- I have a special kind of love. Its not romantic love. Its not "mandatory" love from family. I am blessed to have a friend that i know loves me warts and all. My friend has seen me at my highs, shared my good news, shared a lot of my happy times and silly times. My friend has also seen me when i have hit rock bottom. You know the Ugly cry times....when the tears come from the depth of your soul. This friend has seen those. This friend has challenged me. Been mad at me. Yelled at me. Not talked to me for ages. Listened to me rant about nothing. Been my fan, my supporter but has also been my critic. Through all this: it hit me last week. This friend loves me. As in, i know that if i need this friend, time and distance will not be an issue. Its a wonderful feeling to have. To know that there is someone in this world who doesnt have to be there for you, who doesnt have to put up with you, doesnt have to love you - but has CHOSEN to love you. See i believe that love is a choice. Its not automatic or easy. So everyday, that choice to love a person must be re-affirmed or else stuff will get in the way. So i have a precious love that i am so grateful for.
- I am not much of a people person which means that my circle is quite small. I am not the easiest person to deal with. I can go weeks without talking to people or making calls to friends. When i dont feel like talking, i dont. And i get irritated when i am not left alone. When i go into my manic socializing ways, its almost like a different person has emerged. Partly because of who i am and the way i am, there are some relationships in my life that have not been nurtured. As a result, stalemate relationships. In some cases deteriorating relationships. There is one in particular that irks. See we react to people - the vibes they give off. So over the years, vibes i have given and vibes i have gotten from this person have meant a very fragile relationship. As time has hardened me, the things which i should have made the effort to fix rolled off my back. Now here we are: the deterioration has stopped. But there hasnt been an improvement. So here we are - stuck in that awkward place. Knowing that everything isnt right. But what to do? Maybe i know what to do, but the steps that need to be taken are just too hard right now
Alright - I am turning off this Everybody Hurts song. Sheesh!