmi said...

Soul and szaiprincess have said it all some people simply have no shame at all. Guess u will be making salad for 2 next week :)

Anonymous said...

lmao.... that is jsut too funny!!!i wont even complain sha cos i always invite ppl to join me in eating and they usually do.. so i know a lot of his kind... but i'm only mad cos he threw you off your diet... lmao.. i guess youre gonna have to start packing for 2.. lol

DiAmOnD hawk said...

this is just too funny
girl you should have SET HIM STRAIGHT quick...
when you have small portions like that...dont offer to share to that guy again... telling you what you should have added
it seems somehow...he requested a fork and sat down...too familiar

have a good suicide missions k?

Nomad said...

Reminds me of when I was at uni in Nigeria, we walked into a restaurant and overhead a guy call to a friend of ours who was eating without looking up, 'ah ah, Vicky, you no even call me sef to come chop'. Vicky, without missing a bit answered as loudly as he had spoken, 'If you come gree nko'. People laughed, she didnt lift her head and just continued with her food. I'm sure the guy learnt a valuable lesson that day.

Ms. May said...

LMAO!!!!! Every experience is a lesson. Now you know not to do it next time. The man is a true agbaya.

NaijaBloke said...

Iro ni o ... and u did not say anything ..Uzo u r such a darling o ...Omo after the 2nd mouthful na to hold his fork o..I called u to come and eat and u r holding my hand ..for where ..LOL

U have a nice weekend

Nneka's World said...

Are you serious, that man has no shame oh!
I feel your pain girl, especially waking up and making your salad and salivating over it, then poof its gone and not to your belly but someone else's
Pele, hope you got something to eat

Favoured Girl said...

For real he ate all your lunch!! After all the work you put into making it as well. You are nice o. Pele, next time, you know not to invite him again.

Unknown said...

LOL I'm sorry but this is very funny though I completely feel for you, I can't believe he ate all your food, you must have been starving!

Moral of the story, when anyone asks you what you're eating next time, you tell them 'salad' then you put your face down and continue eating thereby putting an end to any thoughts they might be having of taking a bite!

Pele oh!

In my head and around me said...

LOL!! There is joy in giving...

Olawunmi said...

i have found that most nigerians who have lived in nigeria all of their lives are completely clueless about the little nuances of courtesy and respect for the personal space of others. i'm not saying that we're all bad, but people like this man prove that its a problem that clearly exists.

i feel for you, unable to complain as he ate all of your precious food. the next time he tries to share your food, you should just tell him clearly that you can't, because the last time that you did, he simply ate all of it without sparing a thought for you. he might hate you for a bit (okay, like forever) but you would have proved your point.

these people really do piss me off

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha!

I'll be blogging about something similar today.