Interesting.....

The day before i took off on holiday, i was at work tidying up a few things. I noticed a slip of paper on a table next to me and out of curiosity and maybe boredom, i picked it up and read it and re-read it. I actually put the slip of paper in my laptop back because i so needed to share....So here goes:

The front reads: Overcoming Delay in Marriage with Pastor C....s O......i. National Stadium Surulere......

The back reads:

'The first marriage seminar i attended with Pastor C...s O....i was Activating the Grace to Marry on March 10th 2007. After the teaching, i proposed to a lady who also attended the seminar. She accepted the proposal and we have since concluded our marriage arrangements. We will be getting married on the 8th of September 2007' Brother C.O

'I have been experiencing disappointment before i attended a program titled Locating your Life Partner with Pastor C....s O....i on the 7th of April 2007. After the program, God visited me. I was sitting at the back of one of the new mass transit buses going home, when someone in the bus came to me and asked me if i would marry him. The man, who is a Nigerian lives in Germany and visited Nigeria. He said to me later that when he entered the bus, something told him that his wife was inside the bus. Though there were many ladies in the bus, he came to me and proposed marriage right inside the bus. The man said that when he saw me, he knew i was the one. Our marriage plans are on. I give God the glory for what he has done' Sister C.N

'The first time i attended a marriage seminar with Pastor C...s O.....i was on 11th August 2007 titled My Right Spouse?. Precisely 8 days after the programme, i got a marriage proposal right inside my house. And to the glory of God, the man is a believer just as i desire and marriage arrangements are on' Sister U.P

Knowledge is power! As you attend our programme on the 13th of October 2007, the Lord will also give you your own testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior.

What do you think?

Ten Ways to Marry The Wrong Person

This is a forward that i got and its written by a Rabbi Dov Heller M.A. Well so the email says. But i read this one and actually thought it made some sense and thought i'd share:

With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize 10 insights.

1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake! NEVER MARRY POTENTIAL!! The Golden Rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married...for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for:

Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? Howdoes s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give to charity?

Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?

Happiness: Does this person like her/himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

3. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: a) Chemistry and compatibility
b) Share common interests c) Share common life goal. Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're living for while you are single and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate.

A soul mate is a goal mate....two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities,values and goals.

4. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper emotional connection.To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. Yes, you should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc but do you actually respect and admire this person who possesses these qualities? Also ask:"Do I trust this person?" This also means "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

5. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way?Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you.

There is a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.

6. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can't be vulnerable, you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.

7. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better and your future spouse will thank you.

8. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly.This can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to "test drive" in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

9. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't get it. Tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of the woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved, to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in the approach to sexual intimacy. Tradition obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal oriented especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things will happen.

10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle.To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You'll not be their number one priority. And that's not basis for a marriage.

I think there are some salient points here. What do you think?