Thursday, November 08, 2007

A conversation with Mommy

Most of the women i know enjoy interesting relationships with their moms. They love hard, they fight hard and most importantly (LOL), they gossip a lot about the people they know. So a few weeks ago, i came home late from work and had this conversation with my mom. I just remembered cos my mom is out of town and she called to mention one of the parties in this story.....

Uzo: Mommy good evening

Mommy: How r u? How was work?

Uzo: Fine...How was the shop?

Mommy: Fine. Oya come and sit down. I have gist for you.

Uzo hastens to sit on the bed. Bring on the gist / gossip

Mommy: so remember i told you i saw N the other day coming out of a strange road?

Uzo: Yes. And people are free to go wherever they want oh. Mommy, the road you saw him come out of is not strange. You just dont know what he was doing there.

Mommy: Sisi...listen jare.

Uzo: Okay. Go ahead

Mommy: So today, i got the real gist from Mrs B

Uzo: Oya tell me

Mommy: He is having an affair and that is where his mistress lives. Down that street

Uzo: No way. He cant be having an affair. How can?

Mommy: Abeg jare. But his mistress is a blind woman

Uzo: Ehn! How can?

Mommy: Yes oh! Imagine

Uzo: How did he meet a blind woman? I mean there is nothing wrong i am sure....Although...But how did he meet a blind woman?

Mommy: In his office.

Uzo: He has blind women in his office? But he is an architect..How? What will a blind woman be doing there?

Mommy: Doing her work of course.

Uzo: But how? What will a blind woman be doing in his office?

Mommy: Look...they are having an affair. Can you imagine? And his wife knows the blind woman

Uzo: Mommy i still dont understand.

Mommy: What is there to understand? They are having an affair. But Mrs B said that his wife caught them in a compromising position oh. That N is not talking to his wife over the scene she made so he has been staying with the blind woman for a few days.

Uzo: This is serious oh

Mommy: Exactly. All i know is that i will tell your daddy that if N or his wife come here to discuss it, we should be quiet and not say anything

Uzo: Na wah oh. But mommy - a blind woman. Haba. How does she know if she even likes N? I mean...Anyway, maybe its because N has money.

Mommy: What do you mean? These women dont care. Besides he is a fine man

Uzo: But how will she know?

Mommy: Kilo n se omo e? What do you mean how will she know? She has eyes...

Uzo: But she is a blind woman...

Mommy: And so

Uzo: If she is blind, how can she see him?

Mommy: Blind? She is not blind

Uzo: You have been saying the blind woman since...what do you mean she is not blind

Mommy: ...pause.....Oh....(at this point she begins to laugh hysterically)

Uzo: What is so funny now?

Mommy: She is not blind. She makes blinds

Uzo: She makes curtains?

Mommy: Yes now. Blinds and curtains are the same thing. How can N go out with a blind woman? Where will he find her? Uzo sef...

Yup... A conversation with my mom....

21 comments:

Nonesuch said...

lol really hard. Uzo sef. Where would N have seen a blind woman?

LondonBuki said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

DiAmOnD hawk said...

oh my goodness... you two could have a show

blind woman now uzo... how come you didnt get it..

LOL

Daddy's Girl said...

LOLLL... that's hilarious.... mothers and their daughters...

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

This conversation just killed me. Your mum is tooo tooo funny. My mum also have daily gists for me.. na wa ooo..

Pix Gremlin (akin) said...

'm laughing at work because of this conversation and my colleagues think I'm nuts..

nice one.. :-)

Olawunmi said...

lol. that was some conversation. talk about being on 2 different pages. lol. lost in translation anyone?

i was expecting your mom to say that the women would see the man with her "inner eye".

"blind" woman. lol

Anonymous said...

Hilarious

Nneka's World said...

LOLLLLL!!!!!!

That was a funny conversation...

LOL!!!!!!!!

Wish i was the fly on the wall to see your face.

Classic

~Mimi~ said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

i'm updatin tomorrow oh! :)

acainto said...

LOL! Your mom is a hoot! What would she have called her if the woman worked for the postal service? A male (=mail) woman???

Pink-satin said...

lol!blind woman!LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Anonymous said...

LOL! Uzoma, you are mad! It's funny sha, you captured your mom's way of talking. I can just picture Aunty T talking with that her sweet baby face. HA!

Bola said...

lmao seriously I didn't even consider curtains.

laspapi said...

I was trying to figure this until I got to the end of the post. Made me smile broadly at the end.

ps. Uzo, take time! Really blind people have relationships o.

Allied said...

lol.. that was very funny.

Onada said...

OMG THATS HILARIOUS!! HAHAHAHAAHAHA

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

lol...

but if she was bling nko? Can't the visually impaired get some love?

SET said...

LOLLLLLLL
YOUR MOM IS TOO CUTE. I THOUGTH SHE SAID THE LADY WAS BLIND TOO. LOL GOOD READ. THX

Alan said...

Hi Uzo, I just wandered over from Daddy's Girl's blog. This post was hilarious. LOL.

Anonymous said...

this was too funny