Monday, September 18, 2006
Words from DiamondHawk
Since i entered this mad but wonderful world of blogging, i have reconnected with old friends and made new friends. Some of the new friends are on my list to meet: Delot, LondonBuki, Onada, Nneka and DNG consider yourselves warned. One of the really fun bloggers i chat with and who has quickly become my buddy is DiamondHawk. Since she asked me to move to blogger, i figured i would ask her to write something for me to make up for the hassle of html and not having my yahoo Avatar.
I will also admit that i "borrowed" the idea of sharing my blog with others from a certain blogger. I am only mentioning this since he's a lawyer and i really dont want to hear anything about intellectual property infringement.
So here she is:
WHICH IS WORSE
Emotional Cheating or Physical Cheating
Some time ago I confessed to a friend that I was lured by somebody's words. I couldn't help it. The words called my name; it would have been rude not to answer. I was strongly cautioned against taking any more steps because apparently I had just become an emotional cheater. I was allowing myself to feel things with someone (the writer) that I shouldn’t have. But I couldn’t help it. I promise you that I couldn’t. I did not plan to read the words...I just happened to stumble upon them and they touched something in me and yes I craved more and more. It was like all of a sudden I had found a void I didn’t know exists and I needed it filled.
And so I began to wonder...No one ever wants to be confronted with a cheating episode in their relationship but how do you define cheating. Is it the physical act? and what specifically would the physical act have to be. Are there limitations? Or is it more emotional.
I can tell you that I've had the opportunity to make friends with several guys. Each one has their unique qualities. One makes me laugh, another can sing the alphabet to me and I'd still be hooked. And once again, another is able to lure me to his web through his words...there are a few out there like that. I don’t actively seek these people out but through life's course I got to meet them and I treasure the connection we have with each other. Is it wrong that I want to hold on to these connections while in a relationship?
As I write this I recall the movie The Best Man. Morris Chestnut played the groom who had serious issues with his bride being with his friend, the best man. In fact, the marriage almost didn’t hold. During the wedding ceremony, he suffered through flitting images of two people locked in physical intimacy. The knowledge that his wife-to-be had been with someone else was almost too much to stomach. In this case, the physical got to him. Or that is what I assume.
What about the married man that chats online with various women... is this emotional or physical? Or the woman that flirts with her coworker…a cheater in the making?
There are so many blogs on relationships these days. Truly a lot of us are around the age where we're looking for the one to spend the rest of our life with. This decision is not one that can be made lightly....and it could sometimes get confusing. Emotions are quite complex.
Im trying to wade my way through this: is emotional cheating worse than physical?
How is it defined? What is the point at which you know the line has been crossed?
Do they go hand in hand? Is the response based on the gender of the person that is being asked the question? Perhaps it’s based on the type of relationship and the boundaries that has been set.
As for me, when I was reading the words that had captured my attention. I felt no guilt. It felt good. Until the day I was found out. Although I’m barely admitting it, I realized that it could be considered emotional cheating. I didn’t mean for it to be that way though…
Recommended Reading : Other Men’s Wives by Freddie Lee Johnson III