Work is moving at blazing speed. The year is almost over and its almost time to take stock again. Of achievements, failures, progress made and all that. I do that. I think its important - well for me anyway since i am slightly obsessive compulsive.
So a few things are on my mind:
- What is Yar'Adua up to? He suspends the new naira policy, suspends the education reforms, scraps NNPC etc. Hmmm....
- Our beloved Speaker of the House who approved a couple of hundred million naira for house renovations...She is a hair dresser. LOL...So i think the way forward is to get a government appointment and do my thing. Shucks!
- If i have one body - ie one face, 10 fingernails, ten toenails etc, why on earth do i have soooooo many products - cleaners, soaps, nail polishes etc? Wasteful perhaps? But i dont have them, i feel odd...
- What on earth is the point of life? Yes i ask this now and again but like really. You do all these things. Make all these choices, push and push, quarrel and makeup, love and lose and all for what. It just seems to all be a bloody waste of time and space. Cos really, some human beings are just taking up space cos i cannot understand what earth they are existing for
- So what do you do when you are bored with your own life? Its the same thing. I wake up in the morning at a ridiculous hour. I pray. Pretty much the same prayer in different ways afterall nothing really changes. Thank God, ask for protection and guidance, thank God and praise him and emm maybe specific needs... Anyway pray. Turn on my tv for 10 minutes of CNN. Get into the shower. Get out and continue whatever is in the DVD player. Same lotion, same order of moisturizing (from my feet up). All fragrances in a specific order. Today - a Victoria Secret body splash. Tomorrow - perfume. Get dressed in the work constraints. Get into the car, turn on the music and drive the same long route to the office. Get to work and work. Get into the car - maybe hangout with the same people, or if its someone new - same old conversation about who u are, and what u like while dotting my i's and crossing my t's. Then i go home. Say hey to the folks. Catch up with my brother. Go to my room, continue with whatever is in the DVD player, send text messages or call the same old people (and i love you all but still), read a few pages of whatever i am reading, read my bible and sleep. Weekends are just random but its the same damn thing. I am so bored with my life
- I feel a restlessness in my soul and i dont know what its about. Do i want to leave the country for a while - maybe find some obscure course and ship off to South America for 6 months. Do i want to move into an apartment of my own and fill my time decorating? Do i want to take up a new hobby - say cross stitching (LOL - imagine me doing that), do i want to stop working? What on earth is it...I am itching but for what?
- I now realise that i can be very very anti-social. Frankly, i dont like people very much..LOL
- I truly believe that unless one finds peace within oneself, there cant be space to share one's life with anyone. And no i dont restrict this to romantic love. I just dont see how an unfulfilled, insecure and maybe unhappy person can bring joy to anyone else....
Back to the same old thing i go.....Much Love!