Very Nice....to the sounds of.....

Abba - Money, Money, Money

Forbes has published its annual Richest List and look who comes in at number 334. Yup...the first Nigerian to make it onto this list ever is Aliko Dangote. Go here to read more.....

A lot of people say a few Nigerians including Aliko have been singled out to benefit from government. Well, sure to some extent but it happens all over the world. My dad calls it enlightened self interest. You have influential friends, they open doors for you and voila...

I have a lot of respect for him though in the sense that unlike a lot of people who have influential friends that simply divert money (they sit back and rub their hands with glee as the millions hit their Swiss bank accounts).... this man works. People who know him will tell you they wonder when he sleeps. Meetings held at 2am after putting in regular work hours. The same can be said for Mike Adenuga whose midnight meetings at his golden office are famous.

Anyway, Aliko has my respect as well in the fact that he really doesnt take himself too seriously and is really humble. I have been at events when i have been shoved out of the way by Arnold Schwarzneggar wannabe's in oversized coats and cheap sunglasses - the security detail for Kabiyesi He Ha of Mushin Omole Local Government 1 or The Ndi Igbo of Mirin Ngwa or some other such lackey. Aliko comes in unassuming in his babanriga, walks in and sits down. If he happens to be recognized by the MC, he wont get up, he will simply smile and do his thing. Love that.

Another reason, i respect this man, is he is human. LOL....

Case in point - at my friend's wedding last May, i was one of the bridesmaids. Wearing a tea length dress and heels. Dancing time...and ladies, you know what means. All bridesmaids to the dance floor with money bag in hand. Kneeling on the floor to pick up money with people dancing and bumping into you takes the joy out of your heart fast. So there we are. And some of these people, swaggering onto the dance floor, spraying their 20 and 50 naira notes with aplomp. I got up and opened the bag hoping for some respite. Instead, see these women dressed to the teeth with their coats of many colors (i mean their skin here), dance backwards for 10 paces, then come forward for 5, shimmy to the ground and then spray the couple with 50 naira. Then go on and on boogeying while we the bridesmaids are on the floor scavenging for the notes and trying not to get our fingers crushed by the shoes. There was even a point when i just knelt there not picking anything.

Anyway, Aliko comes to the dance floor, shakes the hands of the bride and the groom, looks at us sweating and dishevelled brides maids, smiles and says well done, brings out a few bundles of 1000 naira notes and places the money directly into our bags. He sways a little like 3 sways a side all the while smiling. He now counts out a few 1000 and gives directly to each bridesmaid and says you are good friends. He leaves the dance floor and by the time we had gotten off the dance floor, the man had gone. That is the way to do things people....LOL

Seriously, something good in a global publication about a Nigerian. Me likey.....

Coming to Nigeria.....

Brian McKnight, Sisqo & Soul to Soul - November 23rd

Ying Yang Twins - Sometime in December

The Apprentice Africa with Biodun Shobanjo (of Insight Communications) as the CEO

Random i know but i am loving all this..

The New Speaker of the House.....

Is 37 year old Dimeji Bankole. Educated in Sandhurst, Oxford and Harvard.

Obviously the older folks in the House are not pleased but hey. Could this be a sign of changing times? Is he unaffected and free of corruption? Will he bring to the table bright ideas and radicalism? Will he look in the face of the establishment and say to hell with the old ways? Will he be able to balance his youth and dynamism with respect for the older dogs? Disrespect isnt the way to go. Do his degrees and western exposure mean anything? Or did he just get the degrees but is unable to string to words together?

Valid questions but here's what's really on my mind - IS HE SINGLE. Our new speaker is a bit of a cutie with the gap in his teeth and all. What? Finally, a good looking politician. I wonder what he does for fun? What he likes to do when he isnt politicking. He used to be the Chairman of the Committee for Land Transport or something. How did he sneak into politics and i did not know about it? Granted i dont know them all but sheesh...Anyway - can he be caught at NewsCafe having a drink and swaying to the beats of The Ebony Band? Does he come to Lagos at all? Abuja is so boring but if he has to be stuck there, where does he hang out? Sure he isnt very tall but hey...

THE NEW SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE IS A CUTIE OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

LOL

Seriously though - this is a good sign.....

This is funny but also not.......

The Queen, Clinton & Obasanjo who went straight to hell and met the devil.

Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England; Please I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there". She called and talked for about 5 minutes, and then she asked"Well, Devil, how much do I owe you???? The devil says "Five million pounds". She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Bill Clinton was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! Iwanna call the States, I wanna see how every goddamn guy is doing out there. He called and talked for about 2 minutes, and then he asked "Well, Devil, how much do I owe you???? The devil says "Ten million dollars". With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

OBASANJO was even more jealous & starts screaming, me too go call Nigeria o jare, I go see how everybody is doing there too. If they don bring light. I go to talk to the ministers, to my special advisers, to the PDP, to INEC and EFCC, to everybody... ..He calls Nigeria and he talks for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked,"Well, Devil, can I have my bill????The devil says "One thousand Naira".

Obasanjo was stunned & says; "Otio!! One thousand Naira??? Only one thousand Naira pere??"

The Devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it's LOCAL CALL!

Job Vacancy

If this is something that interests you and you meet the qualifications, please send an email with your CV to uzo.amuta@gmail.com

Job position:
Special Advisor to the President of the Stock Exchange


Level:
An executive position reporting directly to the president of the Nigeria Stock Exchange


Pay:
Competitive and negotiable


Profile:
Experienced in capital market activities preferably from the Nigerian Diaspora. Wall street and investment banking experience would be great. Young at about 32 to 37 years of age. Dynamic, intellectual, good business sense. Understands the workings of the Nigeria Stock Market. Personable and hard working. An MBA would be an added advantage.


Roles:
Work with the President of the Nigeria Stock Market to determine priorities of the exchange; assist provide direction to the exchange; articulate winning strategies and practices; ensure the tenor of the president is marked by significant achievements and contributions to the growth of the economy and the stock exchange in specific terms; represent the president at events if he is not available.

And the atrocities begin to come out....

* Obasanjo has bought a private jet at N36 million and has flown to Jamaica. The funds came from a company called MRS set up in conjunction with Dangote and Dantata

* Donald Duke is not the saint we all thought. Cross River state is in debt up to its eyeballs, Tinapa is not complete and it is rumoured that it will take another N60 billion to complete. The American companies touted to have taken equity and space appear to be a charade. Duke also left with 4 of the official cars leaving the current governor carless and thoroughly confused. One of the banks that Duke took a loan from disclosed how much it was and it is staggering. Remember this is just from one bank. The arrangement for Cross River state's loan repayment is a direct debit arrangement with a rumoured N700 billion taken from its allocation account directly each month. Donald Duke is in the Uk at the moment and is rumoured to be one of the names on the list of potential ministers....

* Its amazing the things that are beginning to come out.......

* Let me go out on a limb and declare that the Obasanjo administration will probably be the most corrupt we have ever had*

Day 3 of the strike

Oh dear. I am tired of this strike. I know the Nigerian Labor Congress has a point and i even give them kudos for actually going through with this and making the government take notice but...Its so hot. Diesel is being rationed. I am reading and listening to music. Talking on the phone is an option. Nowhere to go since there isnt any petrol. Agggggggggggggggghhhh. Thanks to my blogger friends that have called me...He He He...

The NLC has threatened to cut off electricity and water supply if their demands are not met....Aghhhhhhhhhhh!

A little something more

Please dont crucify me. I got this in an email and just had to share. (Its funny but so disturbing because this issue - is so serious and isnt going away anytime soon)

Exciting Job Opportunities in the Niger Delta

Our client, a Niger Delta Militant Group with branches in strategic locations throughout all the six South-South states of Nigeria is seeking to expand its operations to Abuja , the Federal Capital territory. This expansion has brought about vacancies for qualified and experienced young officers. The positions are:

Area Head, Kidnapping:
The successful applicant who will report to the Executive Council, and the Executive Director, Abuja , is expected to possess the following competencies:

1) Minimum of 10 years experience in militant agitation. (Membership of Al-qaeda, Hamas or other similar organisation will be an added advantage)

2) Fluent knowledge of Hausa, Ijaw, English, Italian and German

3) Expert ability to distinguish between Oyinbos and Albinos

4) Ability to swim in deep waters

5) Ability to recognise fake/marked naira notes by sight

6) Ability to easily recognise all Senators and Ministers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Evidence of previous successful kidnap of BIG MEN must be provided (pictures preferable)

Photographer:

1) Minimum of 5 years experience taking photos in war zones. (Domestic fights do not qualify as war zones for these purposes)

2) Proficiency in the use of explosives as camera lighting.

3) Knowledge of the different skin tones of expatriates, as an aid to taking high-quality pictures, is a must.

4) Proficiency in the use of Adobe Photoshop, and Internet photo uploading software is a must.

Please include a portfolio of previous photo-samples (must contain kidnapped persons OR be taken in war-zones OR be nightshots in blackspots like Oshodi, 3rd Mainland bridge, Apongbon, etc)

Militant Trainee:

1) Candidates must be between the ages of 13 and 50, be at least 4m tall, and may be male or female.

2) Minimum of Nursery School/Kindergarten certificate.

3) Jobless university graduates, and serving policemen will be given special consideration.

4) Possession of jungle boots and face mask is a must.

5) Preference will be given to persons with knowledge of foreign European languages, and persons with the ability to swim.

Renumeration:

Very attractive, competitive, and comparable with industry standards (payments in foreign currencies).

Official guns, boats and grenades will be provided. Excellent training, involving offshore secondment (Iraq, Afghanistan etc) from time to time

Regular appearance on CNN, Alaaroye, Time Magazine, The Economist and other International magazines.

Excellent networking opportunities with Nigerian politicians, oil magnates, and foreign businessmen.

Interested applicants should forward their applications and detailed curriculum militae within two weeks to:militant_recruitmen t@OsamaConsulting.com

On Human Behavior

I find that i learn so much by being quiet and watching and listening to people. During my retreat this weekend, there came a point when the various teams took to presenting which meant - we listened and got ready to grill them. I observed a number of things:

• People find it really hard to disagree politely. A difference of opinion is shouted and done in such a dismissive fashion, its almost insulting.
• This in turn seems to get personal. I mean - one minute its a disagreement on a point, the next its digs at people
• Nigerians are largely still tribalistic - seeming more comfortable to group themselves by tribe..and with this, the "personalities" of the tribes came through.
• Kiss ass behavior is really really nauseating

Its amazing what one can pickup by just watching. I was bemused, angered and saddened by a lot of the things that i noticed that were and never will be said but which were glaring to me. Especially the tribalism issue. Therefore i ask, will Nigeria ever truly be united?

Just some randomness .....

Nigeria - Making a statement

IN RECENT HISTORY, NIGERIANS HAVE BEEN OVERWHELMINGLY BETRAYED BY THOSE CHARGED WITH ADDRESSING THEIR NEEDS. INSTEAD OF SERVING THE PEOPLE, PUBLIC SERVANTS HAVE SERVED THEMSELVES TO THE DETRIMENT OF THE MASSES. THE RESULT IS A NATION LACKING ADEQUATE INFRASTRUCTURE, ORGANIZATION AND SECURITY.

THE INEFFECTIVENESS OF NIGERIAN LEADERS INDICATES A LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY TO THE CONSTITUENTS. NIGERIANS ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT TO THE LEADERS, THUS, LEADERS DO NOT FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO THEM.
THE RECENT FAILURE TO CONDUCT A FREE AND FAIR ELECTORAL PROCESS WAS YET ANOTHER ILLUSTRATION THAT THE NEEDS OF THE MANY ARE SECONDARY TO THE WANTS OF THE IMPORTANT FEW.

FROM THIS DAY, ALL NIGERIANS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THIS GREAT & POWERFUL COUNTRY. CONSEQUENTLY, ALL NIGERIANS MUST COMMIT THEMSELVES TO THE FOLLOWING:

WE MUST DEMAND THAT ELECTED OFFICIALS BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND IN-ACTIONS.

WE MUST EXPECT DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES TO BE HONORED, RESPECTED AND MAINTAINED.

WE MUST BELIEVE THAT ALL NIGERIANS ARE EQUAL UNDER THE LAW AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.

WE MUST APPLY OURSELVES TO IMPROVING THE LOT OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL NIGERIAN REGARDLESS OF GENDER, RELIGION, TRIBE OR SOCIAL STATUS.

WE MUST STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A UNITED REPUBLIC DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES.
ONLY UPON ACHIEVING THESE PRINCIPLES CAN WE AS A PEOPLE FULLY LIVE UP TO OUR POTENTIAL AS A LAND OF GREATNESS. FOR OURS IS A COUNTRY RENOWNED FOR ITS ILLUSTRIOUS PEOPLE, AMPLE RESOURCES AND SHEER PHYSICAL BEAUTY.

Its official....

Yar'Adua is the next president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and our farmer president is giving a speech. He is also singing "Winner oh, winner". Oh my goodness..I am rolling with laughter.....

Where we are right now....

I cannot believe that after the tumult and shenanigans of the past 2 weekends - elections, annulled results, sudden public holidays etc i didnt say a thing about politics at all. Well there is nothing to say. I maintain that Obasanjo should have simply announced Yar'Adua as his successor, told people to take it or flee the country and saved us all this nonsense. Money spent, lives lost and more humiliation and embarrassment for my country. When you have an EU observer testify on television that he saw ballot stuffing with his eyes in the open, you get a sense of what happened.

Anyway, i have also come to the conclusion that its individuals and the private sector that will drive progress and growth in this country so to me, Yar'Adua can sit still. We cannot be preaching rhetoric and holier than thou speeches about Nigeria. It is what it is. All the espousing of theories from Marxism to Socialism, to what should be done but isnt being done will not change the fact that we are where we are dealing with what we face.

New attitude: I can only ask that the president Yar'Adua will just hire some half sensible people. The president will reign - at leat Yar'Adua can speak english and so will welcome international dignitaries in a half sensible manner (LOL) and the people he hires will actually lead this country.

On the issue of being a puppet. Yup. But here's the thing, by May 29th, our farmer president ceases to be important and he messed so many people up including his friends that i fear his last days will be sad indeed (whole different matter) so Yar'Adua can decide to tell him to go to hell.OL. Wouldnt that be something. The ultimate checkmate after all the maneuvering.

The results havent be announced yet but the paper state that "Yar'Adua is in a clear lead". Of course. PDP has also agreed to concede a few states. LOL....

My prayer is that once the results are announced, the aftermath is peaceful. No killing or bloodshed. its my people that suffer not the causes of the issues. Besides one of the grudges i have with Nigerians is the masses. We are 150 million strong and when we are being shafted, we just murmur and then follow like drunken sheep. Has it occured to us, that if everyone in Lagos sits at home for 3 days, we can effectively ground this country? LOL. Imagine that? Then the powers that be will be forced to discuss the issues. But all the noise about strikes is made. Then some people get up and go to work. LOL. I mean last year, how many South American regimes were toppled by the masses? What country was it, that had the president actually fleeing the country. The CNN image of the private plane taxi-ing on the runway is forever branded in my mind. LOL.

This is just a rant but the bottom line to this deluge of words is: God bless this country, guide her, protect her and set her on the right path.....Everyone say it....AMEN

On Politics.........

I have done my civic duty and registered to vote. The presidential elections are in April and the key contenders at this points are:

Yar'Adua - Obasanjo's pick

Atiku - Current Vice President

Buhari - Former military ruler

Now, i dont think much of any of these guys but i will vote. So who will get me vote?

I follow the news religiously. I live with a political pundit who also knows history. So my dad will give me insight from years back which i enjoy hearing. My brother has joined us at home and with an undergraduate degree in politcal science and international relations, i have very smart, well read men to answer my many questions.

I now state that of the lot, my vote will go to Atiku.

The man has no doubt lined his pockets but then again who hasnt. They have all done it - its just a question of how much. Some have stolen more, some less. Even the people in the private sector have at some point lined their pockets. My dad calls it enlightened self interest. It is human nature though as its done worldwide. We are just not as sophisticated as the West in hiding it.

But the man has something about him which if channelled properly can do this nation some good.

Did you know that Atiku recommended Ms Okonjo-Iweala to the president after looking her up and being impressed with her achievements at the World Bank?

Atiku is is a savvy business man who isnt afraid to hire the best to take care of business.

I am most impressed by his stubborness.

Atiku has given it hard to Obasanjo since this saga began. Let's not forget that Atiku "won" the elections way back and the powers that be including one of my favorite people - IBB decided to put Obasanjo in power. Atiku was not pleased but there was an agreement which led to him being made VP. There is the story of the famous humiliation of OBJ. OBJ had to prostrate for Atiku and this is apparently true.

Anyway, OBJ decided to get rid of his Vice when he thought he was done with him around the time his efforts to get a 3rd term began to pick up steam. Suprise, suprise. Atiku refused to do the "right" thing and resign.

Atiku has exposed some of the sins of our holier than thou president including looted funds, companies used as fronts and even gifts to women (our president seems to LOVE the ladies).

OBJ and his cohorts have tried to declare the seat of the VP vacant but its not working so far. Yesterday, the papers carried the headline: "Atiku......tops EFCC list". This morning, the papers state: "Atiku sues Ribadu". Atiku is one fearless, stubborn man.

He has made some sound statements in the past few weeks. If anyone goes to the CNN website today, Nigeria is THE news for today - in particular, the Niger Delta. Its harrowing. Atiku stated that the current administration was not doing anything about this area. He said the sophisticated weapons used by these young men were being supplied with the knowledge of the administration and the solution to this problem is not being addressed. He quite eloquently said this business of kidnapping and paying ransoms is just the tip of the iceberg. That this seemingly "little" matter of MEND (movement for the emancipation of the Niger Delta) could destablize this whole country.

I agree with him and i think a lot of people following this matter will agree with him. How can the reason for all the greed and corruption - this oil, be coming from an area where the inhabitants live in conditions so deplorable, that there are no words to describe it. Add to that able bodied young people watching the expatriates come and go and there is nothing to show for it. When the traditional rulers and governors are settled by the oil service companies and this windfall doesnt flow down to the people? I went to Bayelsea state - Yenagoa and i couldnt believe it. Its a shame.

Atiku pointed this out again last week when these militants stopped 2 governors from attending the PDP convention in one of the states in that region. These men stood in the middle of the road and stopped the convoys while firing some shots in the air. The governors simply turned back. And the OBJ administration doesnt think this is a serious enough problem? The kidnapping of expats is increasing. I can only thank God that these men are not killing the hostages. A lot of the released hostages say they are treated well and the young men treat the older men with so much respect. That's not the point though. The point is why has this been allowed to degenerate to this level?

Anyway, i guess the point of this post is that at this point, Atiku has my vote. He isnt the best person to run this country and i dont know who is. Definitely not a technocrat and i dont see any politicians now that can run this country. Sure some of them can be given portfolios - Donald Duke should handle tourism, Oby Ekwesili should go back to solid minerals even though she is doing well in education...etc.

Let me be even more radical and go out on a limb and say that i believe that women should be given certain offices to hold. This is not about feminism or gender equality, i am just being realistic. Certain types of women are soooo stubborn, so principled and are willing to take even the old boys to get things done. See what Dora Akinyuli, Ms Okonjo-Iweala, Oby Ekwesili, Ifueko Omoigui have done. These women are a different breed. These women are not the wear jewelery and expensive lace ladies. These are action, focused women who have made a difference in such a short time and i am sure behind the scenes, they face so many obstacles. Imagine what would have been achieved if these women were given free rein?

I will halt here and state again as i have done so many times before that i love my country and this is my home. In my own way, i believe i am making a difference with some of the things that i am doing and what my company is doing. And i know that i will do more as time goes on. Because we have all been exposed to the rest of the world in different ways, we tend to compare this 46 year old nation with ancient civilizations that have been around for centuries. We are not where we should be but we are growing and jumping some growth stages and i really truly believe that when we are a century old, we will be something else. Hmm. Actually, i beleive that in 10 years, Nigeria will be a far cry from where we are today.

Here's to this nation of resilience with a future so bright.....

Nigeria's new president?

So there was a headline in a nigerian paper a few days ago: "Presidential plan spoils Yar'Adua'a plan". I read it and didnt think anything of it till today.

The story says that Yar'adua had already accepted a teaching position at the Ahmadu Bello University after his tenure as governor ended. This plan was thwarted upon his pick as PDP presidential candidate.

Okay: So he obviously had no desire to be president. He was just picked. This also means, he has no agenda and has given no thought to plans for the country. So whose agenda and plans will he be espousing? Okay so i know the answer to this question but still...

Rumous have circulated about his state of health ever since The Economist stated categorically that he has kidney problems and is actually on dialysis. He doesnt look physically fit to anyone. Well, after weeks of not addressing this issue and then denying this, Obasanjo in a press conference, acknowledged his illness but said "God has healed him since .....(in stated the year but i dont remember)"

So our options so far: Yar'Adua (the puppet for Obasanjo's 3rd term afterall), Buhari (i dont know much about him and his politics but words like dictator seem to trail him) and Atiku (who hasnt done the preferred thing and resigned and played dead but has continued to hound Obasanjo and his administrationand expose them little by little. He is however, very corrupt and quite the thief)....

The future seems very bright for Nigeria wouldnt you say?

Aftermath!

So christmas day has come and gone and i have missed blogging. I have just been so overwhelmed. I just got in from spending some time with some family friends during this muslim holiday. I really hope everyone is having a great holiday. My review blog will be updated almost daily as i have spent so much time doing the things i love - movies, music and books.

So much has happened in the world though:

James Brown passed on and i will dedicate a soundbyte to this legend in the new year

Sadam Hussein has been executed. I have so many thoughts on this but in all this, the illusion of America the compassionate and just has never rung falser.

Gerald Ford passed on. He died at at a ripe age and as much as he will receive a state funeral, i will say he is not a president i know much about. His wife Betty (of the famed Betty Ford Clinic) yes but i can truly say that all i know about this president is the fact that he lost to the peanut farmer from Georgia (Jimmy Carter). It has been really interesting to watch and hear about his administration and his life.

The farce that is Nigerian politics continues and i am embarrassed at the antics of Obasanjo and his stooges. The legacy of this administration in my view is summed up as "A Comedy of Errors".

On a personal note, i am happy. My feelings for my dance partner have evolved and returned back to indifference and a little bit of irritation if i am being honest. Must have something to do with a few reconnections i have made over this period that have given me a different point of view. But i have been here before, felt this way before for my dance partner so i will not be leaping and doing backflips at really being over him....

Enjoy the rest of the holiday....

ABC, Nigeria & 419

ABC's hugely popular news program 20/20 aired a special on Nigerian scammers. It has made the papers here today and of course we are all affronted. Check it out here and let me know what you think....According to The Guardian, the program goes on to describe my Lagos as "a crime ridden disgrace of a city" and has shots of Oshodi to buttress its point. I am upset all round. Mad at these 419ers that give programs like 20/20 material to embarrass us with. Mad at 20/20 for in my mind not showing the muguns for what they are - greedy fools, mad that Brian Goss and his team have the guts to use a Nigerian song to make their point, mad at it the fact that in some respects, they are right, mad at it all

There is also a side news item on the same site above that tells the story of an ex-congressman who happens to be the father of Chelsea Clinton's current boyfriend (and rumoured fiance) serving a jail term for his love for scams including the Nigerian black money scam.

Repost - Made in Nigeria!

I apologise in advance for the repost below. Its soooo lame but since i am easy, i find it absolutely hilarious:

In line with the Nigerian federal government's renewed drive to encourage exports, a group of "experts" have come up with suggestions on how to improve the image of our local products by renaming them to conform to international standards on exports. Feel free to offer additional suggestions:

Kuli Kuli - Peanut Bars
Donkuwa/Robo Alata - Hot Charcolit Nuts
Kilishi - Beef Crackers
Dundun - Yamarita
Boli - Barbequed Plantain
Roasted Corn - Corn Aflame
Eko/Agidi - Corn Jello
Moin Moin - Bean Pie
Isi Ewu - Goat Hedo Lickins
Garri - Grain O Fibers
Bokoto/Nkwobi - Hoof Salad
Ogi/Akamu - Corn Caramel
Puff Puff - Energy Buns
Chin Chin - Dough Rocks
Zobo - Juice Rose Afrik
Kunnu - Grain Alive
Gurudi - Coconut Jaw Breakers
Bread & Akara - Bean Cake Burger
Ofada Rice - Unpolished rice for vegetarians
Adalu - Lentils & Grain Salad
Ikokore -Continental Yam Casserole

Obasanjo the jester!

After the fatal crash on Sunday, the government has taken the aviation minister out of office and replaced him with - wait for it and drum roll please: Controversial mouthpiece of the government and former minister of culture: Fani Kayode.

What the hell? Fani Kayode couldnt handle being a propaganda master properly, then he was moved to culture(that crass man wouldnt know culture if it knocked him out), now he is in charge of aviation?

Lord help us all.

Updates!

When i got home last night, my dad had company and i joined in for a quick chat. Out of that came some feedback on the cause of the fatal ADC plane crash:

The pilot was told by the control tower to wait a few minutes on the runway. Was told that even though he was clear to take off, there were strong winds that would hit a few minutes into the flight. This conversation was heard by pilots in Virgin Nigeria and AeroContractor planes that were queued behind the ADC plane awaiting clearance for take-off. The pilot said he could maneuver his way around it. He took off and made a right bank to face Sokoto when the winds in question hit the plane and literally slammed the plane to the ground. This was especially made worse by the fact that the plane hadnt reached cruising altitude and hadnt even straightened out after take-off.

Now, the sources of this information are active in the aviation sector and are actually heads of some agencies in that sector. One of the survivors - a female youth corper was thrown clear out of the plane and was completely unscathed.

The lack of emergency response made helping the injured woeful. The head of Nigeria's fire service was spewing fire. He was sooo mad. He said to reporters that it was dismal that since the colonialists handed Nigeria back to us, the fire service has remained the same. He said absolutely nothing meaningful has been done and apparently his portfolio is deemed inconsequential in comparison to other matters of state.

I wonder what Obasanjo is thinking. The superstitious part of me thinks God is sending the man a sign. In his presidency, he lost his wife, 3 major airlines have crashed, one crash containing military personnel, several near incidents. On the other hand, i have to wonder if EFCC, 3rd term bids, impeachment support, fights with his vice president, frustrating the finance minister out of office, missing funds from the oil and NNPC accounts are the things that a sitting president of MY BELOVED NIGERIA should be worrying about?

Considering the fact that there is so much travel in Nigeria that supports businesses, transports expatriates bringing in business, supports the private sector, you would think that this area would be of top priority. The roads are death traps, highway robbery is rampant and now the airline sector is torpedoing.

The head of one of the agencies that's a family friend now has armed security guards and a bulletproof vehicle because his proposed changes met with threats from all angles including some people in the private sector benefitting from the shoddy way things are done right now. Even attempts to re-certify pilots and give new guidelines for the qualification of the pilots met with so much resistance. We cry about using local personnel but then some of them have shoddy qualifications. Bringing in foreigners is well and good but people dont want to pay them what they are worth opting instead to go with cheaper options.

One can go round and round about all the issues surrounding this crash and the general state of things in Nigeria. What are the answers? People in my generation that should be making a difference in one way or another dont care. Some of them are abroad and have absolutely no intention of coming home. Some of them back home while being successful are content to make their money and party with the best of them and be trendy and date and marry the beautiful people without making a contribution that matters. The ones that are interested in making a change lose faith when faced with the utter corruption and game playing that goes on in the corridors of power.

Looking to God is the solution but even that is rife with corruption and exploitation. When some "men of God" ride around in bulletproof convoys of exotic guards complete with armed guards (what are they afraid of?), others declare themselves "Jesus Christ" and take to burning congregation members for alleged sins such as refusing to sleep with them (Nigeria's Reverend King who is on trial right now), one has to wonder if God hasnt turned away from this country. When some so-called christians (especially christians) are the biggest hypocrites that exist. Considering the number of churches, traditional healers, house fellowships, juju men, mosques that exist in this country, one would think we would have become the next chosen country. I believe in one God for all faiths but for those that dont believe, one would think that any of the ultimate beings including those gods consulted by the juju men would have manifested by now.

Which way Nigeria?

Nigeria, Conservation and Tunde

This is one of the funniest things i have heard. I am not sure if its fact or an urban legend but here goes:

An older friend told me last night that in Lagos, a conservation park was established a few years ago. I believe its really close to Chevron in Lekki. Anyway, a huge media blitz followed especially around the introduction of the first and only inhabitant, an antelope called Tunde. Not sure why that name was chosen but i think its safe to say the antelope was a buck. The conservation agency and a whole bunch of expatriates and bored housewives interested in this type of charity got really excited and went on and on about how Nigeria was changing and beginning to care about nature - la di da.

A few days later, a shocking piece appeared in the news. Tunde was dead. Not of natural causes, but he was murdered. Not to worry! Fear not my fellow Lagosians, the culprit had been apprehended as well. Who would have dared to do something so dastardly? Who would have the sophistication and know-how to get past the clever and tight security in place to guard Tunde and the plants with the interesting latin names? Who could be so cruel?

The culprit in custody was a hunter. According to him, he did not understand why everyone was making such a huge fuss over some bushmeat. He said this was food for his family and that he was thinking he could sell parts of Tunde as well. He did the whole Mission Impossible routine and scaled through all the security in place.

The end of Tunde.

Is this true? Who knows as i wasnt in the country at the time. Its a good story though and it had me in stitches last night. Gosh i love this country.