Most people of Nigerian descent are familiar with sickle cell anaemia.
Most of us young adults are also aware of how important genotype is in relationships that will turn into marriage. So if both parties are AA, its deep breaths of relief for all. If one party is AS and other is AA, no problems there either.
But what happens when both parties are AS? This means that there is a 1 in 4 chance that every child conceived of this union will be a sickler.
Case in Point: 2 people that have known each other for years but never quite got together. Like a lot of fairytales, a friendship blooms and suddenly the affection is mutual. And one party is building castles in the clouds while the other's affection wanes. Well not wanes exactly, for this party clearly cares about the other. But its halted. After a lot of prodding, cajoling and plain brutal questioning, the truth comes out. Party A realizes that Party B is As. Party B does not make the connection immediately and then it clicks. They are both AS. Party A thinks that what they have should be let go of to prevent complications. Party B is sad but aware of the role technology and modern medicine and doesnt see it as the end of things. Both Parties go back and forth but Party A is adamant that it is better to end things as this relationship is serious enough to end up in marriage. Party B is sad that Party A is "giving up" on this special thing.
Is Party A right? Should this relationship go to prevent problems down the line? Is Party B right in wanting things to proceed and then relying on future tests to take care of pregnancy issues down the line?
What do you think?
8 comments:
I have been in this position before and we chose to end it. It hurt and i cried for weeks and weeks but we ended it
That's a really really tough situation. I wish I had an eloquent response for this. Happy New Year!!
Well its tough, funny someone close to me was in the same dilemma, like i told them, with faith just pray the kids will turn out good.. its just rather ignorant for "party A" to let go just like that...
Happy New Year Miss Uzo.... best wishes!
I cannot advice because I have never been in the shoes of a parent who has to live with the fear that one day, their child could die because of a condition that cannot be treated...and I pray that I never am.
But I think I have heard that there is something medical that can be done. i mean, if drugs can help a HIV positive mother have an HIV negative baby, is it too much to ask that something be done to prevent the occurence of sickle cell?
Omobolanle Mi. This is Aunty N. You know this is what happened with your uncle and me. We have 2 beautiful children that are AA and AS. It is tough but if love and God are there, both parties can pull through. It requires a lot of supporting each other because with us, we were advised that immediately i take in, i see a doctor. We did that and the resulting tests meant that we had to terminate 2 pregnancies. We had discussed this ahead of time and knew that we would rather do that than put our children through the suffering of sickle cell anaemia.
Happy New Year. Deep topic. When the head rules the heart, Party A's option seems more sensible, but really hard. Sometimes the heart isnt so smart..
If I met my 'one'... the one with whom I would fulfil God's purpose and destiny for my life... my best friend... the one with whom I share that "crazy kind of love" with... then I'm sorry but my bloodtype won't keep me from him.
There are so many facets to the issue... I for one won't try to have babies and then terminate if they are SS. That's something I'm totally against so I believe if I was in the AS/AS predicament then I would make the deision to not have kids and possibly adopt. Which honestly when you think about it... children are children and there are so many without a home... the difference between a biological child and an adopted is just that... one came from you... your genes... and that is beautiful in and of itself... but at the end of the day children need to be loved and parents need to raise children that will grow into wholesome good people. At that point it won't matter who's womb they came from.
I just saw this and i really feel the pain of both parties. I was with my partner for 2 years and then he proposed. It was at that point that we realised we were both AS. We broke up but ended up back together because after being through so much in relationships, we realised that what we had was so special. He said there were bigger issues that we could be dealing with and he said we were concentrating on the 1 in 4 chance and not focusing on the 3 in 4 chance that the babies wont be sicklers. We are getting married this year and have discussed what we will do about our babies (whoch i would rather not say)but with God on our side and we believe God sanctified this union, then victory and overcoming are ours.
I wish both parties luck.
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