Women's Issue - Uzo's Issues - On my mind

Its one of those Lagos rainy days and as i sit here trying to catch up on my emails and getting over the antics of yesteday, my mind is wandering and i am just trawling through thoughts and feelings.......Work is a weird place to be doing this but i dont think one can control these things....

• I am filled with a sense of resignation. I knew this was coming but its finally hit me. We will never be and there it is. How do i feel? Weird and a little sad but truth be told i have known it for a while.
• I am filled with excitement because a couple of things are brewing in my life at the moment that let me know that my future is going to be very very interesting, fulfilling and blessed
• I am eager and itchy to go to my future already. I know that all these wonderful things are in store for me and i just wish i can skip through my now and leap into my tomorrow. However, i know that its my then and now that will shape who i will be tomorrow so i just have to be...Its not like i have Harry Potter's powers...
• I am overwhelmed with love for my friend N. She looked soooo beautiful yesterday and even though she has lost her voice and sounds so tired, i could hear her happiness. Tomorrow is the big day and i will be there firmly with her, ready to go out of my way to ensure that she has the best day. I am so excited and so happy for her and F. I have been there from the beginning, to the fights and making up, to the proposal, to the planning, to moving house.....I love this young woman who is one of the sweetest people ever. Her soft spoken voice has comforted me, defended me, laughed with me countless times since i have known her. Her presence just calms me. Agggggggghhh! F is one lucky man
• I am tired. M sleepy and tired but its good tiredness

Thoughts on a rainy day. Life is really so interesting. Some days are a blur when i am so busy that i can barely think. There are days when i dont have time for feelings or emotions. And then there are days like today when all the neglected thoughts and relegated feelings come to the surface and nothing will do to distract me from them. In times like this, one wonders what to do with all these feelings.

Do feelings get resolved? Or are they just there. For instance, my feeling of resignation will pass or it can evolve. My love for Miss N will remain constant but can evolve....Ah ha...Feelings always evolve or change. But there are sometimes, i wish i didnt have any. Feelings i mean. Sometimes, you feel things - like hatred for instance. And in order to get a handle on this hatred towards a person, you have to dig deep and we are forced to face some home truths...So mits simply easier to not do the digging and then blame everyone else or simply ignore the feelings.

I an rambling i know but i cant be eloquent and dazzling all the time. My name is Uzo and this is where i am today

Have a great weekend.!

P.S: For all those bloggers going to the bash tomorrow, take some pictures for my benefit