Monday, September 11, 2006

Argument Etiquette


Got back home after a very long day and after spending some time with my parents, i settled in for the night. Phone rang. A friend of mine just wanting to say hi. In the course of our conversation, i asked about her boyfriend. He was fine but they had a bit of an argument so a bit cold. Of course i laughed. Then she said after all the yelling and screaming, they both needed time to cool off.

After we hung up, it hit me..she said yelling and screaming. Got me thinking. In relationships, are people allowed to yell, curse and scream at each other? I am sure it has a lot to do with the personalities of the people involved. I racked my brain - back and forth. I cannot remember ever yelling and cursing out a boyfriend. Sure my voice volume would rise. But that happens to me when i get passionate about anything including talking about shoes so its no biggie. I remember me crying, or steely silence or just walking away. But i do not remember ever getting in his face and all. Maybe not my style?

Some would say, true honesty of emotion is a good thing in a relationship. I agree but why would i yell, curse and scream at him? I hate raised voices of anger in my direction so why would i extend that discourtesy (i made that word up) to anyone else other than my kids of course.

I have been told that i am a bit of a clam. I retreat into my shell when a situation gets out of hand or i am at a loss as to what to do. So that might have something to do with it.

But is there a right or wrong way to argue with a partner? What is your argument style?

12 comments:

LondonBuki said...

I have to say I have been guilty of shouting and saying things I regret less than an hour later... :-( That's something I am trying to work on though. I know sometimes, when we are annoyed, our thinking is not as rational as normal...

Diamond said...

testing testing....YAAAYYY...can see this at work

HMMM...screaming and shouting...I dont remember doing all that. Yes, arguments have gotten heated...voices may have slightly been raised. but nothing over the top

NaijaBloke said...

Nice to see u finally moved to blogsville.Always read ur blog but left a comment once a while.

I have noticed that most women actually shout in the course of an argument.Well me i have concluded that women r never wrong and we can't win an argument with u guys.

Have fun and welcome to blogsville.

Uzo said...

@Naijabloke: Are we really that bad? I really hope that you dont just let her have her way all the time for the sake of peace?

Thanks for the welcome

Lee said...

Some people can't just control it. I say its better than to pretend.
Sometimes, I have this nature of bottling up my anger, but at a certain point, when im exhausted, I erupt like a volcano which is never a pretty sight.

At least thats the real them, so let them be..
For me, it all depends on my mood at that point in time when the argument took place.

@Naijabloke: hmm its not all the time oh.. although I'm a woman but sometimes you shud not condone nonsense from a woman..see me talking.. (I know what I'm saying)

NaijaBloke said...

@uzo ..u r asking me if u guys r really that bad.DUH ... even if u r caught redhanded u still turn the tables on us.

Scared of marriage sef now,cos by the time the woman lie for ya head for this stupid country wey person dey,na the woman dem go believe,but God dey sha.LOL

Take care

Uzo said...

Wow Naija bloke...Someone must have done a real number on you.

Olubusola said...

I am on your side Uzo. I can't remember ever screaming or cursing. I'll be the first to admit that I am quite capable of turning the tables on a man in an argument but it's usually with cold calm logic that no man can resist. If all else fails, I cry.

Uzo said...

Olubusola: I agree with you on the crying bit as a last resort.

NaijaBloke said...

Hahaha ..see what am talking abt now.. like I said God dey sha.LOL

uzo said...

Kai Naija bloke...Do i have to hook you up with a nic woman to change your perspective?

rethots said...

Food for thot......how so easy it is not to realise that (though published/ spoken) arguements should have etiquettes.

Anyways, i have always believed that an arguement is not owrth it 'cos, 'him' with the louder voice 'seemingly' believes 'he' is right. Just maybe, if we ply the route of discourse ....unconsciously we would aknowledge the etiquettes of 'arguement'.

Very interesting subject.